Ryan Quotes From The Office

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Ryan: I want an outsider.
Jim Halpert: Perfect. There are several outside candidates that we think would be really...
Ryan: No, I mean an ousider. Like someone on the margins of society. Who doesn't see things like we do. Like a homeless person.
Pam Beesly: A homeless person. Really? A homeless person.
Ryan: No, you're right, Pam. Let's just leave them to the welfare system. Let that handle it.
Pam Beesly: No, I want you to say that you think the best person to be or new manager is a homeless person.
Ryan: Let me guess who you want Pam. Rachael Ray, the ladies of The View.
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Ryan: Yes, I understand that David. I just felt that if we were to downsize Kelly and then outsource customer service to India, which a lot of companies-- yeah, no, yes Kelly is Indian. I understand that's confusing.
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Ryan: Did this happen on company property?
Michael Scott: It was on company property, with company property. So, double jeopardy, we're fine.
Ryan: I don't think-- I don't think you understand how jeopardy works.
Michael Scott: Oh, I'm sorry. What is, 'we're fine'?
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Stanley: [Screaming at Ryan] That little girl is a child! I don't want see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon, do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind, cause I'll help you find it, whatcha looking for, ain't nobody gonna help you out there, Jesus could come through that door, he's not going to help you, if you don't stop sniffing after my child!
[cut to Ryan]
Ryan: Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most freighting experiences of my life.
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Michael Scott: Ryan? Ryan, we're gonna take your clothes off.
Ryan: No! [sits up] Guys. I think my friend Troy might have a drug problem. What do I do?
Dwight Schrute: I think his species might have a higher tolerance than ours.
Michael Scott: Shh. Just-- stop. Here's what you do. You tell him, that you're his friend and that you're going to help him and that everything's going to be alright. [pause] And then you put a wire on him, and you find out who's selling him, drugs, and then, you get that and you flip him. Turn him into a snitch. You follow that guy, to people really, really bad.
[Ryan lies back down]
Michael Scott: [to camera] Been watching The Wire recently. I don't understand a word of it.
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Ryan: How's my favorite branch doing? Alright. [sits down at receptionist desk]
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Ryan: I found the pudding cups you wanted at a gas station in Carbondale!
Michael Scott: You did it, look at you! And with the plate and the napkin, very nice... thank you Ryan. Did you get the yams?
Ryan: No, the gas station in Carbondale did not have fresh yams!
Michael Scott: [sighs] Oh okay. I'll just have the pudding.
Ryan: You sure?
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Ryan: Okay.
[later]
Michael: Scott: You know what? I feel better. Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding, and his kindness healed my foot.
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Kevin: Whoa, where'd you get that hat?
Ryan: I'd rather not say.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons