Kevin Quotes From The Office

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Oscar I don't get the statement you're making with that costume.
Kevin The statement that I making, Oscar, is that I kinda look like Michael Moore.
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Kevin: [to Ryan] Not so fast, 'fire guy.'
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Kevin: Put everything back in the vending machine, except the fruit.
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Angela: [cats meowing in background][on Nanny-Cam] Where is that bad cat? Oh, you know who you are. Excuse me, Petals, I'm looking for Mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. Bad, bad cat. Do you hear me? Bad. Yeah, you were bad. No, you look at me when I talk to you. Do you hear me, Mr. Ash? You look at me. 'Cause I'm talking to you right now.
Oscar: [chuckles]
Kevin: [snickers]
Angela: [meows like a cat, then hisses]
Kevin: This is getting weird.
Oscar: Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue? [Angela licks cat, meows]
Kevin: Ohhh...
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Red Cross woman: So, assessing the situation. Are they breathing?
Michael Scott: No, Rose, they are not breathing. And, they have no arms or legs.
Red Cross woman: No that's not part of it.
Michael Scott: Where are they? You know what? If we come across somebody with no arms or legs do we bother resuscitating them? I mean what kind of quality of life do we have there?
Kevin: I would wanna live with no legs.
Michael Scott: How 'bout no arms? No arms or legs is basically how you exist right now, Kevin, you don't do anything.
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Kevin: So, Jim. You're gonna live in the same house that you used to pee the bed in.
Jim Halpert: Yeah. I guess technically, Kev. You're right.
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Kevin: Andy, I'm not Jim. The only way that I'm Jim is in the movie version when Jim sees what his future would be like if he never met Pam.
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Kevin: [to camera] Are you kidding me?! Pam and Jim are totally hooking up! All they do is smile. They're just keeping it a secret! [to Oscar] Right?
Oscar: I don't know. There is no evidence of intimacy.
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Kevin: Now do the Swedish Chef
Andy: Um, I'm not familiar, what province is he from?
Kevin: He lives on Sesame Street dumbass.
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Kevin: I love their sandwiches.
Jim Halpert: I love their sandwiches too.
Kevin: Their bread is real good.
Jim Halpert: Their bread is very good.
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[Creed walks into the office dressed as the Joker]
Oscar: Whoa! Awesome!
Creed: Let's put a smile on that FACE! [walks away]
[Kevin stands up from behind his desk, also dressed as the Joker]
Kevin: Damn it, Creed! I've been up since four!
Next Page of Kevin quotes
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons