Random Quotes from The Office

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Jim Halpert: Beer me five.
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Dwight Schrute: [to Jim] What is that, what are you supposed to be?
Jim Halpert: I'm three hole punch version of Jim. Because you can have me either way: plain white Jim, or three whole punch.
Phyllis: That's great.
Dwight Schrute: Yeah well look. What about me?
Phyllis: What are you, a monk?
Dwight Schrute: I am a Sith Lord... [Phyllis looks unimpressed] Oh big deal, three round pieces of paper taped to a shirt, this cost me 129 dollars!
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Michael Scott: Who's seen Titanic?
Jim Halpert: I'm not really sure what movie you''re talking about. Are you sure you've got the title right?
Pam Beesly: I think you're thinking of 'The Hunt for Red October.'
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Oscar: The long term problem is bad investments, that they need to dump. The short term problem is the company has no cash and there's no where to get it.
Michael Scott: Okay, Oscar. I don't need the whole enchilada just the bullet points.
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Michael Scott: The Extreme Home Makeover show can come in and re-do a house in one hour. If you guys were on their crew, you would be fired like that!
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Oscar: Go on. Kiss each other already.
Kevin: Suck it Oscar. This must kill you.
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Jim Halpert: Meredith was the perfect choice to play the head of the company... Her lunch break lined up with our appointment with Danny, and... That's it. That's really all we were looking for.
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Jim Halpert: I have a question for you.
Pam Beesly: What?
Jim Halpert: How many words per minute does the average person type?
Pam Beesly: I type ninety.
Jim Halpert: Shut up. Mavis Beacon doesn't even type ninety.
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Ryan: I wanted to say I'm sorry, for treating you bad the past couple years. I was in my mid-twenties and I was.. going through a lot of stuff. I think I never really processed 9/11. I want you to know I've changed.
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Andy: Hey Tuna, check it out. Tuna sandwich. Just like you! [takes a big of his sandwich as Angela walks over and passionately kisses Andy]
Angela: Now, I have to take care of a legal issue.
[cut to talking head]
Andy: Was that hot or what?
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Andy: So unfair. Even if I thought that our printers killed baby seals, I would not be a whistleblower. The Bernards, for generations, have silenced whistleblowers. It's how we made all our money. Woody Guthrie wrote a song about us. [singing] "Old mister Bernard, old mister Bernard, who have you silenced today."
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: They're wrong, you are creative. You are damn creative. Each and every one of you. You are so much more creative than all the other dry, boring morons that you work with.
Jim Halpert: Who are you talking to, specifically?
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons