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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Random Quotes from The Office

Random Quotes from The Office

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Jim Halpert: Listen. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is there for trying to get us kicked off.
Dwight Schrute: God... damn it! Why us?
Jim Halpert: Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong.
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Dwight Shrute: Pam would you care for a bagel?
Pam Beesly: Oh, no thank you.
Dwight Shrute: Oh, that's right, you're a woman and you need to refuse food the first time. I'll try again. [turns half way around then turns back to Pam] Please Pam, reconsider and have a bagel.
Pam Beesly: I have an early lunch.
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Ryan: Dwight will be missed. Not by me so much but he will be missed.
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Michael Scott Ryan has never made a sale. And he started a fire trying to make a cheesy pita. And everybody thinks he’s a tease. Well you know what? He doesn’t know anything, and neither do you. So suck on that!
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Michael Scott: Man what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? The computer crashes, with the porn. And then Meredith with the accident. And then, Sprinkle. God. That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed. And we have to do something.
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Michael Scott: [to Jan over the phone] Hey, how's traffic? I miss you- what?
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Pam Beesley: We found a great local daycare. It's rated really high by all the local parenting websites. That means it's really hard to get into.
Jim Halpert: It turns out a lot of parents want the very best for their kids.
Pam Beasley: We're hoping our interview seals the deal.
Jim Halpert: But if not, theres always the army. The infantry.
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[in front of the arcade game]
Andy: Wow. Can you imagine what people would say if they saw us dancing together.
Erin: Oh I know.
Andy: They'd be like, "What's up with those twoo!"
Erin: "Hey guys get a bedroom already!"
Andy: "Did we miss the wedding!"
[Erin laughs]
Andy: Um I got it! I'll do this, and you play the racing game and then we'll switch.
Erin: [pause] Yes. Ok. Yeah that's smart.
Andy: No drama, ok.
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Dwight Schrute: Babies are one of my many areas of expertise. Growing up, I performed my own circumcision.
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Jim Halpert: Several times a day, Michael says words that are Way beyond my vocabulary--
Michael Scott: I know where this is going!
Jim Halpert: Do ya?
Michael Scott: No.
Jim Halpert: Ok. Remember spiderface?
Michael Scott: No.
Jim Halpert: Ok because the quote was, "cut off her nose to spiderface."
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Darryl: Mike you know you don't need to turn us all in. All you need is one scapegoat.
Kelly: Uh, if you turn me in I'm turning in Darryl.
Michael Scott: That's just what we need. Another black man in prison.
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Kelly: And the guys are saying, "Chug chug chug!" but I'm so small, and all I'd eaten that day was one of those Auntie Ann pretzels from the food court. So I said, "Is it ok if I sip it?" and they said "No". But Ryan seemed cool either way.
Dwight Schrute: [Slams fist on table] Stop! This is not Kelly Kapoor story hour. Illegal drugs were consumed on company property. Okay! Your ass is on the line Mister. My ass is on the line. Now I'm going to ask you again, what time did you go home last night?
Kelly: Six.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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