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The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 7 - Sex Ed

The Office Season 7 Quotes - Sex Ed

  • Quotes
  • Conference Room (10 Comments)
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15
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Michael Scott: I have a disease. For which there is no known cure, that has been sexually transmitted to me. I cant even say it. H... I... R-P-E-E-S.
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14
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Andy Bernard: I'm not gonna use my penis, it's not exactly hard right now anyway.
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Holly: [voicemail] This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up. *BEEP*
Michael Scott: Hi Holly. It's Michael. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said. It's just...you know...it's weird. Today I ended up seeing a lot of the women I used to date and in my mind, they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must've been a real train wreck. You know what? Holly, you're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I feel for them like anything I feel for you. I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you. You were the only one who was actually happy to hear from me. And I don't know why you downgraded what we had, but I did not make us up. Ok..Oh and you might-you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye.
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9
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Andy: [holding picture] This is a man's genatalia.
Jim Halpert: Hey...
Andy: Oh, is it because he's black?
Jim Halpert: No, because it's genetalia.
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9
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Michael Scott: Between the sheets, we were like Jordan and Pippen.
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8
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Holly: Michael, you cried at the movie tagline that you made up.
Michael Scott: Well, he had no arms or legs, and he couldn't see, hear or speak... and that's how he led a nation.
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7
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[translating for a Spanish worker that Dwight is trying to hire]
Boy: We don't go with that man. / I've seen several men go with that man and not come back. / We've lost friends... / We don't know what he does with them. / I don't wanna talk about it anymore.
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7
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Michael Scott: I used to think that she was the one. Or at least a the one.
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7
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Merideth I know lots of people with herpes. I have herpes.
Creed Really? I've never seen it on you.
Merideth That's because it's on my genitals, genius.
Kevin Malone [takes a moment to think] You have a penis?
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6
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Michael Scott: It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she still rocks harder than anyone else.
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3
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Dwight Schrute: When did the phrase "do or die" become so corrupted?
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2
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Michael Scott: How did this happen? How did I get this?
Dwight Schrute: Sometimes it can lie dormant in a woman for years. They might not even know that they have it.
Michael Scott: You know what? I feel like one of those old tiny sailors in VD. [In pirate voice] Aye, it's me own damn fault. Girl in every port.
Dwight Schrute: What port? The Jan port? The Holly port?
Michael Scott: Don't even. Holly was clean, okay? If anything, I gave it to her.
Dwight Schrute: You may have.
Michael Scott: Oh my God. What if I did?
Dwight Schrute: You need to contact Holly. You need to notify her, that she is crawling with herpes.
Michael Scott: Okay. You know what? Might, might be crawling with herpes. I might have gotten it after her.
Dwight Schrute: You need to contact every woman you've been with and notify them of your herpes infestation. It's the right thing to do.
Michael Scott: There is no way I'm going to do that.
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2
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Dwight Schrute: No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge.
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2
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Micheal Scott: [to Erin] Erin, do I have any mustaches, I mean, messages?
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2
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Dwight Schrute: Michael, you forgot to mention the herpes.
Michael Scott: It didn't come out organically.
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1
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Kelly: Can we please talk about how gross Meredith is?
Angela: This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse.
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1
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Jan: No. I'm the princess. And the queen.
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Pam Beesly: [to camera] It's just good to catch a Micheal train of thought early before it derails and destroys the entire town.
10 Comments in the Conference Room
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons

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