Toby Quotes From The Office
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| Executive: | Let's make ten copies of this diary. |
| Toby: | Um, could you make it eleven? |
| Executive: | Eleven, sure. And we'll break for lunch so everyone can have a look. |
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| Michael Scott: | Toby can I really tell you anything? |
| Toby: | Of course. |
| Michael Scott: | Well the other night, I was sitting at the table eating my penis--I mean peas. That was weird. Ah that's weird. I think it all stems from the fact that I was... I was probed. By an alien life force. An A-L-F. ALF. You know I might've actually been probed by ALF. You might think he's a puppet. You never see the lower half but there's a lower half. |
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| Toby: | I'd say all the goofing around at Pam's desk an- and hanging out with Pam has finally caught up to him. You know w- with Pam. |
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| Toby: | I have an announcement, uh, to make. I am moving to Costa Rica. Thought about it for a long time now, and I'm finally gonna do it. So... I'm just gonna hop the fence and job home now. [runs out through door] |
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| [during safety training] | |
| Toby: | One thing you're going to want to look out for is carpal tunnel syndrome, so it's recommanded that you take a ten minute break from typing every hour. For your circulation, um, you're gonna wanna get up out of your chairs and move around about ten minutes every hour. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes. Good. Fine. Like stretching. |
| Toby: | Um, yeah. Your computer screen can be a big strain on your eyes, so it's also recommanded that you step away for about 10 minutes every hour. |
| Michael Scott: | Wow. That time really adds up. Like a half an hour every hour? |
| Darry: | Take them at the same time! |
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| Toby: | Technically, I am in Human Resouces, and Dwight was asking about human anotomy... I'm just sad the public school system failed him so badly. |
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| Toby Flenderson: | Well, you can actually fire him. |
| Michael Scott: | No...agh. Okay. I've had enough of you. |
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| Toby: | If we don't patronize the only Syrian restaurant in town, they'll be nothing left but pan pizzas and... you know, make your own salads. |