Creed Quotes From The Office

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Creed: Boboddy, boboddy. What does the first B stand for?
Pam Beesly: What are we doing?
Creed: We're making acronyms. Okay. What does the first B stand for?
Kevin: Um... Business.
Creed: I... like it!
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Kevin: Jim has got it bad for Pam.
Creed: Oooh! ...Which one is Pam?
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Creed: [coming out of the conference room with Gabe] I'm very relieved to learn it wasn't you.
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Oscar Martinez: Hey, where's Dwight?
Jim Halpert: You didn't hear?
Creed Bratton: Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
Jim Halpert: I'm pretty sure none of that's real.
Creed Bratton: YOU'RE NOT REAL, MAN!
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[deleted scenes]
Jim Halpert: What are you doing?
Creed: [while unbuttoning his shirt] We're not playing Strip-Pong?
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Creed: Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? [whispering] Creed Bratton.
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Michael Scott: You're gonna somersault around for the rest of you life, and you know what's going to be on your tombstone? Loser.
Creed: My tombstone's already been made, thank you.
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Trivia announcer Alright, first question, everyone: Ray Charles famously had this state on his mind. What is its capital?
Andy Bernard Oh, we got this!
Creed Let's reverse engineer this. You're a black singer. Where do you go? Somewhere where you're a novelty! Alaska?
Stanley Atlanta.
Phyllis Oh, I know you think that because that's where the Olympics were held.
Stanley Keep talkin' all you want.
Kevin How am I supposed to know what was on his mind? Ooh, what do blind people think about?
Erin Ok.. Dogs, canes, signs, manholes, stairs, piano, darkness.
Trivia announcer Ok, time's up. Let's get the boards up.
[Everyone holds up their signs. Everyone except Kevin's group gets it right. Kevin wrote: "What is... SEE-attle"]
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Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist, I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Jim Halpert: Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan.
Michael Scott: No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS.
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: What?
Phyllis: Afghani.
Michael Scott: That's a dog.
Pam Beasley: No, that's Afghan.
Michael Scott: That's a shawl.
Dwight Schrute: Wait, canine AIDS?
Michael Scott: No, humans with AIDS.
Creed: Who has AIDS?
Jim Halpert: Guys, the Afghanistanannis.
Michael Scott: Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried.
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Michael Scott: And another thing about the Indian people, they love sex positions. I present to you the Kama Sutra. I mean look at that. Who's seen that before?
Creed: I have. That's the Union of the Monkey.
Meredith: Ohh, that's what they call it.
Kevin: This is the best meeting we have ever had.
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Phyllis: I never see him drink. I never see him eat.
Stanley: I don't think he even uses the bathroom.
Creed: Oh he does. He does.
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