Pam Beesly Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: They have new phone systems now, that can ring directly to a salesman, or someone presses star and they go to accounting. Basically ninety-five percent of my job. But I'd like to see a machine that puts out candy for everyone. [long pause] Vending machine.
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Jim Halpert: Look. I know. I bought this without asking you and, it doesn't, look great. I know that. And if you really hate it, I totally understand. It's just--
Pam Beesly: I love it.
Jim Halpert: You do.
Pam Beesly: Yeah. I love it!
Jim Halpert: Really?
Pam Beesly: [freaking out] I mean you bought me a house!
Jim Halpert: Oh my God.
Pam Beesly: You bought me a house!
Jim Halpert: [beaming] Yeah. I did.
[Pam kisses Jim]
Pam Beesly: Oh. Do we have to sleep in your parents' bedroom?
Jim Halpert: No. No we'll just board that up. It'll be that weird spare room that people ask us about.
Pam Beesly: And the clown?
Jim Halpert: Yeah I really can't move him.
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Pam Beesly: We haven't told anyone that I'm pregnant.
Jim Halpert: Well with her being unmarried. Knocked up by some guy... The yackety yacks in this office would have a field day.
Pam Beesly: And we don't want them at the wedding thinking Jim's being marched down the aisle by my dad with a shotgun.
Jim Halpert: Wait there's not going to be a shotgun?
Pam Beesly: No.
Jim Halpert: No shotgun. 'Cause that changes everything.
Pam Beesly: Can't back out now, Halpert.
Jim Halpert: What are you gonna do about it? There's no shotgun so. "Free at last free at last."
Pam Beesly: No, keep it up.
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Jim Halpert: Andy put down a bunch of deposits on stuff for his wedding with Angela but then she was sleeping with Dwight for... several years. Wait, no that's can't be right.
Pam Beesly: The timeline's messy.
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Michael Scott: You remember Holly? She used to work for HR.
Pam Beesly: No. Remind me.
Michael Scott: Blond hair. Nice, boobs. Not too big, not too small.
Pam Beesly: Perfect boobs. Of course, I remember Holly.
Michael Scott: She was the love of my life. What you and Jim had times a hundred.
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Michael Scott: [imitating Meryl Streep] Get me Armani.
Pam Beesly: A suit?
Michael Scott: On the phone!
Pam Beesly: Like the main company number 'cause I'm going to have to call information--
Michael Scott: Where's Armani? He's on the phone. Too slow. [whispers] You're not going to Paris! I'm so much better then you are.
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Pam Beesly: Michael. Do you remember you specifically told me to bring one sheet of paper. You said it only takes one sheet to make a difference. I said, 'are you sure Michael?' And you said, 'Pam! Pam! Pam!' And then you sneezed in my tea and then you said, 'don't worry it's just allergies.' Do you remember that?
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Michael Scott: Tonight we will be hosting at Louie Volpies!
Kevin: Nice!
Phyllis: I love their breadsticks!
Pam Beesly: Oh their breadsticks are like crack!
Ryan: I love when people say "like crack" when they've obviously never done crack.
Pam Beesly: Well, the breadsticks are like what then, Ryan, what can I use?
Ryan: I don't know, something from your world. The breadsticks are like scrapbooking.
Pam Beesly: You're right, you're right. I'm a middle class broad.
Michael Scott: Shh shh! Okay, okay. Everybody's right. They're like breadsticks on steroids. Right?
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Pam Beesly: Hey Dwight... um, my friend is kinda into these two girls that he works with,
Dwight Schrute: Nice.
Pam Beesly: One is tall and brunette, and the other one is short, and blond, and perky, and kinda judgmental. Who do you think he should choose?
Dwight Schrute: Does he have access to their medical records?
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Michael Scott: I was also hoping to hand the giant cheque to a rabies doctor. How's that going?
Pam Beesly: Not well. A doctor won't come out to collect a cheque for 700 dollars. Or 500 dollars if we go with the giant cheque. And also, there is no such thing as a rabies doctor.
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Pam Beesly: Angela made several 911 calls about cars going too fast in front of the building. So the police put up a radar gun. It's actually caused a bit of a traffic hazard.
Dwight Schrute: [running] AHHHHH!!!
Phylis: Wow! Thirteen! [breaking Michael's previous record of 12]
Michael Scott: No, no. There was wind.
Dwight Schrute: I was just jogging.
Michael Scott: Dwight, there was wind. I want a do-over.
Jim Halpert: No. It's not your turn. Okay, thirteen is the new number. Oscar go ahead. [Oscar is preparing to run]
Michael Scott I want another try. Here we go. [Michael starts running just as a car drives by] Thirty-one! Thirty-one!
Stanley: That was the car.
Michael Scott: I was ahead of the car. Thirty-one is my new number.
Oscar: Thirty-one is humanly impossible.
Michael Scott: Go, Oscar. Thirty-one is my new number.
Oscar: That's impossible.
Michael Scott: Beat it!
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Michael Scott: I am going to tell her that I need to redecorate my condo and I need her help. We will haggle about money and I will back down. And then I won't talk to her until this whole Cynthia thing has blown over.
Pam Beesly: Michael please don't--
Michael Scott: [picks up phone] Hey what up Cynthia? [covers the mic in shock for a minute] Just hang on a second Cynthia.
[Jim hangs up the phone]
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