The Office Season 2 Quotes - The Secret
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| Dwight Schrute: | Guess what I found out about Oscar tonight? He was lying about being sick! Should I have reported Oscar's malfeasance? Hmm... probably. But now I know something he doesn't want me to know. So I can use his malfeasance to establish leverage. Otherwise, it's just malfeasance for malfeasance's sake. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Listen, temp, I am conducting a little investigation, so I am no longer going to be able to head up spring cleaning. Do you think you can handle it? |
| Ryan: | Yeah, I think I can handle it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Do you think, or do you know? |
| Ryan: | I think. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh God, here. |
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| Michael Scott: | So, uh, what's the 411? Any updates on the, uh, the P situation? |
| Jim Halpert: | I don't know what you mean. |
| Michael Scott: | P-A-M. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, I know. |
| Michael Scott: | P-A... |
| Jim Halpert: | Uh! |
| Michael Scott: | M... |
| Jim Halpert: | Okay. |
| Michael Scott: | No, it's okay, we're talking code. |
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| Ryan: | If I had to, I could clean out my desk in five seconds, and nobody would ever know I had ever been here. And I'd forget, too. |
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| Toby: | You just got your corporate credit card back. Do you really want me to take it away again? |
| Michael Scott: | I put a cigarette through a freakin' quarter! And you know what, Toby? They almost bought from us! |
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| Toby: | I'm not processing this. |
| Michael Scott: | Look, Jim... needed a relaxing lunch. He has been depressed, and it has been affecting his productivity. How is that not work related? |
| Toby: | He seems fine to me. |
| Michael Scott: | You're not his friend, you don't know. He is in love with a girl he works with who's engaged, so cut me some slack, please. |
| Kelly: | Pam?! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Merideth, you're in charge of the men's bathroom. Make sure you replace the urinal cakes, they're all worn down. |
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| Michael Scott: | Tell me Dana, how is your chicken breast? |
| Waitress: | Oh, it's great. It's served with our world famous wing sauce. |
| Michael Scott: | Mmmm, sounds yummy. I will have a chicken breast, hold the chicken. |
| Waitress: | Is that what you really want? |
| Michael Scott: | No, I'm gonna have the gourmet hotdog. |
| Waitress: | Great. |
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| Michael Scott: | It's graaaaaaape soda! |
| Jim Halpert: | Tony The Tiger... you don't hear that much anymore. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. Not so much. |
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| Ryan: | Creed, did you organize the menu book? |
| Creed: | Oh, I thought that was more on a volunteer basis. |
| Ryan: | No, that was mandatory. |
| Creed: | Oh I thought it was a volunteer thing. |
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| Michael Scott: | What's my favorite thing about Hooters? I'll give you two: boobs and hot wings! |
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| Angela: | Oscar is off sick. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That's unacceptable. |
| Angela: | I agree, that is unnacceptable. |
| [they stare at each other] | |
| Kevin: | ...What are you guys doing? |
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| Jim Halpert: | Well, the cat's out of the bag. I used to have a crush on Pam, and now I don't. Riveting. |
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