The Office Quotes (NBC) | Season 2

Posted: 2571 Quotes from The Office

The Office Season 2 Quotes - Email Surveillance

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Conference Room (6 Comments)
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Jim Halpert:

And my roommate wants to meet everybody. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real.

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Dwight Schrute:

I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections... there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we''re downriver... from that old bread factory.

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Dwight Schrute:	Jim! You think this is a good idea? Hidden key in a rock?
Jim's Roommate:	You must be Dwight!

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IT Guy:	What's your password, Michael? [both look at sticky note attached to monitor] Oh, it's 1 2 3 4.
Michael Scott:	Yes...

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Michael Scott:

I would not miss it for the world, but if something else came up, I would definitely not go.

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Michael Scott:

Think about this: what is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That''s why I always start with a gun, because you can''t top it. You just can''t.

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Bill:

He said he couldn't show it to me but he has a gun.

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Michael Scott:

Come on, that guy! [looks at camera] He's a good guy; not a terrorist.

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Michael Scott:

If I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania and die, you can have my job, okay?

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Jim Halpert:

It's true, I'm having a party. I've got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and I didn't invite Michael... so, three ingredients for a great party.

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Kevin:

[to Ryan] Not so fast, 'fire guy.'

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Michael Scott:

The IT tech guy and me did not get off to a good start.

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Michael Scott:

Funny story. The way I got into improv was- I got into improv- oh, the story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street and a racecar pulls up, and the guy says, 'Hey, you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' [laughs] And that, was an improv. [pause] Um, the real way was that I found a flyer.

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Jim's Roommate:	Nice Birkenstocks.
Dwight Schrute:	Thanks. I have another pair in my car for special occasions.

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Michael Scott:

Here is some wine; I would love a glass if you're going to open it. Hello Temp! Take my jacket! [throws jacket at Ryan]

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Jim Halpert:	Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun?
Angela:	I got sap on me.
Jim Halpert:	Chicken, hot dog, burger?
Angela:	I'm a vegetarian.
Jim:	There's soda inside.

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Angela:

I think its alright. I mean, Jesus drank wine.

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Michael Scott:

I do think I'm very approachable as one of the guys, but maybe I need to be even more approachabler.

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Michael Scott:

There's always a distance between a boss and the employees, its just nature's rule. It's intimidation mostly. It's the awareness that they are not me.

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	[from deleted scenes]
Michael Scott:	Did you have Johnny Carson, in your... land?
IT Guy:	Pittsburgh?

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Michael Scott:

When people hear the term 'big brother' they immediately think it's bad or scary. I don't. I think, 'Wow, I love my big brother.'

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Michael Scott:	So Bernie's huh? We're all going to Bernie's?
Bill:	Oh, uh, sorry, we're not going as a group. It's just a private friend, who happens to know all of us from differnet ways, is throwing a private birthday thing, so...

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Michael Scott:

Oh no, everybody, Oscar's gone crazy. What other ghost stories do you have for us? That I'm a robot? I will destroy, everything, in my path, [makes robot sounds] oil can, Tin Man.

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Kevin:

I have to delete a lot of stuff. A lot. Of stuff.

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Stanley:	I didn't think the premium laser color copy batch would see as well as it did.
Oscar:	It surprised us all and I'll tell you why-
Kelly:	I'm sorry guys. Can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about.
	[silence]