Random Quotes from The Office
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| Andy: | I know the perfect place too. |
| Michael Scott: | Hooters? |
| Andy: | Noo. Benihana. Much classier. But don't worry, babes are totally hot too. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Listen, temp, I am conducting a little investigation, so I am no longer going to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it? |
| Ryan: | Yeah, I think I can handle it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Do you think, or do you know? |
| Ryan: | I think. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh God, here. |
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| Darryl: | Mike you know you don't need to turn us all in. All you need is one scapegoat. |
| Kelly: | Uh, if you turn me in I'm turning in Darryl. |
| Michael Scott: | That's just what we need. Another black man in prison. |
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| [Dwight sits down with a huge keychain] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Wow that's a lot of keys. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Bigger the keychain more powerful the man. |
| Jim Halpert: | That's great. Janitor said that. |
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| Michael Scott: | For my emergency contact put Todd F. Packer. Do you know what the 'F' stands for? |
| Ryan: | Fudge? |
| Michael Scott: | How did you-- |
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| I.T. Guy: | What was the exact offer? |
| Pam Beesly: | It was for a... video. |
| I.T. Guy: | Yeah, what kind of video? |
| Pam Beesly: | A celebrity sex-tape. |
| Jim Halpert: | Really? What kind of celebrity? |
| Pam Beesly: | Not relevant. |
| Jim Halpert: | How much you pay for it? |
| Pam Beesly: | Not relevant. |
| Jim Halpert: | You paid for it!? |
| Pam Beesly: | It all happened too fast! |
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| Andy: | There's like this crazy ringing going on... I can't... |
| [Singing, trying to find a note] | |
| Andy: | I can't find the perfect C. |
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| David Wallace: | Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie, and it turns out, it's pretty realistic. |
| David Wallace: | We had to pay for it. It cost us thirty-five hundred dollars. |
| Michael Scott: | Five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy? Ok. Look. This is why we have training. We start with the dummy and learn from our mistakes and now Dwight knows, not to cut the face off a real person. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Kelly, I'll take this one. Diwaili is a celebration of the coronation of the god king Rama after his epic battle with Ravana, the demon king of Lanka. It symbolizes the battle between good and evil-- |
| Michael Scott: | Alright, alright, alright, this isn't Lord of the Rings. |
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| Andy | My 'brid, my hybrid, my Prius hybrid won't fit a tree, which is ironic considering how many trees it saves. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Why don't I wanna go? Didn't expect to need a reason so let me think here. Um. I don't know any of these people, it's an obligation, I don't think talking paper in my free time (or in my work time,) and, did I use the word pointless? |
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| Pam Beesly: | Michael? |
| Michael Scott: | Pam! |
| Pam Beesly: | Hey... there's-- |
| Michael Scott: | Burger with cheese! |
| Pam Beesly: | There's a person here-- |
| Michael Scott: | And fries! |
| Pam Beesly: | There's-- |
| Micahael Scott: | And a shake. |