The Office Season 2 Quotes - Email Surveillance
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| Jim Halpert: | And my roommate wants to meet everybody. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections... there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we''re downriver... from that old bread factory. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Jim! You think this is a good idea? Hidden key in a rock? |
| Jim's Roommate: | You must be Dwight! |
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| Michael Scott: | Think about this: what is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That''s why I always start with a gun, because you can''t top it. You just can''t. |
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| IT Guy: | What's your password, Michael? [both look at sticky note attached to monitor] Oh, it's 1 2 3 4. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes... |
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| Michael Scott: | I would not miss it for the world, but if something else came up, I would definitely not go. |
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| Jim Halpert: | It's true, I'm having a party. I've got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and I didn't invite Michael... so, three ingredients for a great party. |
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| Michael Scott: | Funny story. The way I got into improv was- I got into improv- oh, the story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street and a racecar pulls up, and the guy says, 'Hey, you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' [laughs] And that, was an improv. [pause] Um, the real way was that I found a flyer. |
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| Michael Scott: | If I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania and die, you can have my job, okay? |
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| Jim's Roommate: | Nice Birkenstocks. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Thanks. I have another pair in my car for special occasions. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun? |
| Angela: | I got sap on me. |
| Jim Halpert: | Chicken, hot dog, burger? |
| Angela: | I'm a vegetarian. |
| Jim: | There's soda inside. |
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| Michael Scott: | So Bernie's huh? We're all going to Bernie's? |
| Bill: | Oh, uh, sorry, we're not going as a group. It's just a private friend, who happens to know all of us from differnet ways, is throwing a private birthday thing, so... |
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| Michael Scott: | Here is some wine; I would love a glass if you're going to open it. Hello Temp! Take my jacket! [throws jacket at Ryan] |
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| Michael Scott: | I do think I'm very approachable as one of the guys, but maybe I need to be even more approachabler. |
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| [from deleted scenes] | |
| Michael Scott: | Did you have Johnny Carson, in your... land? |
| IT Guy: | Pittsburgh? |
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| Michael Scott: | When people hear the term 'big brother' they immediately think it's bad or scary. I don't. I think, 'Wow, I love my big brother.' |
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| Michael Scott: | Oh no, everybody, Oscar's gone crazy. What other ghost stories do you have for us? That I'm a robot? I will destroy, everything, in my path, [makes robot sounds] oil can, Tin Man. |
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| Michael Scott: | There's always a distance between a boss and the employees, its just nature's rule. It's intimidation mostly. It's the awareness that they are not me. |
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| Stanley: | I didn't think the premium laser color copy batch would see as well as it did. |
| Oscar: | It surprised us all and I'll tell you why- |
| Kelly: | I'm sorry guys. Can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about. |
| [silence] |
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