Pam Beesly Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: I know Jan didn't poison the food. I know that. But if she was going to poison the food of someone at that table, wouldn't it be me? Michael's former lover.
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Pam Beesly: Angela made several 911 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building. So the police put up a radar gun. It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard.
Dwight Schrute: [running] AHHHHH!!!
Phylis: Wow! Thirteen! [breaking Michael's previous record of 12]
Michael Scott: No, no. There was wind.
Dwight Schrute: I was just jogging.
Michael Scott: Dwight, there was wind. I want a do-over.
Jim Halpert: No. It's not your turn. Okay, thirteen is the new number. Oscar go ahead. [Oscar is preparing to run]
Michael Scott I want another try. Here we go. [Michael starts running just as a car drives by] Thirty-one! Thirty-one!
Stanley: That was the car.
Michael Scott: I was ahead of the car. Thirty-one is my new number.
Oscar: Thirty-one is humanly impossible.
Michael Scott: Go, Oscar. Thirty-one is my new number.
Oscar: That's impossible.
Michael Scott: Beat it!
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Pam Beesly: [over bluetooth, referring to Dwight] Describe him exactly. What color mustard is his shirt? Yellow or Dijon?
Jim Halpert: It is more a spicy brown actually.
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Michael Scott: Do you want me to stop dating your mom? Is that how we're going to get past this because I will!
Pam Beesly: Mmmmmm! Yes!
Michael Scott: Well that is not gonna happen!
Pam Beesly: Then why'd you even offer!
Michael Scott: 'Cause I assumed that you want me to be happy because I want you to be happy.
Pam Beesly: Michael. Let me make this very easy for you. I COULD GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOUR HAPPINESS. STOP DATING MY MOTHER!
Michael Scott: You know what, I'm gonna start dating her even harder.
Pam Beesly: What's that supposed to mean.
Michael Scott: You know what it means.
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Pam Beesly: You do realize we can't serve liquor at the party.
Michael Scott: Yeah I know, damnit. Stupid corporate wet-blankets. Like booze ever killed anybody.
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Angela: Pet Day. I want Pet Day back. No dogs.
Kevin: Put everything back in the vending machine, except the fruit.
Pam Beesly: You have to get rid of all your weapons. All of them. Including Killer Fish.
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Pam Beesly ...Your keyboard has more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat.
Kelly I hear your momma has more bacteria per square inch than a toilet seat!
Michael Scott Oh, that's true! I dated her momma, and you know wha--
Jim Halpert --Stop.
Michael Scott ...no, right.
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Pam Beesly: Hey, how you doing?
Daryl: Been thinking about my grandmother a lot.
Pam Beesly: Yeah..
Daryl: She was about to turn 97.
Pam Beesly: At least she lived a very long and I'm sure very happy life.
Daryl: Hmm.
Pam Beesly: Got you this card. When you're ready, we all signed it. We just want you to know we're thinking about you.
Daryl: Thank you. [Now reading card] 'Congratulations Daryl, let's get wasted. Have fun today big guy. Oh yeah, party time. Whoop. Whoop.'
Pam Beesly: It's possible that some people thought it was your birthday.
Daryl: [Continues reading] ' Hooray, live it up Big D. Days like this don't come up for a long time, to celebrate. You deserve this.'
Dwight Schrute: [Blows on a noisemaker and wearing a birthday hat]
Andy: Birthday punches! [starts punching Daryl in the gut while Daryl's eyes water] 1! 2! 3! 4! 5! 6! 7! 8! 9! 10! 11! 12! 13! 14! 15! 16! 17! 18! 19! 20! 21! 22! 23! 24! 25!
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Pam Beesly: Yeah! I'm gonna do some mock-ups. And then turn those into thumbnails, and then do some, uh... splash frames? I don't know what I'm talking about but I'm excited.
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Michael Scott: I am going to tell her that I need to redecorate my condo and I need her help. We will haggle about money and I will back down. And then I won't talk to her until this whole Cynthia thing has blown over.
Pam Beesly: Michael please don't--
Michael Scott: [picks up phone] Hey what up Cynthia? [covers the mic in shock for a minute] Just hang on a second Cynthia.
[Jim hangs up the phone]
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Jim Halpert: What did I do to deserve this?
Pam Beesly: Are you sad that Dwight beat you?
Jim Halpert: No.
Pam Beesly: Are you going to cry Jim? Do you need a tissue?
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Jim Halpert: [quickly] I walked in on someone in the bathroom.
Pam Beesly: What?
Jim Halpert: I just walked in on someone in the bathroom.
Pam Beesly: Who?
Jim Halpert: I donno.
Pam Beesly: The--
Jim Halpert: I donno.
Pam Beesly: The guy we're meeting with?
Jim Halpert: I donno. I donno.
[Jim pulls Pam away]
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