Angela Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | Oh, lunch party. |
| Angela: | It's supposed to say 'launch!' |
| Michael Scott: | Wow. Okay easy, Booster Seat. No one cares about this party anyway. |
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| [Michael is making farting noises] | |
| Toby: | Come on Michael. You're interrupting. |
| Michael Scott: | You're kidding me! God! You say radon is silent but deadly and then you expect me not to make farting noises with my mouth? What is this! You know what we're not going to die of radon we're going to die of boredom. |
| [office laughs] | |
| Michael Scott: | Right? And if I had a gun, with two bullets, and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice. |
| [disapproval from everyone] | |
| Dwight Shrute: | You were being really funny, and then you went too far. |
| Michael Scott: | I would kill Bin Laden and then Toby. |
| Dwight Shrute: | No, it's still... |
| Michael Scott: | OK geniuses how would you do it? |
| Creed: | Curve the bullet, like in my favorite James McAvoy film, um, Wanted. |
| Oscar: | All that does is help you shoot around things. When there's Bin Laden-- |
| Ryan: | Is there a curtain rod in the room. |
| Michael Scott: | I donno. |
| Stanley: | How 'bout make believe land has anyyything you want. |
| Jim Halpert: | Stanley please. This is serious. |
| Angela: | Is this the thing where they use an icicle so there's no evidence. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes, we should stab Toby through the heart with an icicle. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Come on, the whole two bullet thing is a red herring. Here's how you do it, you line them all up, you take one bullet shoot them all through the throat at the same time. [stands up] Watch this, Phyllis, you're Hitler, come up here. Toby, you're Toby. Andy, you're Bin Laden. Line up. Throats together. |
| Toby: | I don't wanna do this. |
| Michael Scott: | Toby just do it! God! |
| Dwight Shrute: | [holding his fingers like a gun to Phyllis' throat] Ready? One bullet, and, boom! [shows bullet travelling through Toby and Andy's necks] |
| Michael Scott: | [the office applauds] It works! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Give me the punch card. |
| Angela: | No. If you want to punch the punch card, you have to take me to the show. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That is not in the contract. |
| Angela: | Well, there's a lot of gray area in that clause. Do you want to re-mediate? |
| Dwight Schrute: | All right, fine! I'll go to your little show. But I'm not wearing a cape. |
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| Michael Scott: | [laughing, taking over from Jim] That was good. Ok, alright. Well, we all know it's hard to be a boss, right? You know what? Look around you. These are your best friends. These are the people! Who will open their hearts, to you. They, all, have heart-ons for you. [Angela gives a sigh of disgust off camera] And that is a gift. So in terms of gifts, we should be giving each other gifts. Angela, yes, lend Oscar a cup of sugar. |
| Angela: | What are you talking about! Michael! |
| Stanley: | We just need to hear your plan for our raise. |
| Michael Scott: | My plan... A man. Panama. |
| Andy: | That's not how that goes. |
| Meredith: | You're not saying anything. At least Jim was being direct-- |
| Jim Halpert: | Thank you, Meredith. |
| Meredith: | When he was telling us his dumb-ass plan. |
| Oscar: | We would just like to know what's happening. Are we getting a raise. Yes, or no. |
| Michael Scott: | Alright let me get this clear. Does everybody want a raise? |
| Everyone: | Yes! |
| Michael Scott: | Alright everyone wants a raise so what we're going to do is go into here, and we will not come out until we do. |
| Oscar: | Again that gives us no information. |
| Phyllis: | [as Jim and Michael enter the conference room] This isn't a game you know it's our livelihoooood! |
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| Oscar: | You have your cats on Nanny Cam. |
| Angela: | Yeah! I mean I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat but I'm out of vacation days. And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean somebody has a kid, oh sure, take off a year. |
| Meredith: | She's right I had my second kid just for the vacation. |
| Angela: | Right! Anyways, I just want to make sure Princess Lady is acclimating well. She means more to me than anyone. |
| Kevin: | Any cat, you mean. |
| Angela: | And person. |
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| Angela: | It's not a surprise to me. Pam is the office mattress. |
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| Angela: | You may ask me out to dinner. Nothing fancy or foreign. No bars. No patios. No vegetables. And no seafood. |
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| Angela: | Poop is raining from the ceiling. Poop! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Prison Mike, what's the very very worst thing about prison? |
| Angela: | Don't encourage him, Dwight. |
| Michael Scott: | The worst thing about prison was the... was the dementors. They were flying all over the place and they were scary and then they'd come down and they'd suck the soul out of your body. And it hurt! |
| Karen: | Dementors like in Harry Potter? |
| Michael Scott: | No, not Harry Potter. |
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| Angela: | [cats meowing in background][on Nanny-Cam] Where is that bad cat? Oh, you know who you are. Excuse me, Petals, I'm looking for Mr. Ash. He's a bad cat. Bad, bad cat. Do you hear me? Bad. Yeah, you were bad. No, you look at me when I talk to you. Do you hear me, Mr. Ash? You look at me. 'Cause I'm talking to you right now. |
| Oscar: | [chuckles] |
| Kevin: | [snickers] |
| Angela: | [meows like a cat, then hisses] |
| Kevin: | This is getting weird. |
| Oscar: | Is she cleaning the cat with her tongue? [Angela licks cat, meows] |
| Kevin: | Ohhh... |