Ryan Quotes From The Office
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| Ryan Howard: | It's like, I could run GM but, I couldn't fix a car. It's not saying that one is better than the other. |
| Pam Beesly: | Seriously? Because it sounds like one of those is better than the other. |
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| Michael Scott: | Um actually I'm sending Ryan on a top secret mission. Tell her what it is. |
| Ryan: | Updating emergency contacts? |
| Pam Beesly: | Well, is that really a priority? |
| Michael Scott: | Is it a priority? Oh I dunno. Um, what if there's a tornado, Pam? Peoples legs are crushed under rubble. 'Please, would you be so kind as to call my wife?' No, I can't, because we don't have any emergency contact information because Pam said it wasn't a priority. Think, think with your head Pam. |
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| Michael Scott: | Calling cards are the wave of the future. These things sell themselves. |
| Ryan: | Who uses calling cards anymore? |
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| Ryan: | You have to know how to work this. There is no excuse for this. |
| Michael Scott: | Yep. |
| Ryan: | I can get you a tutor if you need-- |
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| Dwight Schrute: | You got this Kosher certified? |
| Ryan: | No I meant it like, it's cool, it's Kosher, it's all good. |
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| Michael Scott: | Why? What makes her beautiful? [about Kelly] |
| Ryan: | [standing up] Everything. She's perfect. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Seriously? This is what's so important, putting naked pictures on the desktop. |
| Ryan Howard: | That's me and my friend Jasmine from Thailand. |
| Pam Beesly: | I don't wanna look at your friend's boobs all day. |
| Ryan Howard: | You could be hot too if you made any effort, at all. |
| Pam Beesly: | Like how? Dying my hair blond? |
| Ryan Howard: | This is from the sun. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh yeah I bet. |
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| Ryan: | My mom makes the best pesto in the world. And I always tell her, "Mom you should sell this. You'd make a fortune." And she always says, "No. It's just for family." Well, finally I was like **** it, I'll sell it. So I'm like, "Mom, I need you to make a ton of pesto for a pesto party for all my friends." She's like, "Oh, okay." Pesto party, really? Anyway, she makes like a hundred bottles worth. It's so good. And Phyllis just had that Mom look I wanted. |
| [later] | |
| Oscar: | Where did you get this? [cut to a table filled with salsa with a label of a picture of Oscar, wearing a sombrero.] |
| Ryan: | My mom also makes the best salsa. |