Dwight Schrute Quotes From The Office
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| Dwight Schrute: | Back injuries are common. Not as common as knee injuries but more common than wrist injuries. |
| Michael Scott: | I don't need a history lesson ok? |
| Dwight Schrute: | What do you think history is? |
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| Dwight Schrute: | I'm sorry am I interrupting? Oh God were you guys making out? |
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| Andy: | Why did we pretend like we worked here? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Is that what we were doing? |
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| Jim's Roommate: | Nice Birkenstocks. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Thanks. I have another pair in my car for special occasions. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | My father's name was Dwight Schrute. My grandfather's name was Dwight Schrute. His father's name Dwide Schrude. Amish. I loved my father very much. Every morning he'd wake up at dawn and make us biscuits with gravy. When I was little my dad and I played a lot of games together. My dad cheated a lot but I never busted him on it. I would have, except I didn't know about it. He didn't tell me till years later. I was shocked when I found out. |
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| Michael Scott: | Dwight is a wuss. When we rented Armageddon, he cried at the end of it. |
| Dwight Schrute: | That was because it was New Year's Eve and it started to snow at exactly midnight. |
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| Jim Halpert: | We, have, a lot to do, and, you are... putting up a very effeminate sign. Is that what you've been doing? Making a sign? |
| Dwight Schrute: | It's not effeminate. It's festive. |
| Jim Halpert: | You been making that sign, for something we could just announce to the whole office. [still staring at Dwight] Hey everybody, the party's now at three! |
| Stanley: | I know I just read it on the sign. |
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| Michael Scott: | I just-- I met a woman when I was giving blood and I thought she might come by. |
| Kelly: | You met a woman when you were giving blood that's so romantic! |
| Michael Scott: | It's not a big deal, really. I just, you know, met somebody, talked, I picked up her glove so I was hoping I could give it back to her. |
| Kelly: | Oh my God that makes it even more romantic! This is like a modern day Enchanted. It's like a fairy tale! |
| Meredith: | She could be your soul mate. |
| Dwight Schrute: | No not likely. There are three billion women on the planet, most of them live in Asia so the numbers just don't add up. |
| Kelly: | She could be! |
| Michael Scott: | Believe me, it's nothing. I hardly even talked to her. We just-- we were lying there next to each other. I think our blood bags touched. |
| Kelly: | Ohhhhhhhh! |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Does it bother me that I wasn't invited to Michael's dinner party? [starts crying] |
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| Dwight Schrute: | Are you enjoying your vegetarian noodles? |
| Angela: | Very much. How's your meat? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Dry. Delicious. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | [inspecting Andy's car] Scratch! |
| Andy: | Ahh that's a racing stripe. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | What are you gonna do now? You gonna make fun of our leader's weird voice? [mumbles] Over the line, Jim. |