Random Quotes from The Office
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| Michael Scott: | You know what this is like? I'll tell you what this is like. This is like when freshmen throw a party and wouldn't let any of the seniors go. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | Michael you were supposed to tell me when the leads came in! |
| Michael Scott: | Well Bigshot, if you want to find your leads, go to the man who never breathes. |
| Dwight Shrute: | [pauses] Kevin! |
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| Executive: | Did you shout "fire," causing a panic? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yes I shouted fire. I shouted many things. I also shouted instructions on how to get out of the building so you can imagine my frustration, as safety officer, when nobody would heed of, would heeded, heeded of-- |
| Michael Scott: | Headed of-- |
| Dwight Schrute: | When no one would take headed of my instructions. |
| Michael Scott: | Heed. Take heed. |
| Dwight Schrute: | I don't see my co-workers-- |
| Michael Scott: | Take heed of-- |
| Dwight Schrute: | --heeding this. Right now. |
| Executive: | Right what? |
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| Jim Halpert: | Truce? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, I guess, since I won. |
| Jim Halpert: | You did win. You did win. Anyway, I'm going to need three copies of each of these, stapled and collated. [starts walking away then turns and comes back] Totally kidding... [leans in close as if to kiss Pam] I'm going to need four. [kisses Pam] |
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| Michael Scott: | [at the Moroccan Christmas party, to Kelly] Ahhh. So this is what every day would be like if you hadn't left India. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Who would you do? |
| Kevin: | Present company excluded? |
| Jim Halpert: | Not necessarily... |
| Kevin: | Pam. |
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| Michael Scott: | [to Pam, upset in car] I thrive on negativity. In the seventh grade, my math teacher told me I was flunking. You know what? The next day I scored six goals for my hockey team. So there you go. |
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| Michael Scott: | The old Michael Scott might have taken this but not the new Michael Scott. They are in, for a bitter surprise. I am not to be truffled with. |
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| Andy: | What if we changed our outgoing answering machine message so it just has a little more zing and a little more pep. |
| Michael Scott: | Zing and pep. See that's- those are the kind of words we're looking for. Yes Jim. |
| Jim Halpert: | What about if we did an even newer voicemail message that had even more zing and pep. |
| Michael Scott: | Now we're thinking. I like this. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Do you have the sharpie! |
| Michael Scott: | Yes, I do! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok. When the baby emerges, mark it secretly in a kind of a mark that only you could recognize and no baby snatcher could ever copy. |
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| Oscar: | Guys, I drive an SUV. Does that mean I'm in the mob? |
| Dwight Schrute: | No, not that by itself but look at all the facts. He seems like a mobster. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Can we not? |
| Michael Scott: | No, yes we have to, know why? Because I don't like to be cooped up in that office, in that box, all day long. Heisman! |
