1737 quotes from The Office!
Season 4 Quotes
Season 3 Quotes
Season 2 Quotes
Season 1 Quotes
Office Quote Search
The Office Season 3 - Initiation
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
14
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | Brain teaser. I have two coins totaling 15 cents. One of them is not a nickel. What are they? |
| Ryan: | A dime and a nickel. |
| Dwight Schrute: | ...No I said one of them is not a nickel- |
| Ryan: | But the other one is, I've heard that before. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Okay. A man and a son get into a car accident, they're rushed to the hospital. Doctor says, 'there's no way I can operate on this boy-- |
| Ryan: | Because he's my son. The doctor is the boy's mother. |
| Dwight Schrute: | A man is found hanging from the ceiling- |
| Ryan: | He stepped on a block of ice, hung himself and the ice melted. |
| Dwight Schrute: | A hunter- |
| Ryan: | It's a polar bear because you're at the North Pole. |
| Dwight Schrute: | DAMMIT! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
13
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | Final question, young Ryan Howard. What is Michael Scott's greatest fear? |
| Ryan: | Um, lonliness. Maybe women. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wrong... he's not afraid of anything. Also, I would have accepted snakes. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
11
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed, in you. |
| Ryan: | I don't think you know what you're saying. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Smells pretty bad doesn't it? |
| Ryan: | Uh huh. |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's called bull-crap. And a client can smell it from a mile away. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
9
votes
vote
| [on phone] | |
| Pam Beesly: | What time is it there? |
| Jim Halpert: | 'What time is it here?' Um, we're in the same timezone. |
| Pam Beesly: | Ah, yeah, right. |
| Jim Halpert: | How far away did you think we were? |
| Pam Beesly: | I donno. It felt far. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah.. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
7
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | Michael always says, 'K-I-S-S, keep it simple, stupid.' Great advice, hurts my feelings every time. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
6
votes
vote
| Jim Halpert: | I have a question for you. |
| Pam Beesly: | What? |
| Jim Halpert: | How many words per minute does the average person type? |
| Pam Beesly: | I type ninety. |
| Jim Halpert: | Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn't even type ninety. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
6
votes
vote
| Ryan: | What was that? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Pay no attention to the spirits that haunt this hallowed ground. |
| Ryan: | Is that your cousin Mose? |
| Dwight Schrute: | ...Yes. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
5
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | What is the greatest danger facing Dunder Mifflin? |
| Ryan: | Outsourcing and consolidation of competition. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wrong. Flash floods. What is the true cause of Robert Mifflin's suicide. |
| Ryan: | Depression? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wrong. He hated himself. What is the DHARMA Initiative? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
4
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Phyllis, Stanley, I want you to switch desks, I am going to reorganize and restructure the physical layout of the office to maximize everything! I think we're getting a lot done, don't you? On paper, at least, and we are afterall a paper company, are we not? Are we not? Are we not? Are you with me? Are you with me? Thank you very much. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
4
votes
vote
| Pam Beesly: | Once a year they bring in a little cart and they give away free pretzels. It's really not a big deal. [pause] To some people it is. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
4
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | Mose is my cousin, and he lives here. He will always be my best friend. Unless things go well with Ryan today in which case I won't hang out with Mose so much anymore. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
4
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Never, ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
4
votes
vote
| Pam Beesly: | It's weird. Jan used to treat Michael like he was a ten-year-old, but lately, it's like he's five. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
4
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | I am very excited. Ryan hasn't made a sale yet. But more importantly, he hasn't made an ally. Is he gonna be a slacker, loser wise-ass like Jim was? Or is he gonna join the Dwight army of champions? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
3
votes
vote
| Ryan: | They really didn't like me. |
| Dwight Schrute: | They did not. They didn't have to say it to your face. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
3
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Hey, what time is it? |
| Pam Beesly: | Twenty past five. |
| Michael Scott: | A.M. or P.M.? |
| Pam Beesly: | P.M. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh good. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
1
vote
vote
| Andy: | Hey Big Tuna, can I talk to you about something? |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah sure. |
| Andy: | [pause] Can you stand up and talk to me over there? |
| Karen: | That's it? |
| Andy: | I am acting my heart out up here. |
| Karen: | That's all you could come up with? |
| Andy: | You asked for my help! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
1
vote
vote
| Michael Scott: | What's going on? Do we have a deal? Deal or no deal. Let's make a deal. So what is the deal? |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!
1
vote
vote
| Michael Scott: | Yeah, nothing. How was your day? |
| Jan: | I don't care how your day was, Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | Pfffft. Well. Okay, I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up-- |
| Jan: | Tell me what you did yesterday. |
| Micheal Scott: | I worked. And then I went home to my condo, and Carol came over, and we, had, sex. That what you wanna hear? |
1
vote
AD
Have something to say about the Initiation episode?
See what others are saying!
Join the discussion in the Conference Room!
The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office.
It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when taking content from this site.
It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when taking content from this site.