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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

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Dwight Shrute: Kevin! [running over to Kevin's desk] Give me those leads! Where are they, come on!
Kevin: You are never going to find them.
Dwight Shrute: Really.
Kevin: I'm going to enjoy this.
[Dwight starts choking Kevin]
Dwight Shrute: Give me the leads! Where are the leads!
Kevin: I'm still enjoying it.
Dwight Shrute: Where are they!
Kevin: [choking] They're in the trash! They're in the trash!
Dwight Shrute: Trash. Code... Alright, Meredith! Take off your dress.
Meredith: Okie-dokie.
Kevin: No, dear God no! It's in the trash can, in the kitchen.
Meredith: Coming off either way!
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Jim Halpert: I really, really think Michael is better at being a manager. For so many reasons.
Michael Scott: Mmmm no. I think I would be bad. I would, sleep, in my office. And I would sexually harass people.
Jim Halpert: Why would you do that.
Michael Scott: I'm turning myself in right now!
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Michael Scott: Do I know what the surprise is? Hell no! It doesn't matter. The point is, they're not unhappy anymore. They're out there thinking, "Wow, my boss really cares about me. He has a surprise. He's cool. I...what a great guy. I love him. I...love him.
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Michael Scott: You know what eats a large amount of the day are naps. You go to sleep it's light out, you wake up it's dark. That's the whole day. Where did that day go? I have no idea.
Jim Halpert: You mean on a weekend.
[awkward pause]
Michael Scott: Yes.
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Kelly: I'll tell you one thing, I am not going to be one of those women shlepping her kids around in a minivan.
Jan: Great, uh-huh?
Kelly: I want an SUV... with three rows of seats.
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Michael Scott: They're wrong, you are creative. You are damn creative. Each and every one of you. You are so much more creative than all the other dry, boring morons that you work with.
Jim Halpert: Who are you talking to, specifically?
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Jim Halpert: Andy put down a bunch of deposits on stuff for his wedding with Angela but then she was sleeping with Dwight for... several years. Wait, no that's can't be right.
Pam Beesly: The timeline's messy.
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Michael Scott: [after a phone call with Sherry] I wish I could fire Sherry.
Sherry: I'm still here, Michael.
Michael Scott: Err... okay, Sherry. Thank you. [hangs up]
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Michael Scott: Erin, do we have any of those clips that hold paper together?
Erin: Staples?
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Oscar: Sorry I yelled.
Pam Halpert: You could have just told us what you were thinking.
Oscar: There's no theater in that.
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Jim Halpert: Okay, shhhh stop. Stop whatever you're doing because this is going to be good.
[looking at Dwight buy a purse from Katy, the purse girl]
Jim Halpert: [imitating Dwight in high-falsetto voice] Hi. My name is Dwight Schrute and I would like to buy a purse from you. Good lord, look at these purses! This is something special. Oh my God. Is this Salvatore Di-chini-asta?
Pam Beesly: [mimicking Katy] Oh definitely, definitely step in and out of it like that.
Jim Halpert: Yes, well I want to stress test it. You know, in case anything happens.
Pam Beesly: Oh!
Jim Halpert: Oh! That was really. [Dwight hits purse against table] This is necessary to do to really give it a good workout. This is ooooh... This is the prettiest one of all. I'm going to be the prettiest girl in the ball. Oh, how much?
Pam Beesly: Oh, God. It's sad. It's so sad.
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Gabe: [Reading]: Isn't this the perfect romantic getaway, Erin? Sitting on a desert island in dog costumes. I'm Gabe and I'm a weirdo.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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