Normally I don't condone leaving early but I have an appointment with a horse doctor. How that horse became a doctor I donno. [short pause because Dwight breaks out laughing] Nah I'm kidding. He's just a regular doctor who shoots your horse in the head when its leg is broken.
Michael has chicken pot pie for lunch. Actually let me rephrase that, Michael had an entire chicken pot pie for lunch-- Let me be more specific. Michael ate an entire, family-sized chicken pot pie for lunch and then he promptly fell asleep so we're all trying to be very quiet so as to not wake him up before 5pm. Which actually should be about... [lifts up wall clock and turns it to 4:50] ten minutes.
For one hundred dollars. Where did Dunder meet Mifflin? A, on Easy Street. B, a tour of Dartmouth College. C, they never met. D, brushing their teeth.
[long pause] Oh I'm thinking. I'm going to say.... B, tour of Dartmouth College.
That is correct!
[they run to the side of the other side of the stage]
How did you know that!
[screaming violently] I was there! I was a tour guide at Dartmouth College! [screams]
[they run to the other side of the stage]
Nice campus, think you'll get in?
Yeah I'm definitely getting in. I'm a shoe-in.
I'm Robert Dunder.
I'm Robert Mifflin.
[they run back to the chairs]
Robert Mifflin had a great life. But unfortunately the undiagnosed depression, which over nine million Americans suffer from and is very treatable. For two hundred and fifty dollars! How did he kill himself? A, a rope. B, a knife. C, a gun. D, brushing his teeth!
Two hundred and fifty dollars is more than I've ever seen in my life. I will say, C, a gun. He shot himself, in the head.
That is correct!
[cut to Stanley]
I usually don't enjoy the theater but this is delightful.
I lied to Kevin. Holly and I can never be just friends. I wrote down, a list of bullet points, why Holly and I should be together and I'm going to find the perfect moment today and I'm gonna tell her. [quickly looks at crinkled note] Number one, "Holly, you and I are soup snakes." The-- and the reason is-- because, in terms of the soup we like to eat-- That doesn't make any sense. [checks note again] We're soulmates! Holly and I are soulmates.
I didn't find the perfect moment. Because I think that today was about just having today. And I think that we are one of those couples with a long story, when people ask how we found each other. I, will see her, every now and then, and, maybe one year she'll be with somebody and the next year I'll be with somebody. And it's going to take a long time... and then it's perfect. I'm in no rush.
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