Ryan Quotes From The Office

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Ryan Howard: Do you guys wanna hear about Thailand?
Pam/Michael: Sure!
Ryan Howard: It was indescribable.
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Jim: Holly, will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Stanley: Marry me, Holly.
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: That guy's got more than he can handle as it is.
Oscar: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: That marriage would be a sham.
Gabe: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: Easy no.
Angela: Will you marry me?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: That would be hot. I would pay to see that.
Ryan: Will you marry me, Holly?
Holly: No.
Michael Scott: Only one that I was kind of worried about.
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Dwight Schrute: The new IT guy. Nick.
Ryan: Nick.
Dwight Schrute: I think he is the key. He is very trusting, he's looking for friends. He's been given an awesome amount of power and does not know how to wield it.
Ryan: Like Frodo.
Dwight Schrute: Why don't you just let me handle the Tolkien references. OK, Dumb Jock?
Ryan: Well I think he can be corrupted. Like Gollum.
Dwight Schrute: Smeagle, was corrupted and became Gollum.
[cut to talking head]
Dwight Schrute: I might start a diabolical plot against him after this one.
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Ryan: What about this bottle of power drink?
Michael Scott: What flavor?
Ryan: Blue.
Michael Scott: Blue is not a flavor.
Ryan: It says, flavor: blue blast.
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Ryan: I'm not saying I had a meteoric rise. But I did. And if they knew how much I was paying for my haircut now, they wouldn't be giving me a nuggie. It was two hundred dollars.
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Ryan: Do you know if shes looking for something long-term or if she'd be cool just hangin' out?
Jim Halpert: I have no idea.
Ryan: Could ya find out?
Jim Halpert: ...Yeah. Sure.
[later]
Kelly: Oh, long-term definitely. Fall in love, have babies, spend every second together. But don't tell him that, okay? Just tell him I'm like up for anything, I mean I'm not a slut, but who knows?
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[deleted scene from Poor Richards]
Stanley's daughter: [Stanely's daughter enters as Ryan is leaving] Hi Ryan.
Ryan: Hey.
Stanley's daughter: How are you doing? I've...I've missed you.
Ryan: I've missed you too.
Stanley's daughter: Don't you remember me?
Ryan: Umm, you... you gotta give me a hand... Umm, did i meet you at the gym?
Stanley's daughter: No.
Kelly: [In background] Who the hell is Ryan talking to?
Ryan: Are you a client of Dunder Mifflin?
Stanley: [slowly turns around] Oh not again,[stands up] Melissa!
Stanley's daughter: Daddy.
Stanley: [yelling] Wait for me outside.
Ryan: Oh god. [Ryan backs away]
Stanley: [Follows Ryan] She is 16 years old! What is wrong with you?
Ryan: Let me explain what...
Stanley: No, no, no
Ryan: She came right up to me, just like she did when you brought her to work...
Stanley: No, no, no, no
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Ryan: We could sell, but why think so small? We can just get a couple more people involved, and really do this thing our way.
Michael Scott: You and me baby!
Ryan: New investors are key though, that's actually why I came in today.
Michael Scott: Don't you work here full-time?
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[Michael is making farting noises]
Toby: Come on Michael. You're interrupting.
Michael Scott: You're kidding me! God! You say radon is silent but deadly and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth? What is this! You know what we're not going to die of radon we're going to die of boredom.
[office laughs]
Michael Scott: Right? And if I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice.
[disapproval from everyone]
Dwight Shrute: You were being really funny, and then you went too far.
Michael Scott: I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby.
Dwight Shrute: No, it's still...
Michael Scott: OK geniuses how would you do it?
Creed: Curve the bullet, like in my favorite James McAvoy film, um, Wanted.
Oscar: All that does is help you shoot around things. When there's Bin Laden--
Ryan: Is there a curtain rod in the room.
Michael Scott: I donno.
Stanley: How 'bout make believe land has anyyything you want.
Jim Halpert: Stanley please. This is serious.
Angela: Is this the thing where they use an icicle so there's no evidence.
Michael Scott: Yes, we should stab Toby through the heart with an icicle.
Dwight Shrute: Come on, the whole two bullet thing is a red herring. Here's how you do it, you line them all up, you take one bullet shoot them all through the throat at the same time. [stands up] Watch this, Phyllis, you're Hitler, come up here. Toby, you're Toby. Andy, you're Bin Laden. Line up. Throats together.
Toby: I don't wanna do this.
Michael Scott: Toby just do it! God!
Dwight Shrute: [holding his fingers like a gun to Phyllis' throat] Ready? One bullet, and, boom! [shows bullet travelling through Toby and Andy's necks]
Michael Scott: [the office applauds] It works!
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Oscar Have you thought about using the website as an emergency notification system for say, a school shooting, or a fire?
Ryan Howard No, It's not some digital rape whistle. WUPHF is about fun! Fun, communication, connection.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons