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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

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Jim Halpert: Before me stands your co-worker, Dwight Kurt Schrute. Dwight show 'em all sides, turn around. Now today we need your help turning Dwight into a gentleman.
Andy: A gentleman, who is a rich snob, who will go into shopping malls and drop huge amounts of cash on clothes.
Stanley: Is he still doing this boycott?
Jim Halpert: No this is instead of the boycott.
Kelly: Your shirt and tie are disgusto-barfo.
Jim Halpert: Agreed.
Dwight Schrute: Really?
Oscar: Maybe something not so monochromatic. Not so matching.
Dwight Schrute: Wait less matching to appear more rich?
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Gabe: Is this job really about "the money" for you Jim? I mean, isn't this where you fell in love?
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Ryan: We could sell, but why think so small? We can just get a couple more people involved, and really do this thing our way.
Michael Scott: You and me baby!
Ryan: New investors are key though, that's actually why I came in today.
Michael Scott: Don't you work here full-time?
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Michael Scott Excuse me, everyone... SEX!! Now that I have your attention—
Stanley You still don't have our attention.
Michael Scott It involves your money.
Stanley Ok, now you have it.
Kevin You had me at sex.
Michael Scott Pervert.
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[talking about Pam and Jim's wedding]
Kelly: Here's the deal. I really wanna go, but I'm not gonna go if Ryan doesn't go, 'cause it's kind of a waste of time... That came out wrong. It would be awesome if you could get him to come, because I'd really like to be there to support Jim.
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Executive: Did you shout "fire," causing a panic?
Dwight Schrute: Yes I shouted fire. I shouted many things. I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building so you can imagine my frustration, as safety officer, when nobody would heed of, would heeded, heeded of--
Michael Scott: Headed of--
Dwight Schrute: When no one would take headed of my instructions.
Michael Scott: Heed. Take heed.
Dwight Schrute: I don't see my co-workers--
Michael Scott: Take heed of--
Dwight Schrute: --heeding this. Right now.
Executive: Right what?
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Michael Scott: Hello. May I have everyone's attention please. Gabe has instructed me to hand out the leads. So I am going to give the leads to, King Creed.
Phyllis: What are you...
Michael Scott: And to King Meredith!
Stanley: They're not salespeople!
Michael Scott: And to King Angela. Because today we are all kings. And queens. [pats Oscar on the back]
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Kevin: I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hotdogs. That's all I've ever wanted.
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[at Michael's condo]
Michael Scott: Would you like some French toast?
Pam Beesly: Yes please.
Michael Scott: What shape?
Pam Beesly: ...square is fine?
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Michael Scott: I'm not a bad news person I bring good news! Like when I promised those kids I'd pay for college!
[Stanley cracks up]
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Dwight Schrute: Can we steer away from gay people? I'm sorry it's an orientation not a race. Plus, a lot of other races are intolerant of gays, so paradox...
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Dwight Schrute: [after being promoted, looking around the conference room] So I guess... this'll just be my office.
Michael Scott: No. No. Title change only.
Dwight Schrute: I'll have Pam send out a memo.
Michael Scott: No, no. Three month probationary period, let's just not... tell, anybody, about this right now.
Dwight Schrute: Just a formality?
Michael Scott: Absolutely. But not really.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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