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The Office Season 4 - Dinner Party
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26
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| Michael Scott: | Man I would love to burn your candles! |
| Jan: | You burn it you buy it! |
| Michael Scott: | Oh good! I'll be your first customer! |
| Jan: | You're hardly my first. |
| Michael Scott: | THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!! |
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25
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| Michael Scott: | [after sipping wine] That is sort of an oaky afterbirth. |
| Jim Halpert: | What was that? |
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19
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| Pam Beesly: | What a cute bench. |
| Michael Scott: | Thanks, that's my bed. Jan has, uh, some space issues so I crawl up on that puppy |
| Jim Halpert: | Really? 'Cause, it seems pretty narrow... and short. |
| Michael Scott: | It's actually a lot bigger than it seems. Look at this. [lies down on bench] |
| Jan: | See? He fits perfectly. |
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18
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| Michael Scott: | That is a 200 dollar plasma TV you've just killed. Good luck paying me back on your zero dollars a month plus benefits salary, babe! |
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16
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| Michael Scott: | Alright here we go. This is gonna be fun. Ready? Alright, first name is Tom. |
| Jan: | No, no, no! No names! No rhyming! No sounds a-likes, you actually have to-- |
| Michael Scott: | Ok! Ok! You're getting into my head! First name is blank and he goes on a cruise. He goes on a Caribbean cruiseee. |
| Angela: | I don't know. |
| Jim Halpert: | Katie Holmes. |
| Michael Scott: | Bahhhhhh!! But he's married to her! |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh Dawson's Creek. |
| Michael Scott: | No! No, it has to be a real person, Jim, come on! Ok no no I'm gonna pass. Ahh, oh ok! Um, rhymes with Parnold Sporchzenegger. |
| Jan: | No rhyming! |
| Jim Halpert: | No really a rhyme... |
| Angela: | Another clue! Another clue! |
| Michael Scott: | Alright he's the Governor of California, he is The Terminator... |
| Angela: | Those aren't helpful-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Tom Cruise! |
| Michael Scott: | Noo-- |
| Andy: | Time! |
| Michael Scott: | Does anyone read the paper?? |
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16
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| Jim Halpert: | Michael and Jan seem to be playing their own separate game, and it's called, "let's see how uncomfortable we can make our guests." And they're both winning. So I am going to make a run for it. |
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14
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| Jim Halpert: | Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least... nine times and every time we've been able to get out of it. But, I gotta give him credit. He got me. Because... I'm starting to suspect there was no assignment from corporate. |
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| Michael Scott: | I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma tv. [camera pans out to show tiny screen attached to wall] Check it out. I actually hung this, on the wall, myself. Let me show you something: A lot of people in the room, you need more space [pushes the tv back an inch against the wall] Voila. Right into the wall. |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow. [Jim and Pam nod at each other] |
| Michael Scott: | Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this tv! |
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14
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| Jim Halpert: | You'll never guess. I just got a message from my landlord. Apparently my apartment flooded. Something with the sprinklers. |
| Jan: | Oh no! |
| Jim Halpert: | Pam we should probably get going to see the damage. |
| Michael Scott: | Well you don't know two of you to do that. |
| Jim Halpert: | [pause] That's... true, um. [pause] Dinner sounded delicious. Pam, see you at home? Thank you so much. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh Jim I don't think you're going to abandon this party here all by itself. |
| Jim Halpert: | No, 'cause everything I own is there. |
| Pam Beesly: | You can buy new stuff but you can't buy a new party! |
| Michael Scott: | That's true! That is a great point. Come on down here. Sit down, on the couch. We're your friends and we're not going to let you think about all your stuff being destroyed alright? |
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14
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| Michael Scott: | "Whatever I want." It's never whatever I want. When I wanted to see Stomp and you wanted to see Wicked, what did we see? |
| Jan: | We saw W-W-- |
| Michael Scott: | When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't wanna have kids? Who had is reversed back! Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person. And I bought the condo, to fill will children! |
| Jan: | I am so sorry that I don't wanna bring kids into this screwed up world. |
| Michael Scott: | I am sorry too. |
| Jan: | But look if you wanna have kids then fine! You win! Let's have a [bleep] kid! |
| Michael Scott: | Do you mean it? You wanna have a kid. |
| Jan: | I hate my life. |
| [Jan walks away] | |
| Dwight Schrute: | So, can we come in? |
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11
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| Pam Beesly: | I don't care what they say about me I just wanna eat. Which I realize is a lot to ask for. At a dinner party! |
