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[misinterpreting Jim's joke]
The hell you will! I worked for the last boss for 15 years. According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years if I want to keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, which I intend to.
[In a high-pitched voice]
Oh no, Stanley, you'll live forever.
Well, I manage my department and I've been doing that for several years now. And God, I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Your department's just you, right?
Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage.
Great. Um, can we just... [Motions like he wants to get this over with]
What was that?
We just have a lot of serious candidates to geth through today so...
Am I not a serious candidate?
What do you want me to say? I mean there's a line of qualified people out there, we have a video cd from England, are we all just gonna pretend to... [Looks at Jim and Toby] Okay, um, what are your weaknesses?
In my family, you don't really go out and get things. If you want something, you write it on a list, and then the housekeeper goes out and gets it on Wednesdays and Fridays. So I don't know. I guess you could say that this job is on my list. And we'll see what Rosa comes back with.
You see, I sit across from a man. I see his face. I see his eyes. Now does it matter if he wants a hundred dollars worth of paper or a hundred million dollars of deep sea fishing equipment? Don't be a fool. He wants respect. He wants love. He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. There is no such thing as a product. Don't ever think there. is. There is only sex. Everything is sex. You understand what I'm telling you is a universal truth, Toby.
First, I'll take down the cubicle walls. Singular transparency. There'd be no titles. Everyone has the same job. Same goes for me. I'll take your job by rejecting the title. Everyone will be known for their accomplishments.
That's very interesting. Um, I feel like there might be a conflict there. And if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with?
Oh... Yeah... Scratch everything from before. I'll tell you what. Go the other way. More cubicles. More division. Everyone is somebody's boss. And that person can fire the person below them. And once a month, the lowest person. [Imitates cutting throat] Buh-bye.
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