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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

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Jim Halpert: Truce?
Pam Beesly: Yeah, I guess, since I won.
Jim Halpert: You did win. You did win. Anyway, I'm going to need three copies of each of these, stapled and collated. [starts walking away then turns and comes back] Totally kidding... [leans in close as if to kiss Pam] I'm going to need four. [kisses Pam]
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Pam Beesly: Angela made several 911 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building. So the police put up a radar gun. It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard.
Dwight Schrute: [running] AHHHHH!!!
Phylis: Wow! Thirteen! [breaking Michael's previous record of 12]
Michael Scott: No, no. There was wind.
Dwight Schrute: I was just jogging.
Michael Scott: Dwight, there was wind. I want a do-over.
Jim Halpert: No. It's not your turn. Okay, thirteen is the new number. Oscar go ahead. [Oscar is preparing to run]
Michael Scott I want another try. Here we go. [Michael starts running just as a car drives by] Thirty-one! Thirty-one!
Stanley: That was the car.
Michael Scott: I was ahead of the car. Thirty-one is my new number.
Oscar: Thirty-one is humanly impossible.
Michael Scott: Go, Oscar. Thirty-one is my new number.
Oscar: That's impossible.
Michael Scott: Beat it!
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Pam Beesly: This is the best burger I've ever had, babe.
Jim Halpert: Babe, I should have told you but, I did something bad.
Pam Beesly: Mm?
Jim Halpert: I stole this. [holds up Hunter's CD] For you, babe.
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Oscar: Go on. Kiss each other already.
Kevin: Suck it Oscar. This must kill you.
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David Wallace: Can you tell me why you had to cut the face off the dummy.
Dwight Schrute: I didn't think it was very realistic in the movie, and it turns out, it's pretty realistic.
David Wallace: We had to pay for it. It cost us thirty-five hundred dollars.
Michael Scott: Five thousand three hundred dollars for a dummy? Ok. Look. This is why we have training. We start with the dummy and learn from our mistakes and now Dwight knows, not to cut the face off a real person.
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Oscar: How can you live with yourself?
Michael Scott: I am what I am, Oscar. And I want what I want. And right now I want a piece of cake. From now on, when I'm hungry I am going to eat whatever I'm hungry for.
Kevin: That is a dangerous game, friendo.
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Michael Scott: Does anyone have any idea what the number one cause of death is in this country.
Dwight Schrute: Shotgun weddings.
Jim Halpert: That's not what that is.
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Kelly: And the guys are saying, "Chug chug chug!" but I'm so small, and all I'd eaten that day was one of those Auntie Ann pretzels from the food court. So I said, "Is it ok if I sip it?" and they said "No". But Ryan seemed cool either way.
Dwight Schrute: [Slams fist on table] Stop! This is not Kelly Kapoor story hour. Illegal drugs were consumed on company property. Okay! Your ass is on the line Mister. My ass is on the line. Now I'm going to ask you again, what time did you go home last night?
Kelly: Six.
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Andy: Old ball 'n chain's been a lot more chain than ball lately. You know what I'm saying.
Angela: I'm right here.
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Stanley Hudson I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too expensive, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little... but on pretzel day... well, I like pretzel day...
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Jim Halpert: We just want to make it up to you, what can we do?
Kelly: I guess my only wish, would be that nothing so terrible would ever happen to anyone else ever again.
Dwight Schrute: [to Jim] Oh God.
Jim Halpert: [to Kelly] Ok.
Kelly: In a way, it's good that it happened to me because at least I can bare it--
Dwight Schrute: What kind of cake do you want, imbecile.
Kelly: Ice cream.
[Jim and Dwight walk away without a word]
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Michael Scott: I am a big Fear Factor fan. Um... I'm a big fan of anything Joe Rogan does, actually.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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