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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 6 - Gossip

The Office Season 6 Quotes - Gossip

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (18 Comments)
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41
likes
Michael Scott: I hate, hate being left out. Whether it's not being picked for a team... or being picked for a team and then showing up and realizing the team doesn't exist. Or that the sport doesn't exist! I should've known. "Poop ball?"
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34
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Michael Scott: How long have you known about the pregnancy? A week? A month? A year?
Jim Halpert: Michael we only told our parents last week.
Michael Scott: Did you pee on a stick?
Jim Halpert: I did. It was inconclusive.
Michael Scott: You should've told me.
Pam Beesly: You're right. We should have realize that you are an equal part in this.
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32
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Pam Beesly: We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant.
Jim Halpert: Well with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy... The yackety yacks in this office would have a field day.
Pam Beesly: And we don't want them at the wedding thinking Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun.
Jim Halpert: Wait there's not going to be a shotgun?
Pam Beesly: No.
Jim Halpert: No shotgun. 'Cause that changes everything.
Pam Beesly: Can't back out now, Halpert.
Jim Halpert: What are you gonna do about it? There's no shotgun so. "Free at last free at last."
Pam Beesly: No, keep it up.
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26
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Creed: If I can't scuba then what's this all been about?? What am I working toward?
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22
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Jim Halpert: This is parkour. Internet sensation of 2004. And it was in one of the Bond films. It's pretty impressive. The goal is to get from point A to point B as creatively as possible so technically they are doing parkour, as long as point A is delusion and point B is the hospital.
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20
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Kevin: [irate] Who's been saying there's another person inside of me, working me with controls!?
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18
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Michael Scott: [holding up Pam's ultrasound] That, is the inside of your vagina!
Pam Beesly: Not how it works.
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17
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Michael Scott: The one true rumor--and this is going to ruin this person's life--is that--
Jim Halpert: Is that Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first, I thought, oh she has a new bra with padding, but then I thought, Pam doesn't neeed padding. It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim Halpert: Ok. Thank you.
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17
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Dwight Schrute: Who's the father?
Pam Beesly: Jim.
Dwight Schrute: How far along?
Jim Halpert: Four months?
Creed: Who's the OB/GYN?
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16
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Andy: Let me give you a scenario. I'm at like a beach cabana, and Brad Pitt approaches. Tries to lean in and kiss me. I would definitely resist, like at first. But if he was persistent, I might give in a little bit just to see what it felt like. Would I push him away? How hard? Like, what if he's really aggressive?
Oscar: If you resisted Brad Pitt a little bit he would still.. need to get to you?
Andy: This is not real Brad Pitt, this is like, in my--this is my fantasy. Or not a fantasy it's like what I'm--it's just a scenario.
Oscar: Wow I--I wish I could help you. I don't--you might be gay, you might be gay.
[cut to talking head]
Oscar: What exactly is my responsibility here? To comfort insecure heterosexual men? That can't possibly fall to me.
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16
likes
Dwight Schrute: Michael. You told people that I use store-bought manure. When I showed you where my manure comes from. Hm?
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14
likes
Michael Scott: Oh my God! Wait a second-- do people often say they're going on sales calls and then go someplace else? Because that's not cool.
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14
likes
Andy: This is not the first time rumours about me being gay have come up. Twice before actually. Just a weird coincidence. A little too weird. Almost makes you wonder if it's not a coincidence at all! Whoa! Which it is, of course. But it makes you wonder.
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13
likes
Intern: Is there anything else I can do?
Dwight Schrute: Yes, um... [looking around the office] See those files behind Kevin's desk?
Intern: Mm-hmm?
Dwight Schrute: Go put them in random order.
Intern: Ok...
Dwight Schrute: Then come back here for your next assignment, concerning their order.
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13
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Andy: Tuna how come you never try to set me up?
Jim Halpert: Oh I don't really do that. But Pam might have some friends though.
Andy: Women friends?
Jim Halpert: Yep.
Andy: Not guy friends.
Jim Halpert: Are you interested in her guy friends?
Andy: No. I mean for the record I prefer women.
