Disposable cameras are fun although it does seem wasteful and you don't ever get to see your pictures. If it's an important event that you want to remember, I recommend using a real camera. But, I don't care if I forget today.
Well the other night, I was sitting at the table eating my penis--I mean peas. That was weird. Ah that's weird. I think it all stems from the fact that I was... I was probed. By an alien life force. An A-L-F. ALF. You know I might've actually been probed by ALF. You might think he's a puppet. You never see the lower half but there's a lower half.
Now that I own the building I'm looking for new sources of revenue. And a daycare center...? Muahahahahahahahaha... [pause] Well I guess it's not an evil idea it's just a regular idea but, there's no good laugh for a regular idea.
Apparently there is a famous Hollywood movie from the 1980's, Beautiful Girl.
Pretty Woman. [to camera] Pretty Woman.
Apparently it's one of the best revenge stories of all time in which this sex worker who is the protagonist. That can't be right. Andy, how does it--
No no no I wanna hear you tell it.
Ok, um... the sex worker is denied service at a fancy store because she does not look wealthy. She later returns dressed in all the trapping of extravagant wealth. But instead of shopping--
Julia Roberts goes into the store and she's like "I was in here yesterday" and people wouldn't help me and the shopgirl goes "oh" and then Julia Roberts goes "you girls work on commission right?" And the girl's like, "yeah." And Julia Roberts goes--
Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores. Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learn more from Dr. Seuss than Dr. Freud. Earth. You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. [off-camera] I donno just use the best one.
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