Random Quotes from The Office

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Dwight Shrute: Angela versus Isabelle. Height, advantage Isabelle. Birthing hips, advantage Isabelle. Remaining childbearing years, advantage Isabelle. Legal obligation, advantage Angela.
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Dwight Schrute: It's me! I'm the bobblehead! Yes!
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[after Kelly kisses Andy]
Andy: That was weird.
Meredith: No it ain't. We all saw the valentine you gave her.
Andy: I don't even know what that card said.
Meredith: Believe me, if I got that card, we'd be in the bathroom doing it right nowww.
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Kevin: It's Michael versus Stanley and it is the clash of the Titans. In one corner you have Michael and he is mad and then in the other corner you have Stanley and he's mad! So that's about it.
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Pam Beesly: You do realize we can't have liquor at the party.
Michael Scott: Yeah, I know... damnit. Stupid corporate... wet blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.
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Micheal Scott I just got off the phone with David Wallace and he says that you and I should get to know each other better, and I agree. So what I would like you to do is tell me something you’ve never told anybody before.
Charles Miner No.
Micheal Scott Come on, what’s your wife's name? Where did you work before you came here?
Charles Miner Sattacoy Steal.
Micheal Scott Beautiful. See African Americans have such a rich history of unusual names.
Charles Miner No, I worked at a company called Sattacoy Steal.
Micheal Scott You're not from paper?
Charles Miner No.
Micheal Scott Does David know this?
Charles Miner Yeah, he knows, he just wants a good manager.
Micheal Scott Oh well that actually is an excellent segway into really what is my only point. That is, I dont need to be managed, Charles. If you wanna pick up some tips and observe here for other branches and bring them there then that is all good. Jan would mostly come by when we she was super horny. And Ryan would come by when he would visit his parents and do laundry, so, are we clear?
Charles Miner That's not how I plan on doing this.
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[at the arena]
Michael Scott: Carol? She sold me my condo. Hey! Was this place on the market or?
Carol: Ah, no, I don't just sell real estate.
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Jan: Surely you cannot be serious?
Michael Scott: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley. Airplane.
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Kelly: What about 'second base'? Like, if Michael said he got to second base with you, does that mean, like, you closed a deal?
Jan: Excuse me?
Kelly: I mean that's a baseball term, right?
Jan: I don't know what Michael was talking about.
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[after Michael returns to the bar]
Jim Halpert: Everything ok?
Pam Halpert: Why are you wearing a hat now?
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Michael Scott: Who is going to tell us the latest dirty joke? Who is going to tell us what you watched on television last night?
Meredith: I am fine!
Michael Scott: Was John Belushi fine? Was Bob Hope fine?
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Dwight Schrute: Through simple concentration I can both raise and lower my cholesterol.
Pam Beesly: Why would you raise your cholesterol?
Dwight Schrute: So I can lower it.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons