Random Quotes from The Office

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Dwight Schrute: [to Jan on the phone] Pull over at exit 40. There is a Liz Claiborne outlet. I know you like that store. Go inside and shop until I can meet you.
Jan: How do you know I like that store?
Dwight Schrute: Many of your blouses are Claibornes.
Jan: How do you know that?
Dwight Schrute: It's part of my job.
Jan: No, it's not. It's officially, not.
Dwight Schrute: Noted.
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Michael Scott: I need something kind of embarrasing, you know for fun, inside?
Dwight Schrute: She had a hysterectomy.
Michael Scott: Which one is that again?
Dwight Schrute: It's where they remove the uterus.
Michael Scott: Oh, God. Dwight, NO! I'm trying to write something funny here. What am I going to do with a removed uterus?
Dwight Schrute: It could be kind of funny.
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Kevin: Why did you get it so big?
Michael Scott: A. That's what she said, and B. I wanted it to be impressive, biggest day of the year deserves the biggest tree of the year.
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Kelly: Can you stop micro-managing? I know how to do this.
Dwight Shrute: What are you guys doing?
Kelly: This girl was really rude to me at the mall, so I created a fake IM account from a hot guy at her high school, and now I'm trying to make her anorexic.
Ryan: Tell her everyone in homeroom thinks she's fat.
Kelly: That is so good.
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[from deleted scenes]
Dwight Schrute: On the high seas Captain Jack's the leader, on the land it's Michael. On the ramp up to the boat, I was a little conflicted.
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Dwight Schrute: The eyes, are the groin of the head.
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Gabe: Andy do you like being alone with me right now?
Andy: No, this is horrifying.
Gabe: No, I don't like being alone with me either.
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Pam Beesly: Tomorrow I start a three month design program at the Pratt Institute in New York. I will be a little fish in the Big Apple... What up 2-1-2!
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Michael Scott: GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!
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Angela: Dwight and I have a contractual agreement. To procreate five times, plain and simple. And should he develop feelings for me? Well, that would be permissible Under item 7c, clause 2... so I would not object.
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Michael Scott: Yeah, nothing. How was your day?
Jan: I don't care how your day was, Michael.
Michael Scott: Pfffft. Well. Okay, I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up--
Jan: Tell me what you did yesterday.
Micheal Scott: I worked. And then I went home to my condo, and Carol came over, and we, had, sex. That what you wanna hear?
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Charles Miner: Jim! Pam!
Pam Beesly: Heyy.
Jim Halpert: Hey Charles.
Charles Miner: Hey, nice day, huh? Must be nice to get a rest from all your rest. [walks away]
Jim Halpert: I don't get it. He's not even my boss anymore.
Pam Beesly: Do you want me to beat him up for ya?
Jim Halpert: No I shouldn't ask you to do stuff like that. You should just do it.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons