The Office Season 7 Quotes - Sex Ed
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| Michael Scott: | I have a disease. For which there is no known cure, that has been sexually transmitted to me. I cant even say it. H... I... R-P-E-E-S. |
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| Holly: | [voicemail] This is Holly Flax. I can't come to the phone right now but please leave a message at the sound of the tiny truck backing up. *BEEP* |
| Michael Scott: | Hi Holly. It's Michael. I just wanted to call and let you know that I was thinking about what you said. It's just...you know...it's weird. Today I ended up seeing a lot of the women I used to date and in my mind, they were all great. And then when I actually saw them, it was mostly a freak show. And you and me, that must've been a real train wreck. You know what? Holly, you're wrong. You are wrong. I remember every second of us. And talking to you today, I feel for them like anything I feel for you. I didn't joke with any of them. I joked with you. You were the only one who was actually happy to hear from me. And I don't know why you downgraded what we had, but I did not make us up. Ok..Oh and you might-you should talk to a doctor because you might have herpes. Bye. |
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| Andy: | [holding picture] This is a man's genatalia. |
| Jim Halpert: | Hey... |
| Andy: | Oh, is it because he's black? |
| Jim Halpert: | No, because it's genetalia. |
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| Holly: | Michael, you cried at the movie tagline that you made up. |
| Michael Scott: | Well, he had no arms or legs, and he couldn't see, hear or speak... and that's how he led a nation. |
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| [translating for a Spanish worker that Dwight is trying to hire] | |
| Boy: | We don't go with that man. / I've seen several men go with that man and not come back. / We've lost friends... / We don't know what he does with them. / I don't wanna talk about it anymore. |
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| Merideth | I know lots of people with herpes. I have herpes. |
| Creed | Really? I've never seen it on you. |
| Merideth | That's because it's on my genitals, genius. |
| Kevin Malone | [takes a moment to think] You have a penis? |
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| Michael Scott: | It's a pimple, Phyllis. Avril Lavigne gets them all the time and she still rocks harder than anyone else. |
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| Michael Scott: | How did this happen? How did I get this? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Sometimes it can lie dormant in a woman for years. They might not even know that they have it. |
| Michael Scott: | You know what? I feel like one of those old tiny sailors in VD. [In pirate voice] Aye, it's me own damn fault. Girl in every port. |
| Dwight Schrute: | What port? The Jan port? The Holly port? |
| Michael Scott: | Don't even. Holly was clean, okay? If anything, I gave it to her. |
| Dwight Schrute: | You may have. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh my God. What if I did? |
| Dwight Schrute: | You need to contact Holly. You need to notify her, that she is crawling with herpes. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay. You know what? Might, might be crawling with herpes. I might have gotten it after her. |
| Dwight Schrute: | You need to contact every woman you've been with and notify them of your herpes infestation. It's the right thing to do. |
| Michael Scott: | There is no way I'm going to do that. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | No, I'm no doctor, but it seems to me that we all have an obligation to the public health to track down anyone who gives us a disease, inform them of it, and take overwhelming revenge on that person. Again, I'm no doctor. I'm just a normal guy who enjoys revenge. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Michael, you forgot to mention the herpes. |
| Michael Scott: | It didn't come out organically. |
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| Kelly: | Can we please talk about how gross Meredith is? |
| Angela: | This is what you get when you treat your body like an outhouse. |
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