The Office Season 7 Quotes - Search Committee

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Stanley: [misinterpreting Jim's joke] The hell you will! I worked for the last boss for 15 years. According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years if I want to keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, which I intend to.
Ryan: [In a high-pitched voice] Oh no, Stanley, you'll live forever.
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Pam Beesly: Hello, this is... the client.
Creed: It's Creed. FYI I'm starting my own paper company, looking to poach some chumps. You in?
Pam Beesly: Yes.
Creed: [laughing] Cool. Let's keep this on the QT, I don't want you to be a dead mama jama.
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Meredith: I just want, for once, a smart, professional, decisive, well-hung man in his 40's.
Jim Halpert: Hey hey hey.
Meredith: Okay fine. Uh, the guy with the tiny penis. Are you happy? Let's hire that guy!
Andy: She may have a point there. Would a small penis work? Small to moderate.
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Creed: Okay. Team Building. On this side of the room: Stanley, Phylis, Jim, Ted, Elroy. And this side of the room: Pam, Meredith, Phylis, Creed.
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Ryan: How do I know that Robert is gay? He liked my Facebook photos at 3 o'clock in the morning.
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Creed: Boboddy, boboddy. What does the first B stand for?
Pam Beesly: What are we doing?
Creed: We're making acronyms. Okay. What does the first B stand for?
Kevin: Um... Business.
Creed: I... like it!
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Dwight Schrute: Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it.
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Kevin It's good. It's just that I wish the puppets would talk more about the alphabet. Not for me, but if any kids are watching..A..B and so forth..you know..elemeno...P...F...
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Dwight Schrute: Do you even know anything about paper? How it's made?
Interviewee: I saw an episode on how they make paper on Sesame Street.
Dwight Schrute: Get out!
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Kelly: Well, I manage my department and I've been doing that for several years now. And God, I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way.
Jim Halpert: Your department's just you, right?
Kelly: Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage.
Gabe: Great. Um, can we just... [Motions like he wants to get this over with]
Kelly: What was that?
Gabe: We just have a lot of serious candidates to geth through today so...
Kelly: Am I not a serious candidate?
Gabe: What do you want me to say? I mean there's a line of qualified people out there, we have a video cd from England, are we all just gonna pretend to... [Looks at Jim and Toby] Okay, um, what are your weaknesses?
Kelly: I don't have any, ass****.
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Creed: Beautiful morning at Dunder MIfflin. Or as I like to call it, Great Bratton.
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Andy: In my family, you don't really go out and get things. If you want something, you write it on a list, and then the housekeeper goes out and gets it on Wednesdays and Fridays. So I don't know. I guess you could say that this job is on my list. And we'll see what Rosa comes back with.
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Interviewee: You see, I sit across from a man. I see his face. I see his eyes. Now does it matter if he wants a hundred dollars worth of paper or a hundred million dollars of deep sea fishing equipment? Don't be a fool. He wants respect. He wants love. He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. There is no such thing as a product. Don't ever think there. is. There is only sex. Everything is sex. You understand what I'm telling you is a universal truth, Toby.
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Ryan: Little advice. Take a day off from the whole Jim schtick. Try caring about something. You might like how it feels... James.
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Ryan: I want an outsider.
Jim Halpert: Perfect. There are several outside candidates that we think would be really...
Ryan: No, I mean an ousider. Like someone on the margins of society. Who doesn't see things like we do. Like a homeless person.
Pam Beesly: A homeless person. Really? A homeless person.
Ryan: No, you're right, Pam. Let's just leave them to the welfare system. Let that handle it.
Pam Beesly: No, I want you to say that you think the best person to be or new manager is a homeless person.
Ryan: Let me guess who you want Pam. Rachael Ray, the ladies of The View.
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Interviewee: This job. Oh yeah, I'll get it. Jo's an old friend. I think I'm her best friend. She's not my best friend.
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Interviewee: First, I'll take down the cubicle walls. Singular transparency. There'd be no titles. Everyone has the same job. Same goes for me. I'll take your job by rejecting the title. Everyone will be known for their accomplishments.
Jim Halpert: That's very interesting. Um, I feel like there might be a conflict there. And if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with?
Interviewee: Oh... Yeah... Scratch everything from before. I'll tell you what. Go the other way. More cubicles. More division. Everyone is somebody's boss. And that person can fire the person below them. And once a month, the lowest person. [Imitates cutting throat] Buh-bye.
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Gabe Lewis [to Andy Bernard in the interview] Shut up about the sun!!
5 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons