Creed Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | I am just a net, that traps all of your crappy subconscious ideas, and adds a little bit of my own childhood memories and whimzy so-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Ok, well I, lost a ton of money today and I have a mortgage so I'm a little pissed too. |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you. Jim is with me! |
| Jim Halpert: | Absolutely not. I'm mad at you. |
| Michael Scott: | Well you know what Jim, it is not my fault that you bought a house to impress Pam. That is why carnations exist. |
| Creed: | That's not why. |
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| Creed: | Beautiful morning at Dunder MIfflin. Or as I like to call it, Great Bratton. |
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| Creed: | Be cool Michael. I saw this guy kill a bunch of people. |
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| Creed: | The only difference between me and a homeless man is this job. I will do whatever it takes to survive. Like I did, when I was a homeless man. |
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| Michael Scott: | You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser. |
| Creed: | My tombstone's already been made, thank you. |
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| Phyllis: | Where's your place? |
| Jim Halpert: | [awkwardly] Oh, it's on, uh, Lyndon Ave.? By the quarry? |
| Phyllis: | [disappointingly] Oh. |
| Creed: | Cool beans man. I live by the quarry. We should hang out by the quarry and throw things down there! |
| Jim Halpert: | Definitely we should. |
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| Michael Scott: | [to Meredith] Everyone in this room loves you. But mark my words, we are not going to support your alcoholism anymore. The next time you light yourself on fire, we are not going to help put you out. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ohhh as fire marshal I would have to. |
| Michael Scott: | Dwight! |
| Dwight Schrute: | She is a hazard to the other people of the office. |
| Michael Scott: | [sighs] |
| Dwight Schrute: | I suppose I could do it if it was a controlled burn in a well ventilated area. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah you're going to need a permit for that. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh right. That'll take a couple of weeks. |
| Creed: | I could get you one in an hour. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Really? |
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| Pam Halpert: | No laughing. No comments. Just positive energy and we'll have a pure fun day. Okay? |
| Creed: | Thanks mom. |
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| Ryan: | Do you love her, or do you love the idea of her. |
| Creed: | I don't know man. I just don't know. |
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| Michael Scott: | And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who's seen that before? |
| Creed: | I have. That's the Union of the Monkey. |
| Meredith: | Ohh, that's what they call it. |
| Kevin: | This is the best meeting we have ever had. |
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| Creed: | I remember it was very late at night, like eleven, eleven-thirty. Big fella comes in, screaming about God knows what. I think maybe Halpert had stolen his car, something like that. So the big fella pulls out a sock filled with nickels, then Schrute, grabs a can of hairspray and a lighter- |
| Angela: | You're useless. |
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| Creed: | Baby. You want to play with this? |
| Karen: | You can't give paper clips to a baby. He could swallow it. |
| Creed: | Oh, it's okay. I've got tons of them. |