The Office Season 2 Quotes - The Secret

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Kevin: Jim has got it bad for Pam.
Creed: Oooh! ...Which one is Pam?
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Dwight Schrute: Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight? He was lying about being sick! Should I have reported Oscar's malfeasance? Hmm... probably. But now I know something he doesn't want me to know. So I can use his malfeasance to establish leverage. Otherwise, it's just malfeasance for malfeasance's sake.
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Michael Scott: So, uh, what's the 411? Any updates on the, uh, the P situation?
Jim Halpert: I don't know what you mean.
Michael Scott: P-A-M.
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I know.
Michael Scott: P-A...
Jim Halpert: Uh!
Michael Scott: M...
Jim Halpert: Okay.
Michael Scott: No, it's okay, we're talking code.
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Dwight Schrute: Listen, temp, I am conducting a little investigation, so I am no longer going to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it?
Ryan: Yeah, I think I can handle it.
Dwight Schrute: Do you think, or do you know?
Ryan: I think.
Dwight Schrute: Oh God, here.
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Ryan: If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget, too.
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Toby: You just got your corporate credit card back. Do you really want me to take it away again?
Michael Scott: I put a cigarette through a freakin' quarter! And you know what, Toby? They almost bought from us!
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Michael Scott: [to Stanley] Peach Iced Tea. You're gonna hate it.
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Michael Scott: Jim and I are great friends. We hang out a ton, mostly at work...
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Toby: I'm not processing this.
Michael Scott: Look, Jim... needed a relaxing lunch. He has been depressed, and it has been affecting his productivity. How is that not work related?
Toby: He seems fine to me.
Michael Scott: You're not his friend, you don't know. He is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged, so cut me some slack, please.
Kelly: Pam?!
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Michael Scott: [at Hooters] Oh man you should order milk. Get it?
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Dwight Schrute: Merideth, you're in charge of the men's bathroom. Make sure you replace the urinal cakes, they're all worn down.
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Michael Scott: Tell me Dana, how is your chicken breast?
Waitress: Oh, it's great. It's served with our world famous wing sauce.
Michael Scott: Mmmm, sounds yummy. I will have a chicken breast, hold the chicken.
Waitress: Is that what you really want?
Michael Scott: No, I'm gonna have the gourmet hotdog.
Waitress: Great.
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Michael Scott: It's graaaaaaape soda!
Jim Halpert: Tony The Tiger... you don't hear that much anymore.
Michael Scott: Yeah. Not so much.
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Ryan: Creed, did you organize the menu book?
Creed: Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis.
Ryan: No, that was mandatory.
Creed: Oh I thought it was a volunteer thing.
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Michael Scott: What's my favorite thing about Hooters? I'll give you two: boobs and hot wings!
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Angela: Oscar is off sick.
Dwight Schrute: That's unacceptable.
Angela: I agree, that is unnacceptable.
[they stare at each other]
Kevin: ...What are you guys doing?
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Jim Halpert: Well, the cat's out of the bag. I used to have a crush on Pam, and now I don't. Riveting.
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Jim Halpert: Hey, Mike.
Michael Scott: Hey, Jim Bag.

2 Comments in the episode conference room.

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