The Office Season 2 Quotes - Email Surveillance
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| Jim Halpert: | And my roommate wants to meet everybody. I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm making Dwight up. He is very real. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I think one of the greatest things about modern America is the computerization of medical records. As a volunteer sheriff, I can look up anyone's psychiatric records or surgical histories. Yeast infections... there are a huge number of yeast infections in this county. Probably because we''re downriver... from that old bread factory. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Jim! You think this is a good idea? Hidden key in a rock? |
| Jim's Roommate: | You must be Dwight! |
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| Michael Scott: | Think about this: what is the most exciting thing that can happen on TV or in movies, or in real life? Somebody has a gun. That''s why I always start with a gun, because you can''t top it. You just can''t. |
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| IT Guy: | What's your password, Michael? [both look at sticky note attached to monitor] Oh, it's 1 2 3 4. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes... |
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| Michael Scott: | I would not miss it for the world, but if something else came up, I would definitely not go. |
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| Michael Scott: | If I step on a mine in Scranton, Pennsylvania and die, you can have my job, okay? |
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| Jim's Roommate: | Nice Birkenstocks. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Thanks. I have another pair in my car for special occasions. |
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| Michael Scott: | Funny story. The way I got into improv was- I got into improv- oh, the story about me getting into improv was that I was walking down the street and a racecar pulls up, and the guy says, 'Hey, you're funny. You're the funniest guy I've ever seen. Or my name is not Dale Earnhardt.' [laughs] And that, was an improv. [pause] Um, the real way was that I found a flyer. |
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| Jim Halpert: | It's true, I'm having a party. I've got three cases of imported beer, karaoke machine, and I didn't invite Michael... so, three ingredients for a great party. |
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| Jim Halpert: | Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun? |
| Angela: | I got sap on me. |
| Jim Halpert: | Chicken, hot dog, burger? |
| Angela: | I'm a vegetarian. |
| Jim: | There's soda inside. |
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| Michael Scott: | I do think I'm very approachable as one of the guys, but maybe I need to be even more approachabler. |
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| Michael Scott: | So Bernie's huh? We're all going to Bernie's? |
| Bill: | Oh, uh, sorry, we're not going as a group. It's just a private friend, who happens to know all of us from differnet ways, is throwing a private birthday thing, so... |
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| Michael Scott: | There's always a distance between a boss and the employees, its just nature's rule. It's intimidation mostly. It's the awareness that they are not me. |
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| Michael Scott: | Here is some wine; I would love a glass if you're going to open it. Hello Temp! Take my jacket! [throws jacket at Ryan] |
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| [from deleted scenes] | |
| Michael Scott: | Did you have Johnny Carson, in your... land? |
| IT Guy: | Pittsburgh? |
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| Michael Scott: | Oh no, everybody, Oscar's gone crazy. What other ghost stories do you have for us? That I'm a robot? I will destroy, everything, in my path, [makes robot sounds] oil can, Tin Man. |
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| Stanley: | I didn't think the premium laser color copy batch would see as well as it did. |
| Oscar: | It surprised us all and I'll tell you why- |
| Kelly: | I'm sorry guys. Can we please not talk about paper? There's gotta be something else we can talk about. |
| [silence] |
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| Michael Scott: | When people hear the term 'big brother' they immediately think it's bad or scary. I don't. I think, 'Wow, I love my big brother.' |
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| Pam Beesly: | Hey Dwight... um, my friend is kinda into these two girls that he works with, |
| Dwight Schrute: | Nice. |
| Pam Beesly: | One is tall and brunette, and the other one is short, and blond, and perky, and kinda judgmental. Who do you think he should choose? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Does he have access to their medical records? |
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| Michael & Jim: | [Michael and Jim singing at the karaoke] ... Divided together uh-huh... Making love with each other, uh-huh [Jim smiling at Pam] |
| Michael Scott: | [Cheerfully] We're making love! |
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| Jim Halpert: | Quick announcement, if I could have everybody's attention. We do have wine in the kitchen, and uh, there is beer available on the porch and despite what you all might think its not all for Meredith and Kelly, so please enjoy. |
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9 Comments in the Conference Room