Jim Halpert: Ok.
Andy: But off the record I'm kind of confused.
Jim Halpert: Really.
Andy: Yeah the evidence is kind of stacked against me, I feel like.
Jim Halpert: Well you gotta figure this out.
Andy: Yeah. Right? How.
Jim Halpert: Have sex with a woman.
Andy: Right-o!
Jim Halpert: And a man. Then compare.
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12
likes
Erin: Kelly has an eating disorder?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Erin: She always eats my lunch.
Michael Scott: Anorexia. She's an anorexitic.
Erin: We should do something.
Michael Scott: Nothing can be done. We just have to tell everybody and hope for the best I guess.
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12
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Michael Scott: Ok, I made it all up.
Andy: Even the fact that I'm gay?
Michael Scott: Yes.
Andy: [relieved] Yes!
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11
likes
Michael Scott: How do you untell something? You can't. You can't put words back in your mouth. What you can do, is spread false gossip... so people think that everything that's been said is untrue. Include that Stanley is having an affair. It's like the end of Spartacus. I have seen that movie half a dozen times and I still don't know who the real Spartacus is. And that is what makes that movie a classic whodunnit.
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10
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Angela: You know a baby conceived out of wedlock is still a bastard?
Pam Beesly: What?
Angela: Want me to say it again?
Pam Beesly: Why did that come into your brain.
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9
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Michael Scott: I am going to tell her that I need to redecorate my condo and I need her help. We will haggle about money and I will back down. And then I won't talk to her until this whole Cynthia thing has blown over.
Pam Beesly: Michael please don't--
Michael Scott: [picks up phone] Hey what up Cynthia? [covers the mic in shock for a minute] Just hang on a second Cynthia.
[Jim hangs up the phone]
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7
likes
Pam Beesly: This is the last day of our summer interns. It's been nice. We haven't had interns in a while. Ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. He didn't do anything sexual, he just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. It was just easier for Corporate to shut down the program.
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7
likes
Michael Scott: You'll never guess what I know.
Dwight Schrute: [typing] Ok. Let me finish this thought.
Michael Scott: Eric likes Megan!
Dwight Schrute: [still typing] He most definitely does. He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. She finally said yes. They went on a group date the other night, apparently it went very well.
Michael Scott: How do you know this?
Dwight Schrute: People tell me things. I guess I have a face you can trust. I think it's because of my low cheekbones. [finishes typing] Ok, what is it? What can't I guess??
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6
likes
Michael Scott: If somebody doesn't tell me I'm going to start screaming.
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5
likes
Jim Halpert: You have to stop this.
Michael Scott: Do you hear that Stanley's having an affair!
Jim Halpert: I did. From you. You gotta stop telling people.
Michael Scott: Okay, I get it. You feel out of the loop and you feel sorry for yourself and it's really sad because everyone thinks you're a loser.
Jim Halpert: Do you even know if it's true. Do you have any idea. Because, you might be ruining his life.
[long pause]
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4
likes
Michael Scott: Hey Stanely, where you going big guy? Up to no good?
Stanley: I'm meeting a client do you have a problem with that?
Michael Scott: No, no, no, no. I just had a quick question for you, I am casting a movie and I'm looking for a woman who can dance, a beautiful woman. Do you know anybody?
Stanley: Good-bye. [walks out]
Michael Scott: Pays five-million dollars! Nudity required.
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3
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Michael Scott: So what is the scuttlebutt? Anybody hear anything?
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3
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[whispering]
Michael Scott: Did you hear Pam is pregnant?
Meredith: Really?
Michael Scott: Yeah!
Meredith: She is gonna hate being a mom.
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2
likes
Kelly: Then what's the one true rumor? I mean, we deserve to know.
Andy: Michael... Am I gay?
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1
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Dwight Schrute: [Talking to interns, 2 male 1 female] Look at the intern to your left. Now to your right. [interns do nothing] One of you will do exceedingly well in business, just unlimited potential. One of you will make a living, and nothing more. And one of you [looks directly at Megan] will make a great mother. It's up to you to choose which you want to be.
18 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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