I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma tv. [camera pans out to show tiny screen attached to wall] Check it out. I actually hung this, on the wall, myself. Let me show you something: A lot of people in the room, you need more space [pushes the tv back an inch against the wall] Voila. Right into the wall.
Wow. [Jim and Pam nod at each other]
Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this tv!
"Whatever I want." It's never whatever I want. When I wanted to see Stomp and you wanted to see Wicked, what did we see?
We saw W-W--
When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then, when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure? Who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't wanna have kids? Who had is reversed back! Snip snap snip snap snip snap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person. And I bought the condo, to fill will children!
I am so sorry that I don't wanna bring kids into this screwed up world.
I am sorry too.
But look if you wanna have kids then fine! You win! Let's have a [bleep] kid!
I'm so, so sorry for the temperature in here. The, uh, sliding glass door shattered. It's actually a really cute story. Do you wanna tell it babe or should I tell it?
I don't like that story, babe.
Come on! It's a cute story. Michael ran through the sliding glass door because he thought he heard the ice cream truck.
Stop! Stop it! I mean.. I like ice cream, ok? Sue me! Oh- no, don't! I shouldn't say that jokingly because she will sue me. She loves to sue! She loves lawsuits. You know, honey, that door was extremely clean, and it looked invisible.
You are so right. You are SO right! Because before I lived here the glass was always covered with smudges and- and I moved in and I cleaned it and I guess that makes me the devil!
[laughing hysterically] You are! She is! She is the devil! I'm in hell! I'm burning. Help me.
Michael has asked Pam and me to dinner at least... nine times and every time we've been able to get out of it. But, I gotta give him credit. He got me. Because... I'm starting to suspect there was no assignment from corporate.
[singing] You took me by the hand... made me a man... that one NIGHT! You made everything ALRIGHT! So raw, so right, all night, alright, oh yeah! Oh yeahhh... So raw, so right, all night, alright, oh yeah!
Did you know, that candles are the number one fastest growing product in the scent-aroma market? Two billion dollar a year industry. And for only ten thousand dollars YOU could become a co-owner of Serenity by Jan. What do you think about that?
Thought about it. I'm in.
I'm sorry are you really trying to get us to invest in Jan's company?
Mmmmm... this is BS! This is BS. Why are we here? I am gonna call corporate. Enough is enough! I'm-- God, I'm so mad. [picks up the phone in his office] This is Michael Scott, Scranton. Well we don't wanna work! No, we don't! It's not fair to these people! These people are my friends and I care about them! We're not gonna do it!
[Michael walks back into the office]
Everybody I just got of the horn with corporate. And, uh, basically I told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. Go enjoy your Friday.
[to a sobbing Jen] Honey, nobody in the complex likes you, but you have made this place look great. You can't touch anything, which is really a strange way to feel at the place that you live. You have made this home a house.
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