Kevin Quotes From The Office
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| Oscar | I don't get the statement you're making with that costume. |
| Kevin | The statement that I making, Oscar, is that I kinda look like Michael Moore. |
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| Angela: | [cats meowing in background][on Nanny-Cam] Where is that bad cat? Oh, you know who you are. Excuse me, Petals, I'm looking for Mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. Bad, bad cat. Do you hear me? Bad. Yeah, you were bad. No, you look at me when I talk to you. Do you hear me, Mr. Ash? You look at me. 'Cause I'm talking to you right now. |
| Oscar: | [chuckles] |
| Kevin: | [snickers] |
| Angela: | [meows like a cat, then hisses] |
| Kevin: | This is getting weird. |
| Oscar: | Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue? [Angela licks cat, meows] |
| Kevin: | Ohhh... |
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| Red Cross woman: | So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing? |
| Michael Scott: | No, Rose, they are not breathing. And, they have no arms or legs. |
| Red Cross woman: | No that's not part of it. |
| Michael Scott: | Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean what kind of quality of life do we have there? |
| Kevin: | I would wanna live with no legs. |
| Michael Scott: | How 'bout no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin, you don't do anything. |
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| Kevin: | So, Jim. You're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah. I guess technically, Kev. You're right. |
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| Kevin: | Andy, I'm not Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam. |
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| Kevin: | [to camera] Are you kidding me?! Pam and Jim are totally hooking up! All they do is smile. They're just keeping it a secret! [to Oscar] Right? |
| Oscar: | I don't know. There is no evidence of intimacy. |
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| Kevin: | Now do the Swedish Chef |
| Andy: | Um, I'm not familiar, what province is he from? |
| Kevin: | He lives on Sesame Street dumbass. |
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| Kevin: | I love their sandwiches. |
| Jim Halpert: | I love their sandwiches too. |
| Kevin: | Their bread is real good. |
| Jim Halpert: | Their bread is very good. |
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| [Creed walks into the office dressed as the Joker] | |
| Oscar: | Whoa! Awesome! |
| Creed: | Let's put a smile on that FACE! [walks away] |
| [Kevin stands up from behind his desk, also dressed as the Joker] | |
| Kevin: | Damn it, Creed! I've been up since four! |