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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: This is oil, from the gland of an otter. Keeps their fur water resistant, as well as traps heat. Now I need you to lie still for an hour.
Phyllis: An hour? I can't stay here an hour. [starts to get up]
Dwight Schrute: Oh whoa whoa girl. Whoaaa. Whhhhoa.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
30
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Michael Scott: Alright let me ask you this, tell me if you think this is creative. When I was five, I imagined that there was such a thing as a unicorn. And this was before I had even heard of one, or seen one. I just drew a picture, of a horse, that could fly over rainbows, and a had a huge spike in its head. I was five! Five-years-old. Couldn't even talk yet.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
45
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Kelly: Dwight get out of my nook!
Pam Beesly: That's what she said! That's what she said! That's what she said!
Jim Halpert: [pause as he looks at the camera] Nice one.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Andy: So Tuna when we get in there let's do a really good job okay?
Jim Halpert: Did that really need to be said?
Andy: Well not everything a guy says needs to be said. Sometimes it's just about the music of a conversation.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
1
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Angela Martin: My doctor wants me to gain weight.
Michael Scott: If you gain weight, you will die.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Michael Scott: My branch is absorbing the Stamford branch, or as I like to put it, 'my family is doubling in size'.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: I'll do your laundry for a month! For a year!
Michael Scott: I have a laundry machine!
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
4
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Michael Scott: "Battleship" got me through my parents' divorce. "Operation" got me through my vasectomy.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Pam Beesly: So many memories in this old gym: Pretending to have PMS so I didn't have to play volleyball. Pretending to have PMS so I didn't have to play basketball. [pause] Those were the days.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
17
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Michael Scott: I'm going in for a procedure today.
Oscar: Is everything ok?
Michael Scott: Yeah. It's routine. I'm just a little bit scared.
Oscar: I'm sure everything will be fine. What's the procedure if you don't mind my asking?
Michael Scott: It is a colonoscopy.
Oscar: Ok.
Michael Scott: In your experience, what should I be expecting, in terms of sensation. Or, emotions. [pause] Is there anything I can do to make it more pleasurable for me or for Dr. Shandri. My main concern is should I have a safe word?
Oscar: Yeah. [walks out of the office]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Robert California Here's what it is, it's a doodle. Some people doodle at work when they let their mind run. They draw houses, penises. Funny how the houses are always colonials and the penises are always circumcised, don't you think? Well, I doodle too, but I'm not an artist so I draw words and lists.
Andy That is fascinating...[Robert erases his list and rewrites] and, by the way, I'm so glad I asked. People were just sort of-- Did you just move my name?
Robert California Might as well have been sketching a cube.
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Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Roy: [to Pam] Trust me. Tip it my way or you're sleeping in the car.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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