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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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[singing to the tune of American Pie]
Michael Scott: Bye, bye, Miss Chair Model Lady / I dreamt that we were married and you treated me nice / We had lots of kids / Drinking whiskey and rye / Why'd you have to go off and die? / Why'd you have to go off and die...
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Kelly: I'll tell you one thing, I am not going to be one of those women shlepping her kids around in a minivan.
Jan: Great, uh-huh?
Kelly: I want an SUV... with three rows of seats.
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Michael Scott: Do I have permission to invite Carol?
Jan: No- ah, geez Michael--
Michael Scott: I'm sorry it was just the first girl that popped into my head. I'll find somebody that I haven't slept with.
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Oscar: Sorry I yelled.
Pam Halpert: You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar: There's no theater in that.
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Michael Scott: Now, I can't pay for your college. But you don't have to go to class, to be in class. Online classes are a viable option to a traditional college experience. [unzips suitcase] And the best way to access those courses is with your own personal laptop. Which is rendered useless, without batteries. And I have one for each of you.
[the entire room erupts with outrage]
Michael Scott: Hold on! Hold on! Hold on! Hold on.
[the room quiets]
Michael Scott: They're lithium!
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Michael Scott: Did you learn that on the streets? Oh, I'm sorry...
Stanley: No it's okay, I did learn it on the streets, on the ghetto, in fact.
Michael Scott: No kidding...
[later, to the camera]
Stanley: It's all about my bonus.
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Angela: I don't back down. My sister and I used to be bestfriends, and we haven't talked in 16 years, over some disagreement I don't even remember. So, yeah, I'm pretty good.
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Pam Halpert If he comes out distract him.
Kevin We need a warning signal.
Jim Halpert We don't need a warning signal Kevin we can see him right there.
Kevin We do!
Jim Halpert I promise you we don't need a warning--
Kevin WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING! WARNING!
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Pam Beesley: Ok Michael. You know what, I might have a name for you.
Michael Scott: Oh really. What's her name? Burger King?
Pam Beesley: No. She's really nice and sweet. You guys might actually get along.
Michael Scott: I don't.. I don't think I'm ready-- is she hot?
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Andy: Who's that?
Phyllis: She's out of your league, Andy.
Andy: For your information I have been with lots of beautiful women.
Phyllis: [surprised] Sexually?
Andy: This conversation is over.
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Packer: Quick query, Halpert.
Jim Halpert: No way.
Packer: Still queer?
Dwight Schrute: Packer.
Packer: You can't put me down. Too strong!
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael's slide: A Michael Scott Joint
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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