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10
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| [Michael gives Pam his jacket] | |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, thank you. |
| Michael Scott: | You're welcome. |
| [long pause] | |
| Jan: | I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The, uh, sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it babe or should I tell it? |
| Michael Scott: | I don't like that story, babe. |
| Jan: | Come on! It's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck. |
| Michael Scott: | Stop! Stop it! I mean.. I like ice cream, ok? Sue me! Oh- no, don't! I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue! She loves lawsuits. You know, honey, that door was extremely clean, and it looked invisible. |
| Jan: | You are so right. You are SO right! Because before I lived here the glass was always covered with smudges and- and I moved in and I cleaned it and I guess that makes me the devil! |
| Michael Scott: | [laughing hysterically] You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! I'm burning. Help me. |
| Angela: | You shouldn't joke about that. |
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9
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| Andy: | Tuna! Sup, Tuna. Gonna have some tuna for dinner? [to Pam] I bet you're sick of Tuna, right? Probably have Tuna every night. Tuna! |
| Jim Halpert: | Alright. |
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9
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| Dwight Schrute: | I know you love beet salad. I've seen you eat it many times. |
| Angela: | The thought of popping one of your beets into my mouth makes me want to vomit. |
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9
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| Pam Beesly: | This is the best burger I've ever had, babe. |
| Jim Halpert: | Babe, I should have told you but, I did something bad. |
| Pam Beesly: | Mm? |
| Jim Halpert: | I stole this. [holds up Hunter's CD] For you, babe. |
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9
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| Jan: | You should see our bathroom after Michael takes a bath. Whoo! But I don't have to tell you, Pam. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh. Yeah. W- what? |
| Jan: | Oh don't tell me that he's really changed since you guys have dated. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh are- are you joking? |
| Jan: | Michael told me a little bit about it but I see the way you look at him. |
| Pam Beesly: | I have never, ever dated, or wanted to do anything resembling dating Michael, ever. Not ever, not now, not then, not now, not ever, ever. |
| Angela: | I've noticed how you look at him at the office. |
| Jan: | Um-hmm. |
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9
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| Dwight Schrute: | Uh, what seems to be the problem officers? |
| Police officer: | Not now Dwight. |
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9
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| Dwight Schrute: | Michael can come home with me. |
| Michael Scott: | [turns to Jim and Pam] Jim? Pam? |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, my apartment's on fire-- |
| Pam Beesley: | [whispering] Flooded. |
| Jim Halpert: | ...flooded. |
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8
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| Dwight Schrute: | Michael! Uh what time should I be arriving? |
| Michael Scott: | Dwight it's couples only. And besides I only have 6 wine glasses. So it will be me and Jan and Pam and Jim. And Angela and Andy! |
| Andy: | Heyo! |
| [look of horror on Dwight's face] |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
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7
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| Michael Scott: | I think we should celebrate. How 'bout you, Pam, mi casa, little dinner dancing, drinks. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, I-- |
| Michael Scott: | [quickly] You said you didn't have plans. [looking up at Jim] That's what you said. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Would you write down your e-mail 'cause I have just so many questions. |
| Dwight's Babysitter: | E-mail? |
| Jim Halpert: | Never mind. |
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| Andy: | [with bouquet of flowers] These are for you. |
| Jan: | How thoughtful! |
| Andy: | Except for one flower, which is for my flower. [takes a rose for Angela] |
| Angela: | What am I supposed to do with this? |
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| [playing Hunter's song on CD] | |
| Hunter: | [singing] You took me by the hand... made me a man... that one NIGHT! You made everything ALRIGHT! So raw, so right, all night, alright, oh yeah! Oh yeahhh... So raw, so right, all night, alright, oh yeah! |
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| Michael Scott: | So Jim I noticed you checking out Jan's candles. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh no. She just put it in front of my face. |
| Michael Scott: | Did you know, that candles are the number one fastest growing product in the scent-aroma market? Two billion dollar a year industry. And for only ten thousand dollars YOU could become a co-owner of Serenity by Jan. What do you think about that? |
| Andy: | Thought about it. I'm in. |
| Jim Halpert: | I'm sorry are you really trying to get us to invest in Jan's company? |
| Michael Scott: | [shaking his head] I'm sorry. |
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| Pam Beesly: | I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me? Michael's former lover. |
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| Jim Halpert: | So, how do you guys know each other? |
| Dwight's Babysitter: | I was his babysitter. |
| Pam Beesly: | And now you guys are, dating? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Purely carnal. That's all you need to know. |
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6
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| Jan: | You have a preference, babe? Upstairs first? |
| Michael Scott: | Totally your call babe. |
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| Michael Scott: | I also built this table. |
| Jim Halpert: | What is that? Chestnut? |
| Michael Scott: | No I think that is either pine or nortic cheery. |
| Jan: | Pine. |
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6
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| Pam Beesly: | Oh, I- I can help, starting dinner if you need it. |
| Jan: | Oh no, no, no, it's just the Osso Bucco needs to braise for about three hours. Everything else is done! |
| Pam Beesly: | Three hours from now or three hours from earlier, like 4 o'clock? |
| Jan: | You know, Pam, in Spain, they often don't even start eating until midnight. |
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| Jan: | Babe can you just like, reallly woah, you know, I'm just like realllly-- |
| Michael Scott: | [chuckling] What? What! |
| Jan: | Can you just simmer down? Seriously. |
| Michael Scott: | No, I'm just making people laugh. |
| Jan: | No. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. I was watching Jim's face-- |
| Jan: | I was watching Jim's face. |
| Michael Scott: | --and he was laughing. |
| [camera pans to Jim staring forward blankly] | |
| Jan: | Nooo smile. |
| Michael Scott: | Look at him. He's smiling. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Hello! |
| Jan: | What are you doing here? |
| Dwight Schrute: | We came here to eat dinner and to party. This is a dinner party right? |
| Pam Beesly: | Awesome! |
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5
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| Jan: | So this is the master bedroom and uh, these walls they used to be like white, like an asylum. So I wanted it to be softer so I had it painted it an eggshell white. |
| Michael Scott: | Guess what? White and eggshell white are exactly the same colour. Exactly! |
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| Jan: | It was between the, uh, neon beer sign and the "dun-dies," so I said "Honey, keep the trophies." |
| Michael Scott: | Oh, honey. I have the best, trophy, right, here. Aside from the dundies. |
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| Michael Scott: | [whispering] Pam. I hope she didn't do anything to the food. |
| Pam Beesly: | Like- like what? |
| Michael Scott: | I can't prove it, but I think she might be trying to poison me. |
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| Michael Scott: | She threw a Dundee at my plasma tv. |
| Police officer: | Do you want to press charges? |
| Michael Scott: | Will she get in trouble? |
| Police officer: | Yes. She'll be charged. |
| Michael Scott: | I'll take the fall for this one. |
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| Michael Scott: | Mmmmm... this is BS! This is BS. Why are we here? I am gonna call corporate. Enough is enough! I'm-- God, I'm so mad. [picks up the phone in his office] This is Michael Scott, Scranton. Well we don't wanna work! No, we don't! It's not fair to these people! These people are my friends and I care about them! We're not gonna do it! |
| [Michael walks back into the office] | |
| Michael Scott: | Everybody I just got of the horn with corporate. And, uh, basically I told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. Go enjoy your Friday. |
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| Michael Scott: | So? What have you been doing? |
| Jim Halpert: | Let's see, since I saw you an hour ago? |
| Michael Scott: | [chuckles] Yeah. |
| Jim Halpert: | I have been getting ready and then driving over here. |
| Michael Scott: | Well we've been doing pretty much the same thing... |
| Jim Halpert: | Really. |
| Michael Scott: | Except driving. |
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| Jan: | So sorry about this God-awful carpet, we are still a work in progress here. |
| Michael Scott: | Well that's... |
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| Michael Scott: | Check that out. Smell that? |
| Pam Beesly: | Uh-huh. |
| Michael Scott: | As you can smell there's a lot of different odors going on in here. |
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| Pam Beesly: | So you have an office and a workspace. |
| Jan: | I do, yeah. I just- I cannot create in the same space that I conduct business. I'm sure you're the same with your doodles. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, he tried to set up my Tivo for me, but then I did have audio for a week. |
| Michael Scott: | If you ever need any help, I'm just a phone call away. |
| Jan: | I bet you are. |
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| Jan: | Hey babe! How 'bout we take the beer sign down until our guests leave and then we can discuss it. |
| Michael Scott: | No, no. I'm gonna leave it up. I think it ties the whole room together. |
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| Jan: | This, is my office. |
| Michael Scott: | Yep. Never been used. |
| Jan: | Not super exciting. |
| Michael Scott: | No. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
3
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| Dwight Schrute: | Does it bother me that I wasn't invited to Michael's dinner party? [starts crying] |
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1
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