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I love love love this episode! I just laughed out loud -- right here at my computer --. My dog is looking at me kind of weirdly. :D

I completely agree..this is probably my favorite episode! It's hilarious!

It's great! I totally wasn't expecting the return of Elizabeth the stripper! (I think that's her name)

It is such a funny episode! I love how Michael thinks 5k is 5000 miles!

i cant beat rabies!!!! michael is awesome

Michael's reluctant explanation of how Meredith got hit by a car was the most amazing thing I have ever heard

I like how Stanley got mad at how Michael described her recovery. It's rare to even hear him speak and when he does he's usually on a tear! Hilarious.

I think that was the best season opener yet -- and they did a great job of keeping it a surprise. It was such a shock to hear the "THUMP" and see Meredith roll off the trunk.

Can someone explain this to me: Pam ACTUALLY bought a celebrity sex tape? I don't understand that. Is it a joke or are we supposed to actually believe she was at work buying this sort of stuff. That seems sort of far fetched.

I still can't believe no one's mentioned how ridiculous Andy's bloody nipples are!

I agree with marc, what was with her buying the sex tape? it was somewhat amusing, but seemed out of place on the show.

secondly, i had the biggest grin when you got the view of jim and pam from the back and they started holding hands. toooo cute. :)

I love this episode. 5K is not 5000 miles!

Some great lines to kick off the season! We got some great single lines from this one. I agree- the sex tape was a little confusing. "It happened so fast!" haha...

I think it was supposed to be a joke for the IT guy or something. I'm not sure though, it was a little confusing. It was agreat start to the season though.

One of the greatest Office moments ever: Andy's bloody nipples

i love when michaels says myth: 3 ppl a yr die from rabies fact: 4 ppl a yr die from rabies. and then the part when he's talking bout rabies and darrly is feeding the squirrel

Definately the best season premire and possibly the best episode. =)

Hell yes, how many of you know someone who has rabies, 1, 2 , too many to count. Michael is an idiot. Oh and your cat is dead.

i cant believe dwight mercy killed angela's cat!

so many things to comment on 1)5k is 5000 miles! 2) so happy for ryan and i hope that he becomes as obnoxious to michael as possible 3) stanley first line is brilliant 4) what is we're fine 5) jealously amongst angela's cats 6) michael throws daryll out the window 7) stanley's second line is amazing 8) occasionally i'll hit someone with my car

an amazing start to an excellent season

what about the quote where michael discrobes the creature lol the head of a mercat

i don't even know how many times ive watched this episode!! i love it! every time i see michael hit meredith with the car i loose it! "with the energy we r using to keep meredith alive we could power a small fan 4 2 days... u tell me whats unethical..." i love it!

Ok look, gasp if you must, raise your eyebrows in disdain, roll your eyes until you get dizzy and fall over... but I didn't even know there was a show called "The Office" until I happened thru the den to find my 15 year old son was gasping and falling off of the couch, and yet in my preparation to perform the Heimlich maneuver on him, I get caught up in this thing on TV about rabies, a race... I think at first it's some unusual documentary... but I can't help laughing (as irreverant as it seemed at the time), and gasping for my breath, falling off of the couch... oh yeah, my son!!! Uh-hem... turns out, he was not actually gasping from asphyxiation by some morsel of food, but from laughter. Sheer uncontrollable laughter, brought on by complete lunacy on the tube, and I was unable to save him from it, being no better off myself, as it were. I've been hooked ever since.

I LOVE this episode!!!!!! It's definitly one of my favorites!!!!! I like Michael's quote "Myth: 3 people a year die from Rabies. Fact: 4 people every year die from Rabies." and Darryl is feeling the squirrel. And then I Like the part where Jim and Pam stop by the sale and Jim's like "What if I told you that all the money you spend here goes to prevent a disease that's already been cured?".

i think its funny how he always shows his thing to pam

Best quote ever!!

the moment i saw micheal hit meredith with his car and seeing her thru the windsheild, i never laughed soo hard in my life!

I personally thought the whole atonement and sacrificing thing was one of the funniest parts. wish they had that quote here

OMG i love it:P Michael sometimes doesn't get it...lol:)

I love how Pam has to answer the phone in this! lol Michael is so ignorant sometimes!

1. *Upon walking into his bedroom and looking at Jan, sprawled out on the bed, frizzy-haired and probably drooling*
"This is why I do it all. This...is what I have to come home to. (pause)... yeah she probably won't be up for another few hours."

2.
I.T. guy: "What was the purchase?"
Pam: "It was for a..um..celebrity sex tape."
Jim: "Really. How much did you pay for it?"
Pam: "Not relevant."
Jim: "You paid for it!?"
Pam: "It all happened so fast!"

3.
Michael: Yeah..kind of a good news / bad news . I...was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her."
Jim: "Who was driving?"
Michael: *Makes his signature bite-the-lip-look-at-the-floor face*
Pam: "Oh Michael."

3.
Jim: "One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway...I wonder who he ran over then."

4.
Dwight: It was only Meredith.
Michael: Yeah but did you see the way they looked at me? Like I was a murderer.
Dwight: Hey...why did you do it? Was she talking back? Did ya get sick of that face? Uhoh..is this downsizing?

6.
*After Angela says she'll be visiting Meredith at the hosp.*
Dwight: Check to see if she's faking. Car hit me, it wouldn't crack my pelvis. YOu know what, I bet she cracked it at home. Jumped in front of a car to get some workers comp."
Angela: "I wouldn't put it past her."

7.
Michael: I have an announcement.
Oscar: You pushed Darryl out the window?
Phyllis: You shot Dwight?"
Michael: I love all of my employees. Even though I hit one of you with my car.

8.
(my personal fave)
Michael: Guess what. I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No...don't...don't sue me."

9.
Michael: ..Cause you know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness. It's next to Godliness.
Everyone: No...that's cleanliness.
Michael: Well just shhhhhhh. Shht.

10.
Michael: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be liked..but..it's not like this compulsive neeed to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

11.
*After Dwight informed Angela that her cat had passed away*
Angela: How was she looking? Like, *sob*, when you saw her how did she look?
Dwight: Really dead. Like just a dead cat.
*Angela sobs*
Dwight: Hey...don't be sad. Come on. She's in a better place. Oh...actually the place she's in is the freezer. Cause of the odor.."

12.
Michael: Did anyone do anything involving a Indian burial ground? Like park on it? Or dig up a body? Toby...anything you want to tell us?
Michael: I'm not superstitious. But...I'm a little stitious.

13.
Dwight: As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its' misery. With the electricity that we're using to keep Meredith alive we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what's unethical."
(talking to Meredith)
"Blink once if you want me to pull the plug."

14.
Michael: "Is there a God? If not...what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus's dad?"

15.
*Answering the phone*
Pam: "Michael Scott's Dunder Miflin Scranton Meredith Palmer memorial celebrity rabies awareness fun run race for the cure, this is Pam."

Michael: "How many of you know someone who has been affected by rabies?" (everyone who knows Meredith raises their hand) "one two three too many to count! It's truly the silent killer."

16.
Michael:
"I can't beat rabies. No one can beat rabies."

Sorry we were not able to answer the phone right now currently the dunder miffliin crew is participating in michael Scotts dunder miflin scranton meredith palmer memorial celebrity rabies awareness fun run race *micheals voice* for the cure

Great, great episode. I love how Dwight shot a real gun off at the beginning of the race.

"He couldn't have made it a circle?" So did they have to walk the 5k BACK to the office? Lmao