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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 2 - Office Olympics

The Office Season 2 Quotes - Office Olympics

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  • Conference Room (8 Comments)
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41
likes
Michael Scott: I'm an early bird and I'm a night owl, so I'm wise and have worms.
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33
likes
Dwight Schrute: I have been Michael's number two guy for about five years, and we make a great team. We're like one of those classic famous teams. He's like Mozart and I'm like Mozart's friend. No, I'm like Butch Cassidy and Michael is like Mozart. You try and hurt Mozart, you're gonna get a bullet in your head, courtesy of Butch Cassidy.
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28
likes
Pam Beesly: C'mon Angela don't you have a game?
Angela: I have one, yes.
Pam Beesly: Well let's play. What is it?
Angela: I call it 'Pam Pong'. I count how many times Jim gets up from his desk and goes to reception to talk to you.
Pam Beesly: We're friends.
Angela: Apparently.
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28
likes
Pam Beesly: The thing about Jim is... when he's excited about something- like the Office Olympics- he gets really into it and he does a really great job. But the problem with Jim is that he works here so... that hardly ever happens.
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26
likes
Dwight Schrute: A thirty year mortgage at Michael's age essentially means that he's buying a coffin. If I were buying my coffin, I would get one with thicker walls... so you couldn't hear the other dead people.
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25
likes
Michael Scott: Why are you playing the national anthem?
Jim Halpert: Um, 'cause your condo is in America.
Michael Scott: Oh.
[origami cranes move on a line behind them]
Michael Scott: What the hell is that?
Jim Halpert: Those are the doves.
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24
likes
Realtor: Are we ready to sign some papers?
Dwight Schrute: Actually, no. We have a couple of questions, uh, about the neighborhood?
Bill: It's, it's very safe, it's very clean. Also, it's very accepting of all lifestyles.
Realtor: It's a very gay friendly neighborhood.
Michael Scott: Oh. Good. That's good. It's good to be accommodating of... that.
Dwight Schrute: [to Michael] Let's go check out the master bedroom.
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23
likes
Kevin: Sometimes we play 'who can put the most M&Ms in their mouth'.
Angela: You play that.
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21
likes
Michael Scott: Nobody likes beets, Dwight. You should grow something everybody does like. You should grow candy.
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21
likes
Dwight Schrute: [putting on sunglasses] Look... Terminator.
Michael Scott: I do not understand what you spend your money on.
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21
likes
Ryan: Breakfast. I got you a sausage, egg and cheese biscuit.
Michael Scott: Oh yummy yummy. Thank you Ryan.
Ryan: What was the thing you needed me to come in early for?
Michael Scott: Uh... the sausage, egg and cheese biscuit.
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20
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Pam Beesly: Every so often, Jim dies of boredom. I think today it was the expense reports that did him in. And, uh, our deal is it's up to me to revive him.
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16
likes
Dwight Schrute: Actually, I do own property. My grandfather left me a sixty-acre working beet farm. I run it with my cousin, Mose. We sell beets to locals stores and restaurants... it's a pretty nice little farm. [pause] Sometimes teenagers use it for sex.
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16
likes
Pam Beesly: You see Dwight's coffee mug?
Jim Halpert: Uh-huh.
Pam Beesly: Sometimes when he's not here, I try to throw stuff in it.
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16
likes
Oscar: Kevin and I play this paper football game when Michael's out.
Kevin: Or when we're bored.
Jim Halpert: [uncovers the score-keeping sheet] Oh my God! Wait, this goes back two years.
Kevin: We're bored a lot.
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15
likes
Michael Scott: Where are all the hot people? I was told that there would be all these attractive singles.
Realtor: Who told you that?
Michael Scott: As far as I can tell, I'm the best looking person here. [later] There's a basic principle in real estate that you should never be the best-looking person in the development. It's just historic common sense because if you are, then you have no place to go but to go down.
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15
likes
Jim Halpert: I really like the paper-triangle-flicking-and-hitting-things game.
Kevin: We call it Hateball.
Jim Halpert: Why?
Kevin: Because of how much Angela hates it.
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14
likes
Jim Halpert: This scented candle...andle...andle, that I found in the men's bathroom...room...room, represents the eternal burning of competition... or something.
Kevin: It smells like cookies.
Jim Halpert: Yes it does. Yes it does my friend.
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13
likes
Dwight Schrute: Thank God. It was nice of him to offer, but I live in a nine bedroom farmhouse. I have my own crossbow range. It's the perfect situation for me. Although two bathrooms would have been nice. We just have the one... and it's under the porch.
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11
likes
Dwight Schrute: Hey I have an idea. You know that extra bedroom? If the whole girlfriend thing never happens, that's where the nurse could live.
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11
likes
Michael Scott: This, my friends, is the master bedroom. Check out the cathedral ceilings. Those are like seventeen feet high. We have cable readiness. Right there. I am going to totally pimp this place out. I am going to put a surround sound system. I am going to put a plasma screen right against this wall.
Dwight Schrute: Oh. Terrible idea.
Michael Scott: I'm putting my bed right over here.
Dwight Schrute: No, no, no, no, no. This is a shared wall. Neighbor throws his wife into the wall, plasma screen hits the floor. Totally smashed.
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10
likes
Jim Halpert: Okay, we will be competing for gold, silver and bronze yogurt lids.
Pam Beesly: Now the bronze are really blue, and they're also the back side of the gold. So no flipping, okay? Honor system.
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9
likes
Dwight Schrute: Hey look cool, carpenter ants!
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7
likes
Dwight Schrute: Please? I'm always the guy you rely on at work.
Michael Scott: Well this isn't about work. This is closing on a condo. It's completely personal.
Dwight Schrute: So you're taking a personal day?
Michael Scott: Ahem-- Except that. It's about my living arrangement, and as boss, I need to have a living arrangement in order to do work.
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7
likes
Michael Scott: Oh, most honorable Pamera! ...Not offensive because that's the way they talk in movies.
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6
likes
Dwight Schrute: [on renting Michael's spare bedroom] Question. My grandparents left me a large number of armoires.
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5
likes
Jim Halpert: You have what is the national sport of Icelandic paper companies-and I'm blanking on the name, could you help me out, Pam?
Pam Beesly: Jim, they refer to it as.....Flonkerton. In English, box of paper snowshoe racing.
Jim Halpert: Fair enough, but I like Flonkerton.
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3
likes
Dwight Schrute: [with ear to wall] Oh, these walls are paper thin.
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2
likes
Dwight Schrute: [with ear to wall] Man. These babies are thin.
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1
like
Michael Scott: [from deleted scenes] This... smells of fraud. This whole thing just kind of stinks.
8 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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