1737 quotes from The Office!
Random Quotes from The Office
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

3
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | I'm a little confused, because first it's all kissy kissy, then it's all like regret, 'cause oh I regret that. But wait I'm still going to call you... but but wait we're only going to talk about business... but wait I can fire you if I don''t like what you''re doing... but wait what were we talking about at the restaurant? Business. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

27
votes
vote
| Oscar: | Well this is what happened. Uh, Ryan's big project was the website. Which wasn't doing so well. So Ryan, to give the impression of sales, recorded them twice. Once as offices and once in the website sales, which is what we refer to in the business as misleading the shareholders. Another good term is fraud. The real crime, I think, was the beard. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

4
votes
vote
| Pam Beesley: | Do you think Michael and Jan actually,-- |
| Jim Halpert: | I don't really want to picture it. But thank you, Pam. |
| Pam Beesley: | How do you come back from that? |
| Jim Halpert: | Um, you don't. I don't think, come all the way back. You know, especially working together. |
| Pam Beesley: | No, I mean doing that with Michael. How do you come back from THAT? As a human being. |
| Jim Halpert: | Oh, yeah, no, I don't think you can. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

17
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | You can't fire me; I don't work in this van! |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

11
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | It's hot! Today. The sun is in the two-thirds Easterly quadrant which would make it about... [looks at watch] 2 o'clock in the afternoon. Really beating down on me now. I think, that I want to get a little more comfortable, because the sun is depleting my resources. [starts cutting dress pants into shorts] Oh there we go. Watch that I don't hit my corroded artery. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

4
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Never, ever sleep with your boss. I am so lucky that Jan and I only got to second base. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

12
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Look at those wrinkles! Blacks do crack! [to camera] Not crack the drug. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

7
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | No question about it I am ready to get hurt again. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

9
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | What's your middle name? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Danger. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

6
votes
vote
| [as Dwight is moaning] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Did I ever tell you why I left Scranton? |
| Dwight Schrute: | [incoherent mumbling] No you didn't. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I didn't think I had. Well, it was all about Pam. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [more incoherent mumbling] |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, she was with Roy, and, uh, I just couldn't take it. I mean, I lost it, Dwight. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't concentrate on anything. Even weird stuff, like food had no taste. So my solution was to move away. It was awful. It was something that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and that includes you. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [sobs and reaches out for Jim, who has already walked away] |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

13
votes
vote
| Michael Scott: | Jim Halpert. Pros. Smart, cool, good looking. Remind you of anyone you know? Cons. Not a hard worker. I can spend all day on a project and he can finish the same project in a half an hour. So that should tell you something. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

11
votes
vote
| Dwight Schrute: | And just as you have planted your seed in the ground, I am going to plant my seed, in you. |
| Ryan: | I don't think you know what you're saying. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Smells pretty bad doesn't it? |
| Ryan: | Uh huh. |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's called bull-crap. And a client can smell it from a mile away. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

2
votes
vote
| Karen: | So, we have all night, where do you wanna go first? |
| Jim Halpert: | I donno. How 'bout the U.N.? |
| Karen: | How often do you come here? |
| Jim Halpert: | Um, everytime my sixth grade class goes on a field trip. |
| Karen: | Well I think you're really going to enjoy this, adult Jim. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

4
votes
vote
| Jim Halpert: | Hey man do you mind if I run something by you? |
| Ryan: | Love it! Go. |
| Jim Halpert: | Well, I kind of feel like what we had going for us was our customer service. And no matter how much we change this up, I don't know that a website's going to be able to replace that. |
| Ryan: | I can tell you've thought about this a lot I appreciate that. David Wallace does too. You told him all about this at the Christmas party right? |
| Jim Halpert: | [stammering] |
| Ryan: | You did, yeah. |
| Jim Halpert: | Hmm. |
| Ryan: | Watch your back, Jim. [pause] Just kidding. |
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community!

6
votes
vote
| [from deleted scenes] | |
| Creed: | Back in the '60s, I was with the Grassroots. We toured with Janis Joplin, The Doors, Cream. We had a lot of fun. And now I do quality assurance for a paper company. As you can imagine drugs played a part... They still do... I, uh... My work calls last about 90 seconds and that's about as long as I can concentrate. |
1
vote
AD
Refresh the page for more random quotes from The Office.
The Office Quotes is a fan site dedicated to NBC's The Office.
It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when taking content from this site.
It includes the best quotes from The Office, voted on by fans.
Please link back to TheOfficeQuotes.com when taking content from this site.



