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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

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Angela: You know this is a luncheon shower. Girls only.
Michael Scott: No problem. The guys are having a little shindig of their own in the warehouse. From 2:30 to 3:15. That is the only time that Bob was available. Sort of a guys' night out. A 'G-N-O' if you will. A 'gno.' Actually it's more of a guys' afternoon in. A G-A-I. A gay. Not-- not... it's uh, not gay. It's, uh, just uh, it's a bridal shower for guys. A guy shower. An hour long shower with guys.
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Darryl You know what you guys should do? Go to the bookstore at lunch. There's tons of cuties and it's easy to talk to them. 'Hey, what book is that? Cool, let's hang out tonight. Sex already? Whoa.'
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Michael Scott: Got almost everybody. So... Holly's my family now. [you see video of Michael getting into the cab, and driving off. As the cab leaves, Pam drives in] She's my family. The babies that I make with her, will be my children. The people that you work with, are just... when you get down to it... your very best friends. They say, on your deathbed, you never wish you spent more time at the office. But I will. Gotta be a lot better than a deathbed. [You see Michael getting out and entering the airport, and going through security] I actually don't understand deathbeds. I mean, who would buy that?
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Dwight Schrute: Trust me, you are going to want to heeeeeat, my words.
[cut to talking head]
Dwight Schrute: When held over heat, the invisible ink will reveal that everyone should meet at the warehouse immediately. Do not ask me where I got the invisible ink. [proudly] Urine. It was urine.
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Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar: Where?
Michael Scott: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?
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Dwight Schrute: Ah ha!
Kelly: Oh my God, what is wrong with you?
Dwight Schrute: Gotcha! Why are you late?
Kelly: It's none of your business actually. It's very medical and personal.
Dwight Schrute: Alright. You stop me when I've reached the diseased area.
[Points to her feet and then slowly up to her stomach and stops, waiting for her to say something]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Michael Scott: Don't forget to fill out those cards! My looove cards.
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Andy Bernard: Feel ya, dawg.
Michael Scott: Yeah? Do you?
Andy Barnard: Absolutely.
Michael Scott: What'd I say?
Andy Bernard: You said rrrrruh-duh-duh-duh-doo! Which is like [snaps] right on. Pam was like "bleh bleh bleh", and you were like "hyeah!" Psh! Nailed it.
Michael Scott: [under his breath] Oh. Oh, no.
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Trivia announcer Excuse me, sir, on the Dunder Mifflin A team... excuse me, sir... I'm sure you're just checking your Grindr account... [the gay crowd laughs] but you can't check smart phones during trivia. It's against the rules.
Ryan Howard Ok... I'm turning it off.
Trivia announcer Ok, you're not turning it off.
Ryan Howard I won't look at it...
Trivia announcer Sir...
Ryan Howard I can't, I can't not touch it.
Trivia announcer Ok, we're just gonna take it away. [Ryan hands over phone reluctantly] Thank you.
Ryan Howard [Gets up and leaves] I can't, I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. I want to be with my phone...
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Gabe [Answers phone] Hallway phone, Gabe Lewis speaking.
Robert California [On phone] Gabe, listen to me. Don't bother Bill with this, he has to go put out a fire on the homefront. Just wait twenty minutes, then I want you to listen to Dwight's pitch. Make him feel valued, make him feel heard.
Gabe Your wish is my command.
Robert California It's a command.
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Jim Halpert: I miss Dwight. Congratulations Universe. You win.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: No! Don't throw that away! That's my Drakkar Noir.
Ryan: No, this says 'Rite Aid Nite Swept.'
Michael Scott: It's a perfect smell-alike. I'm not playing for the label.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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