Ryan Quotes From The Office
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| Trivia announcer | Excuse me, sir, on the Dunder Mifflin A team... excuse me, sir... I'm sure you're just checking your Grindr account... [the gay crowd laughs] but you can't check smart phones during trivia. It's against the rules. |
| Ryan Howard | Ok... I'm turning it off. |
| Trivia announcer | Ok, you're not turning it off. |
| Ryan Howard | I won't look at it... |
| Trivia announcer | Sir... |
| Ryan Howard | I can't, I can't not touch it. |
| Trivia announcer | Ok, we're just gonna take it away. [Ryan hands over phone reluctantly] Thank you. |
| Ryan Howard | [Gets up and leaves] I can't, I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. I want to be with my phone... |
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| Ryan: | Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores. Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learn more from Dr. Seuss than Dr. Freud. Earth. You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. [off-camera] I donno just use the best one. |
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| Ryan: | Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me, seems... excessive. |
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| Dwight Shrute: | Why is everyone clumped around accounting? Break it up you clique! |
| Ryan: | It's Kevin as Cookie Monster from Sesame Street. |
| Dwight Shrute: | Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio? |
| Phyllis: | Mhm. |
| Dwight Shrute: | I love that show. |
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| Ryan: | Did you see Saw? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Of course I see-saw. Mose and I see-saw all the time. |
| Ryan: | No, uh, the movie. Did you see, the movie Saw. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a see-saw. |
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| Michael Scott: | Calling cards are the wave of the future. These things sell themselves. |
| Ryan: | Who uses calling cards anymore? |
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| Ryan: | I want an outsider. |
| Jim Halpert: | Perfect. There are several outside candidates that we think would be really... |
| Ryan: | No, I mean an ousider. Like someone on the margins of society. Who doesn't see things like we do. Like a homeless person. |
| Pam Beesly: | A homeless person. Really? A homeless person. |
| Ryan: | No, you're right, Pam. Let's just leave them to the welfare system. Let that handle it. |
| Pam Beesly: | No, I want you to say that you think the best person to be or new manager is a homeless person. |
| Ryan: | Let me guess who you want Pam. Rachael Ray, the ladies of The View. |
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| Pam Beesly: | Hey Ryan! |
| Ryan: | [walks in typing to Blackberry] Hello, one second. [returns to blackberry] Hey Pam it's great to see you is Michael in? |
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| [as voices behind the cubicle] | |
| Kelly: | You are so mean. |
| Ryan: | I don't know what you're talking about. |
| Kelly: | Yes you do, Ryan Bailey Howard. You called me stupid. |
| Ryan: | No I said your idea is stupid. |
| Kelly: | What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher? Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapour. |
| Ryan: | Don't you see why that's insane? |
| Kelly: | Oh, so I'm crazy now? |