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Actually not. It was really so-so. [holds up stopwatch to Dwight] I mean I like all the crazy monsters and stuff, you know like Klingons and Wookies and all that but-- Sorry was, there something you wanted to add Dwight?
Is that anything like the original Battlestar Galactica.
You what's weird? It's practically a shot for shot remake.
Really? Huh. Cool.
The story's kind of bland. It's about this guy named Dumbledore Calamazin and he has to return the ring back to Mordor.
He has not stopped working... for a second. At 12:45, he sneezed, while keeping his eyes open, which I always thought was impossible. At 1:32 he peed. And I know that because he did that in an open soda bottle, under the desk, while filling out expense reports. And on the flip side, I've been so busy watching him that I haven't even started work. It's exhausting, being this vigilant. I'll probably have to go home early today.
How do you tell someone, that you care about, deeply, I told you so. Gently? With a rose? In a funny way? Like it's a hilarious joke? Or do you just let it go. Because saying it would just make it worse. [...] Probably the funny way.
Ok. Elephant in the room! Let's talk about it. Do I regret what I did? Of course I do. Even though it was an amazing ride and I'll give you an example. Anyone see Survivor, Season 6? [Dwight raises his hand] Anyone know Joanna on that show? In New York city, I hooked up with a girl that looked exactly like that. Indistinguishable. So.
It's been a little tense. People are suspicious of me, and my best friend in the office won't even talk to me. Turns out being the morality police does not make you popular. I should know because in middle school I was the hall monitor and the kids used to stuff egg salad in my locker. I was just hoping middle school was over.
Let's start discussing those questionaires that you filled in this morning. 'It is wrong to make personal calls during work hours.' Now some of you marked that you Very Strongly Agree. Ideally you would've selected Totally Agree.
I thought Very Strongly Agree sounded stronger than Totally Agree.
Corporate would like to emphasize that, ideally, you would all totally agree with that statement.
Well, I think that we can all totally agree that Holly is fantastic.
I will be honest with you, that car ride did not go well. And that was not my fault. The only reason I am standing out here right now is because I don't want to take the elevator with her. And I'm holding onto her leftovers. [throws leftovers in trash]
[whispering seriously to Holly] People, expect a lot from these meetings. Laughter, sudden twists, surprise endings. You need to meet Robin Williams and M. Night Shamalhin. You need to be Robin Shamahin.
I just have to get through the binder.
You're- just- you're kinda losing them.
Yeah. Don't, think about the stakes. They'll freak you out.
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