The Office Season 3 Quotes - Business School
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| Dwight Schrute: | I don't have a lot experience with vampires, but I have hunted warewolves. I shot one once. But by the time I got to it, it had turned back into my neighbor's dog. |
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| Michael Scott: | A boss is like a teacher. And I am like the cool teacher, like Mr. Handell. Mr. Handell would hang out with us and he would tell us awesome jokes and he actually hooked up with one of the students. And then like 12 other kids came forward.. it was in all the papers. Really ruined eighth grade for us. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing. |
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| Michael Scott: | There are four kinds of business. Tourism, food service, railroads and sales. And hospitals slash manufacturing. And air travel. |
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| Michael Scott: | What is the most aspiring thing I ever said to you? |
| Dwight Schrute: | 'Don't be an idiot.' Changed my life. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Extraordinary events call for extraordinary actions. Will you form an allegiance-- |
| Creed: | Sure. |
| Dwight Schrute: | To use sudden violence-- |
| Creed: | Okay. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Do you have the tools to turn a wooden mop handle into a stake? |
| Creed: | What size? |
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| Dwight Schrute: | If a vampire-bat was in the U.S. It would make sense for it to come to a 'sylvania.' Like Pennsylvania. Now that doesn't mean that Jim's gonna become a vampire, only that he carries that vampiric germ. |
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| Michael Scott: | Will they throw their hats, you think? |
| Ryan: | What? |
| Michael Scott: | A lot of time at a school, or naval academy, after a rousing speech the crowd will throw its hats high into the air. |
| Ryan: | You understand no ones graduating. |
| Michael Scott: | I know, I know. I'm just saying if they did throw their hats I've got a great line for that. 'May your hats fly as high as your dreams.' |
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| Jim Halpert: | I'm sorry what did you say? So weird. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What? What's so weird? |
| Jim Halpert: | The bat. I mean, I know I felt it bite me but look there's no mark. I feel so tingly... So strangely powerful... [pause] Oh well. |
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| Michael Scott: | You cannot learn from a book [starts tearing out pages from textbook] Replace these pages with life lessons, and then you will have a book that's worth it's weight in gold. I know these are expensive, but the lesson is priceless. |
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| Toby: | Oh this looks great. I'd love to be there but my daughter's play is tonight. Dammit! You know, one of the other parents will probably videotape it. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, no, you should go. |
| Toby: | Well, it's important to support local art, you know? What they do is not art. |
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| Ryan: | If you bring your boss to class it automatically bumps you up a full letter grade. So, I'd be stupid not to do it... right? |
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| Michael Scott: | You know what else is facing five Goliaths? America. Al-Qaeda. Global warming. Sex predators. Mercury poisoning. So do we just give up? |
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| Ryan: | It wasn't personal. |
| Michael Scott: | Business is always personal. It's the most personal thing in the world. |
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| Michael Scott: | [hanging up Pam's painting] It is a message. It is an inspiration. It is a source of beauty. And without paper, it could not have happened... Unless, you had a camera. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Goodbye, Jim, and good luck. Jim is on a path now, an eternal journey, and I wish him well. But I have a destiny in this realm, specifically in the kitchen. |
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