Creed Quotes From The Office
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| [trying to repack a box] | |
| Oscar: | Did we try printer first? Shredder at an angle? Fax, cable, then the scanner upside down? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yes. |
| Creed: | Have you tried making everything smaller. |
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| Michael Scott: | [on his cellphone] No, I'll talk to her. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. Alright. Bye, Pickle. [hangs up and walks into the conference room] Pamela Morgan Beesly you need to apologize to your mother right now. |
| Angela: | I'm sorry, I was told I have the floor. |
| Oscar: | Whoa hold on, hold on. What's going on? |
| Jim Halpert: | Nothing! Nothing at all. "It's all goood." |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology. |
| Michael Scott: | For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover? |
| Pam Beesly: | Don't call my mother your lover! |
| Kevin: | Yes! That's what I'm talking about. |
| Andy: | That is not ok dude! |
| Michael Scott: | Ok, in my defence-- |
| Phyllis: | Disgusting. |
| Creed: | That's messed up man. |
| Pam Beesly: | Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell! |
| Oscar: | You have no sense of boundaries, Michael. |
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| Michael Scott: | Phyllis. |
| Phyllis: | Oh no, they're still not done. |
| Michael Scott: | No no no, let me see. [picks up the mostly knitted mittens] Oh Phyllis, nice try. I love 'em. [waves goodbye to her with the mittens] [Michael begins walking out the office, he takes one last look at all his friends to see them working, and Jim looking back, teary eyed] |
| Creed: | [drinking from Michael's World's Best Boss mug] See ya tomorrow boss! |
| Michael Scott: | Later guys. [leaves the office] |
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| Angela: | I am proud to announce there is a new addition to the Martin family. She's hypoallergenic, she doesn't struggle when you try to dress her, she's a third generation show-cat, her father was in Meet the Parents. Needless to say she was very, very expensive. |
| Meredith: | How much-- |
| Angela: | Seven thousand dollars. |
| Creed: | For a cat? I could get you a kid for that. |
| Oscar: | Where'd you get that kind of money? |
| Angela: | I sold Andy's engagement ring on eBay. |
| Kevin: | Wait-- you didn't give it back? |
| Angela: | He wouldn't have wanted that. Her name, is Princess Lady! |
| Meredith: | Seven grand! I gotta see that little bitch. |
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| Phyllis: | I never see him drink. I never see him eat. |
| Stanley: | I don't think he even uses the bathroom. |
| Creed: | Oh he does. He does. |
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| Rose: | Ok. You didn't maintain a hundred beats per minute. And the ambulance didn't arrive because no body called 911. So you lost 'em. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ok. He's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose? |
| Rose: | I have no idea. |
| Phyllis: | We bury him. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one we only have minutes to harvest. |
| Creed: | He has no wallet, I checked. |
| Michael Scott: | He is an organ donor. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [excitedly] He is? Give me some ice in a Styrofoam bucket. [removes a hunting knife from his ankle and cuts open the dummy] We search for the organs! [digging around inside] Where's the heart? The precious heart. |
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| Jim Halpert: | [talking head interview] Ever since Pam and I started dating, I just, feel weird asking her to make copies for me. So, I make my own copies. And that copier, sucks. Let me tell you-- but you know what? Pam and I don't have to agree on everything. |
| [cut to office] | |
| Meredith: | Jim, good for you standing up to Pam like that. |
| Creed: | The balls on you, man. |
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| Creed: | Andrea's the uh, office bitch. You'll get used to her. |
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| Creed: | Nobody steals from Creed Bratton and gets away with it. The last person to do this disappeared. His name? [whispering] Creed Bratton. |
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| Ryan: | What I really want, honestly, Michael is for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, whomever. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh okay. |
| Ryan: | What? |
| Michael Scott: | It's whoever, not whomever. |
| Ryan: | It's whomever. |
| Michael Scott: | No, whomever is never acutally right. |
| Jim Halpert: | Nope, sometimes it's right. |
| Creed: | Michael is right. It's a made up word used to trick students- |
| Andy: | No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word-- |
| Oscar: | Obviously it's a real word- but I don't know how to use it correctly. |
| Michael Scott: | [to camera] Not a native speaker. |
| Kevin: | I know what's right. But I'm not gonna say. Because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night. |
| Ryan: | Do you really know which one is correct? |
| Kevin: | I don't know. |
| Pam Beesly: | It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when as the subject. |
| Phyllis: | That sounds right. |
| Michael Scott: | Well it sounds right but is it? |
| Stanley: | How did Ryan use it, as an object? |
| Ryan: | As an object. |
| Kelly: | Ryan used me as an object. |
| Oscar: | Is he right about that-- |
| Pam Beesly: | How did he use it again? |
| Toby: | It was, Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object-- |
| Michael Scott: | Thank you! |
| Toby: | ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object. Which is the, the correct usage of the word. |
| Michael Scott: | No one, uh asked you anything ever so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull? |
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| Michael Scott: | Okay, you know what? I will not donate my winnings to Comic Relief. Since, apparently, it doesn't exist, I am going to donate to Afghanistanis with AIDS. |
| Jim Halpert: | Whoa, I think you mean the Aid to Afghanistan. |
| Michael Scott: | No, I mean Afghanistanis with AIDS. |
| Phyllis: | Afghani. |
| Michael Scott: | What? |
| Phyllis: | Afghani. |
| Michael Scott: | That's a dog. |
| Pam Beasley: | No, that's Afghan. |
| Michael Scott: | That's a shawl. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Wait, canine AIDS? |
| Michael Scott: | No, humans with AIDS. |
| Creed: | Who has AIDS? |
| Jim Halpert: | Guys, the Afghanistanannis. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, you know what? No, no. AIDS is not funny. Believe me, I have tried. |
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| Creed: | If I can't scuba then what's this all been about?? What am I working toward? |