Ryan Quotes From The Office

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Trivia announcer Excuse me, sir, on the Dunder Mifflin A team... excuse me, sir... I'm sure you're just checking your Grindr account... [the gay crowd laughs] but you can't check smart phones during trivia. It's against the rules.
Ryan Howard Ok... I'm turning it off.
Trivia announcer Ok, you're not turning it off.
Ryan Howard I won't look at it...
Trivia announcer Sir...
Ryan Howard I can't, I can't not touch it.
Trivia announcer Ok, we're just gonna take it away. [Ryan hands over phone reluctantly] Thank you.
Ryan Howard [Gets up and leaves] I can't, I can't not have my phone. I'm sorry. I want to be with my phone...
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Ryan: Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients. Therapists are whores. Psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learn more from Dr. Seuss than Dr. Freud. Earth. You don't have to be crazy to live here, but it helps. [off-camera] I donno just use the best one.
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Ryan: Angela drafted me into the party planning committee. Her memo said that we need to prepare for every possible disaster. Which to me, seems... excessive.
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Dwight Shrute: Why is everyone clumped around accounting? Break it up you clique!
Ryan: It's Kevin as Cookie Monster from Sesame Street.
Dwight Shrute: Is that the program where all those puppets live in the barrio?
Phyllis: Mhm.
Dwight Shrute: I love that show.
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Ryan: Did you see Saw?
Dwight Schrute: Of course I see-saw. Mose and I see-saw all the time.
Ryan: No, uh, the movie. Did you see, the movie Saw.
Dwight Schrute: Oh. Yeah. Great film. Almost as fun as going on a see-saw.
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Michael Scott: Calling cards are the wave of the future. These things sell themselves.
Ryan: Who uses calling cards anymore?
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Ryan: I want an outsider.
Jim Halpert: Perfect. There are several outside candidates that we think would be really...
Ryan: No, I mean an ousider. Like someone on the margins of society. Who doesn't see things like we do. Like a homeless person.
Pam Beesly: A homeless person. Really? A homeless person.
Ryan: No, you're right, Pam. Let's just leave them to the welfare system. Let that handle it.
Pam Beesly: No, I want you to say that you think the best person to be or new manager is a homeless person.
Ryan: Let me guess who you want Pam. Rachael Ray, the ladies of The View.
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Pam Beesly: Hey Ryan!
Ryan: [walks in typing to Blackberry] Hello, one second. [returns to blackberry] Hey Pam it's great to see you is Michael in?
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[as voices behind the cubicle]
Kelly: You are so mean.
Ryan: I don't know what you're talking about.
Kelly: Yes you do, Ryan Bailey Howard. You called me stupid.
Ryan: No I said your idea is stupid.
Kelly: What is so stupid about wanting to name a baby Usher? Usher Jennifer Hudson Kapour.
Ryan: Don't you see why that's insane?
Kelly: Oh, so I'm crazy now?
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