The Office Season 3 Quotes - Phyllis' Wedding
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| Dwight Schrute: | I saw Wedding Crashers, accidentally. I bought a ticket for Grizzly Man and went into the wrong theatre. After an hour I figured I was in the wrong theatre but I kept waiting. That's the thing about bear attacks, they come when you least expect it. |
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| Michael Scott: | Webster's Dictionary defines 'wedding' as 'the fusing of two metals with a hot torch.' Well you know something? I think you guys are two medals. Gold medals. |
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| Michael Scott: | Phyllis, did you break wind? It's okay, if you did. It's a very natural reaction. It's your wedding, you're nervous. |
| Phyllis: | Mmm that wasn't me. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay. Um. I'm sure that Bob... Wow. That is-- that is pungent. I lost my train of thought. Ahh.. are you set on that hairstyle? |
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| Kelly: | This was supposed to be your wedding. |
| Pam Beesly: | Oh, um, no, that's um, that's actually fine. |
| Kelly: | There's no way it's fine. I'm sorry, if I was you I would just like freak out and get really drunk and then tell someone I was pregnant. |
| Pam Beesly: | Okay. That's a lot of good ideas, thanks. |
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| Kelly: | Could you scoot over? You're on my dress. |
| Meredith: | I thought you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding. |
| Kelly: | I know but there was an emergency. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Kelly: | I look really good in white. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | The Schrutes have their own traditions. We usually marry standing in our own graves. Makes the funerals very romantic. But the weddings are a bleak affair. |
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| Kevin: | Uh, attention everyone, attention please. Uh, I'm supposed to ask if anyone has seen Uncle Al. He is old, has brown eyes and dementia. His family is very concerned. It's a very serious situation. |
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| Michael Scott: | Since I pay her salary, it is like I am paying for the wedding. Which I'm happy to do. It's a big day for Phyllis, but it's an even bigger day for me. Employer of the bride. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Phyllis ended up using the exact same invitations, as Roy and me. So it was kind of like being invited to my own wedding, and I was like, 'wait, I thought I called that off.' |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [at Phyllis' wedding] Why are all these people here? There's too many people on this earth -- we need a new plague. Who are all these people!? |
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| Kevin: | No this is not our first wedding. This is the third wedding that Scrantonicity has played. We also played our bassist's wedding, and our guitarist's wedding. |
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| Michael Scott: | You might be surprised to learn that I've only been to one other wedding. It's actually a very cute story. |
| [Old home video of wedding plays] | |
| Michael Scott: | My mom was marrying Jeff, and they asked me to be ring bearer. And I was understandably emotional and somehow my pants became wet. |
| [In video] | |
| Young Michael: | I hate you! [Throws ring bearer pillow and runs away] |
| Michael Scott: | A long story short, Jeff's dog ended up as ring bearer. And the irony is that, after the ceremony that dog peed on everything...and nobody said, "Boo". |
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