Ryan Quotes From The Office

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Ryan: Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding?
Pam Beesly: Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you.
Ryan: Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now.
Pam Beesly: A hundred dollars now, for sure.
Ryan: Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift--
Pam Beesly: Yeah, no. I'll uh--the hundred. I'll just take the hundred.
Ryan: Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now?
Pam Beesly: How sure is this?
[cut to talking head]
Pam Beesly: The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. [thinks for a moment] Don't tell Jim.
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Ryan: [to Kelly picking up brownies] You're taking two?
Kelly: Yeah, um, but one of them is for Toby.
Michael Scott: [smiling] Yeah! Why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica.
Kelly: Um, I'm just gonna hand it to him right now.
Michael Scott: Okay. [laughing] Weirdo.
Jim Halpert: Why's that- why's that weird?
Michael Scott: She said she's going to give it to him right now. [snorts]
Jim Halpert: She's probably going to.. 'cause they sit next to each other.
Michael Scott: Yeah they used to.
Jim Halpert: [Jim stares into the camera then at Michael] Toby works here.
Michael Scott: Oh! Can you imagine?
Jim Halpert: Oh no. You don't know.
Michael Scott: I don't know. What?
Jim Halpert: You should probably just meander back there. Take a look. See if he's... if he's back.
Michael Scott: [taking it as a joke] Dare I? [laughing] You know what, I'm going to. For old time's sake!
[Michael walks into the annex and no one's there]
Michael Scott: [to camera] Great practical joke, Jim. You got me to go to the annex.
[Michael turns around right into Toby]
Michael Scott: [screaming] NOO GOD! NO. GOD. PLEASE. NO. NO!!! NO!!! NOOOOOO!!!-- [cuts to opening credits]
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Ryan: Blogs are out but people are texting each other "no more animals."
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Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight Shrute: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.
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Michael Scott: Ed's Tires. Why don't you tell them, that we have fewer clients, so that we can spend more time with each of them. Also, [reading from a Rolodex card] try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women.
Pam Beesly: I'm not going to do that.
Michael Scott: That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan?
Ryan: I can get there.
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Ryan: I'm not saying I had a meteoric rise. But I did. And if they knew how much I was paying for my haircut now, they wouldn't be giving me a nuggie. It was two hundred dollars.
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Ryan: Ever since I've gotten clean there's something about fresh morning air that... just really makes me sick.
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Michael Scott: [on the phone] This is Michael Jackson calling from Wonderland.
Ryan: You mean Neverland?
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Ryan Howard: [trying to pick up a woman] I was the youngest VP, in company history--
Meredith: More recently, he worked in a bowling alley. Tell her one of your bowling alley stories!
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Ryan Howard: What you gotta do, is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls. Chiklis style.
Michael Scott: Yeah. The Commish.
Ryan Howard: Yes but, Chiklis, Shield style. Not Commish style.
Michael Scott: Yeah yeah. The Shield.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons