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[yelling at Kevin] Listen, Dummy! It's not that hard! All you have to do is take the numbers from the sales report and type them into a master spreadsheet. A GD monkey could do it. I do not understand why you can't do it.
No! You DO NOT talk to him like that.
But he's an idiot.
He is not an idiot--
Thank you, Holly.
--he is mentally challenged. But he's doing a super job here.
Jim. I wanted to apologize, for how I treated you last year. I lost sight of myself, and now that I've quit the rat race I realize there's so much more to live than being the youngest VP in the company's history. I've even started, um, volunteering. Giving back to the community.
That's great. [shakes Ryan's hand] You're talking about your court-ordered community service?
I don't need a judge to tell me to keep my community clean.
This is what I'm gonna do. I'm going to randomly select three names, and these three people will get liposuction. Ughhhh. Stanley, Phyllis, Kevin. And you will be responsible for your own medical bills.
I swallowed a tapeworm last night. It's going to grow up to three feet inside of me and then it eats all my food so that I don't get fat. And then, after three months I take some medicine and then I pass it. Creed sold it to me. It's from Mexico.
No, no, no. I don't wanna hear moaning. This is a good day. You guys accomplished something big. You lost a ton of weight, literally. A lot of weight. And I don't care what any stupid scale says, you guys are all gigantic losers.
Why haven't I proposed yet. Uh, actually, Pam and I talked about it. And we just decided that, um, well we didn't want to spend the first three months of our engagement apart. And Pam's always said she doesn't want a long engagement. Something in her past I guess. No really sure of the whole story but something about a guy who used to work here...
I wanted to say I'm sorry, for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid-twenties and I was.. going through a lot of stuff. I think I never really processed 9/11. I want you to know I've changed.
I happen to be losing weight on my own for my own reasons. The truth is... I have lost a little of my speed, a little of my fire. Here's what I used to look like. [holds up photo] Look at those biceps. We were fightin' the power and eating whatever we wanted.
[looking very sick] I'm on the third day of my cleanse diet. All I have to do is drink maple syrup, lemon juice, cayenne pepper and water for all three meals. Um, I just bought some bikinis online too so.. I'm gonna look amazing.
Ronnie was blagh. Things were at an all time sad here. But then I got an email from Ryan, that he was coming back to town, and I called the temp agency and I told them, I will pay you any amount, just give me Ryan Howard, give him to me. I want him. I need him.
I went zip lining my third day in Costa Rica. I guess the harness wasn't strapped in completely right. I broke my neck. And... I've been in the hospital five weeks now. I still haven't seen the beach. It's nice to have visitors.
Just so you know, I don't care where we get married. I'll marry you right here in this building. I'll marry you in the parking lot... I'll marry you in the eye of a hurricane, in the middle of a snowstorm on top of a monsoon. All I care about is that we're going to spend the rest of our lives together.
Jimbo. [talking outside of the Mens room) Did you see Holly's butt?
Nope, I didn't. You know why?
Because most of the time, friends don't talk about other friends butts.
Yeah, I know.
But what have you learned about her?
I learned that she broke her left leg twice in one year. I learned that she's allergic to sesame seeds. I learned that she has read Beds and three times. And I have learned that her butt refuses to quit!
Well, I tried. [walks into bathroom, Michael follows]
[from inside the bathroom] You have to agree. It's insane. Insane!
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