Ryan Quotes From The Office
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| Stanley: | [misinterpreting Jim's joke] The hell you will! I worked for the last boss for 15 years. According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years if I want to keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, which I intend to. |
| Ryan: | [In a high-pitched voice] Oh no, Stanley, you'll live forever. |
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| Ryan Howard: | What you gotta do, is you gotta go down to that warehouse and you gotta crack some skulls. Chiklis style. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. The Commish. |
| Ryan Howard: | Yes but, Chiklis, Shield style. Not Commish style. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah yeah. The Shield. |
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| Michael Scott: | What advice you seek? ...Do you know who that is? |
| Ryan: | Fozzy bear? |
| Michael Scott: | Mmmm no, no, it's yoda. |
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| Ryan: | Hey guys! What's happening? How's my favorite branch doing! |
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| Ryan: | [breaks off kissing] I can't do this. |
| Kelly: | Can't do what? |
| Ryan: | It's not fair to you. And it's really not fair to me. |
| Kelly: | What are you saying? I broke up with Darryl so I could be with you. |
| Ryan: | That was your choice. Don't put that on me. I'm just going on a little trip. |
| Kelly: | Oh can I come? |
| Ryan: | It's not that kind of trip. I'm going to Thailand with some friends from high school. Well, a high school. And if I don't do it now I'll never get to go. And I'll always resent you for it. You don't want me to resent you do you? |
| Kelly: | So you're dumping me? |
| Ryan: | Let's me adults about this. Let's have sex one more time, and if you have any extra cash that would be amazing. |
| Kelly: | ... okay. |
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| Ryan Howard: | I'm getting paid to skip lunch, right? |
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| Michael Scott: | Ed's Tires. Why don't you tell them, that we have fewer clients, so that we can spend more time with each of them. Also, [reading from a Rolodex card] try to discuss it over Indian food, and try to mention how you distrust women. |
| Pam Beesly: | I'm not going to do that. |
| Michael Scott: | That is smart. That would not seem genuine. Ryan? |
| Ryan: | I can get there. |
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| Ryan: | Heard you guys were looking for cash, for the wedding? |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, I mean, if it's all the same for you. |
| Ryan: | Question for you. Would you guys rather have a hundred dollars now, or five thousand dollars a year from now. |
| Pam Beesly: | A hundred dollars now, for sure. |
| Ryan: | Because you just give me fifty dollars to cover the broker fee. I put in a hundred of my own money, as the gift-- |
| Pam Beesly: | Yeah, no. I'll uh--the hundred. I'll just take the hundred. |
| Ryan: | Instead of five thousand dollars a year from now? |
| Pam Beesly: | How sure is this? |
| [cut to talking head] | |
| Pam Beesly: | The guy has an algorithm to determine the winner of any given college basketball game. [thinks for a moment] Don't tell Jim. |