Random Quotes from The Office

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Dwight Schrute: 'A real man makes his own luck,' Billy Zane, Titanic.
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Michael Scott: I love babies. I think they are beautiful in all sorts of different ways. I try to pick up a baby every day, if possible, because... it nourishes me. It feeds my soul. Babies are drawn to me and I think it’s because they see me as one of them, but, cooler, and with my life put together a little bit.
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Michael Scott: If there is one thing I hate more than the mafia is a liar. I wish the mafia would go out and kill all the liars. Bury them in my yard. And I wouldn't tell the cops a thing. Not that I would be lying per se but I would just get really quiet all of a sudden.
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Michael Scott: I'm going to start my own paper company.
Jim Halpert: You're starting your own paper company!
Michael Scott: Yeah!
Jim Halpert: Why?
Michael Scott: Can you believe it? 'Cause I know paper. I know everything there is to know about paper.
Jim Halpert: Do you know that the industry is in decline?
Michael Scott: Yeah! Oh God I practically invented decline, right?
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Michael Scott: What is that smell. Do you smell that? What is that? Is there a sulfur deposit under here.
Pam Beesly: Michael, stop.
Michael Scott: No I'm serious, we don't have to put up with--is it the dogs? You know what, we don't have to deal with this. I am going to Google sulphur maps.
Dwight Schrute: Michael it's Phyllis.
Michael Scott: ...No this is geological.
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Michael Scott: We are not always going to be there, to coddle your heart back, when it disappears to be working. What are you going to do when your heart stops?
Stanley: I would die.
Michael Scott: And you're okay with that?
Stanley: I'm okay with the logic of it.
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Jim Halpert: You cannot take the fall for him.
Dwight Schrute: He said he would do the same for me.
Jim Halpert: He can do the same for you. Right now. By getting fired instead of you. So what are you gonna do?
Dwight Schrute: I'm gonna go back to work... After I write you up for insubordination.
Jim Halpert: There he is.
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Michael Scott: So what we do, is we drive all day, and we stay in a hotel together at night.
Pam Beesly: Separate rooms.
Michael Scott: Well that goes without saying.
Pam Beesly: I'm gonna say it anyway.
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Micheal Scott: My guts and my heart, and while I eventually puked my guts out, I never puked my heart out. And I'm very, very proud of that.
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Angela: Hello Dwight. I've been thinking about, things. And I wanted to know if you would have dinner with me, tonight.
Dwight Schrute: Really?
Angela: Yes.
Dwight Schrute: I'll make a reservation. No, no. Let me cook for you. Cauliflower and noodles. Baked potato on the side.
Angela: I would prefer, a private place. See you after work.
[Dwight gives a sigh of relief]
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Jim Halpert: Ah it's cause I'm more of a player.
Charles Miner: Oh yeah?
Jim Halpert: You bet.
Dwight Schrute: Really, Jim. I had no idea you played soccer. Cause you never /ever/ talk about it.
Jim Halpert: Well I do. I play.
Dwight Schrute: You can be so modest sometimes.
Jim Halpert: Well maybe we should get back to work.
Dwight Schrute: Maybe you and Charles should kick the soccer ball around.
Jim Halpert: Maybe we will someday.
Dwight Schrute: Maybe you will tonight after work, whaddaya say?
Charles Miner: It's a great idea, Dwight!
Dwight Schrute: Oh ideas are just part, of what I bring, to the table. I don't try to be anything that I'm not.
Charles Miner: Whaddaya, Jim? Huh, you wanna play some soccer? Hey hey anybody else?
Dwight Schrute: Game on!
Charles Miner: See you on the field there bro. Ha ha can't waittt!
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Jim Halpert: This came out really well. There you go. [hands Dwight his new ID]
Dwight Schrute: This is humongous, I am not a security threat. And my middle name is Kurt, not Fart.
Jim Halpert: What did I write?
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons