The Office Season 6 Quotes - The Lover
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| Toby: | Hey Jim! |
| Jim Halpert: | Not now Toby! My God! |
| Michael Scott: | Get the hell out of here, idiot. |
| Toby: | [walking away] What did I do. |
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| Michael Scott: | I was probably gonna break up with her anyway. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh. That's too bad. |
| Michael Scott: | Pam it is very complicated. There are a lot of moving parts here-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Sounds complicated. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah but I mean if you really like this person then you should see where it goes. |
| Michael Scott: | You want me to be happy? |
| Pam Beesly: | Of course. |
| Michael Scott: | Part of the problem is, she is the mother of a close friend of my. More than a friend, a co-worker. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh. Gossip! Who is it? Who is it! |
| [Michael stares at Pam] | |
| Pam Beesly: | [still excited] Who is it Michael? |
| [Michael nods] | |
| Pam Beesly: | Who... |
| Michael Scott: | It's okay. |
| Pam Beesly: | No no no no no. No. Oh my God! Oh my God! [walks out of the office screaming] Nooooooooooooo!! |
| [cut to talking head] | |
| Michael Scott: | That could have gone one of two ways. But I never expected her to get upset. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | You know, I really would've appreciated a heads up that you were into dating mothers. I would've introduced you to mine. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Ok as far as dinner tonight, cancel that. And please, for both of our sake's, never, ever, ever see her again. |
| Michael Scott: | I think you're underestimating Pam. I think more than anything she wants me to be happy. |
| Jim Halpert: | No. Not more than anything. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. I have a good thing with the mom. |
| Jim Halpert: | Don't call her the mom. |
| Michael Scott: | She's right on my way home from work. |
| Jim Halpert: | THEN TAKE A DIFFERENT WAY HOME MAN! |
| Michael Scott: | Alright! I'll take surface streets... |
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| Michael Scott: | Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going to get past this because I will! |
| Pam Beesly: | Mmmmmm! Yes! |
| Michael Scott: | Well that is not gonna happen! |
| Pam Beesly: | Then why'd you even offer! |
| Michael Scott: | 'Cause I assumed that you want me to be happy because I want you to be happy. |
| Pam Beesly: | Michael. Let me make this very easy for you. I COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. STOP DATING MY MOTHER! |
| Michael Scott: | You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder. |
| Pam Beesly: | What's that supposed to mean. |
| Michael Scott: | You know what it means. |
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| Michael Scott: | Hey, alright! You know what clearly I'm outnumbered here but could I just say one thing? Please? What is so wrong about me. I'm caring. I'm generous. [pause] I'm sensual. Is it really so horrible that I could possibly go out and find happiness. |
| Phyllis: | Good luck Michael. I hope you find what you're looking for. |
| Oscar: | Maybe you're right. Who are we to-- |
| Pam Beesly: | Shut up Oscar! What is wrong with all of you!? He is sleeping with my mother! |
| Dwight Schrute: | I don't think there's a whole lot of sleeping going on. |
| Michael Scott: | Let's get back to the matter at hand. |
| Pam Beesly: | Whatever. You know. Sleep with my mom, sleep with everyone's mom! |
| Ryan: | Whoa!! That's my mom you're talking about. |
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| Jim Halpert: | So, Dwight heard you were having a really rough day, so he generously offered to wash our car. |
| Pam Beesly: | Aww he did that for me? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yes. He did. You know what's nice? Night swimming in Bio Bay. Remember that older couple whose kids were also named Jim and Pam? |
| Pam Beesly: | [laughs] Yeah... Mmmm, say more nice things. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, we went on a Segway tour and we're awesome at it. Yes we are. And... Franken Beans! |
| Pam Beesly: | Maybe I'm overreacting. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah. Maybe. |
| Pam Beesly: | But I don't think I am. |
| Jim Halpert: | You're not. Nope. Nope... |
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| Michael Scott: | [on his cellphone] No, I'll talk to her. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. Alright. Bye, Pickle. [hangs up and walks into the conference room] Pamela Morgan Beesly you need to apologize to your mother right now. |
| Angela: | I'm sorry, I was told I have the floor. |
| Oscar: | Whoa hold on, hold on. What's going on? |
| Jim Halpert: | Nothing! Nothing at all. "It's all goood." |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology. |
| Michael Scott: | For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? |
| Pam Beesly: | Don't call my mother your lover! |
| Kevin: | Yes! That's what I'm talking about. |
| Andy: | That is not ok dude! |
| Michael Scott: | Ok, in my defence-- |
| Phyllis: | Disgusting. |
| Creed: | That's messed up man. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell! |
| Oscar: | You have no sense of boundaries, Michael. |
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| Michael Scott: | I don't need to be friends with Pam. I have plenty of female friends. My mom. Pam's mom. My aunt--although she just blocked me on IM. What's her face, from Quizno's? I see her four times a week. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Oh so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure. |
| Pam Beesly: | You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Where'd you get that mallard? |
| Kelly: | What the hell is a mallard? |
| Dwight Schrute: | THAT! |
| Kelly: | Oh! Professor Damond D. Duck! Jim gave him to me. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok. I gave that to him as a gift. I'm taking that back. |
| Kelly: | If you take it back I'll scream. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [reluctantly] I'll give you five bucks for it. |
| Ryan: | Twenty. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ten. |
| Ryan: | Deal. |
| [Dwight takes the mallard and walks away] | |
| Kelly: | You're so cool. |
| Ryan: | This reminds me, you owe me three bucks for gas. |
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| Oscar: | Pam, just for the record I think you're over-reacting a little bit. Your mom's old enough to make her own decisions. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, well, thanks Oscar. I was just wondering, how would you feel if Michael was sleeping with your mom. |
| Oscar: | My mother's in a wheelchair. |
| Pam Beesly: | Well he could still... I'm sorry about that. |
| [Pam starts walking away but turns around] | |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh could I just get you to sign this second page. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Hey! We brought back some Puerto Rican candy. |
| Erin: | Cocoliche! That's my favorite. |
| Pam Beesly: | Awesome! I'll leave it up here to everyone can enjoy it. |
| Erin: | Oh, um, let me just check with Michael first. |
| Pam Beesly: | [laughs] I think it'll be ok. |
| Erin: | [laughing] I think it will too but I'll just check with him though. |
| Pam Beesly: | Great. [starts to walk away] |
| Erin: | Oops! Sorry. [pushes the candy to Pam] Oops. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Volunteerism is important. Every weekend I volunteer at the local animal shelter and they need a lot of help down there. Last Sunday I had to put down a hundred and fifty pets by myself. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Don't tell Michael. |
| Jim Halpert: | I won't. But you will wash and buff our car. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Punishment fits the crime, I accept. |
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| Jim Halpert: | You're messing with me. |
| Michael Scott: | About what? |
| Jim Halpert: | You did not have sex with Pam's mom |
| Michael Scott: | Oh, big time. |
| Jim Halpert : | What kind of car does she drive? |
| Michael Scott: | She drives a green Camry . . . |
| Jim Halpert: | [bleep] |
| Michael Scott: | . . . and the seats go all the way down. ALL the way down. |
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