Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Jim Halpert: I'll do it. I'll get the skirt, pigtails, pom poms.
Michael Scott: Yeah, just try not to be too gay on the court!
[Jim raises his eyebrows at the camera]
Michael Scott: I mean that in the 'bad-at-sports' way. I think that goes without saying.
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Jim Halpert: So... we got Kev some stuff. Um, party pack of M&Ms, his favorite candy. A DVD of American Pie 2, which is his favorite movie, and he lent it to Creed so I can guarantee he won't get that back.
Pam Beasley: 69 Cup-of-Noodles.
Jim Halpert: Which we realize sounds crass, but it is his favorite number.
Pam Beasley: And his favorite lunch.
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Michael Scott: I wanted this party to be really special, so I sort of went above and beyond.
Jim Halpert: Well that's great, but don't tell me who it is 'cause I could...
Michael Scott: It was Ryan. Yep. I have Ryan.
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Jim Halpert: Angela, burger? Dog? Havin' fun?
Angela: I got sap on me.
Jim Halpert: Chicken, hot dog, burger?
Angela: I'm a vegetarian.
Jim: There's soda inside.
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Dwight Schrute: [over the radio] Woah, here's a guy, here's a guy! It's a security guard coming by. Hello! We're warehouse workers. Would you like more proof? ... Oh my God that was very close. I can see the security guard's eyes!
Jim Halpert: No! No. Don't do anything to them!
Dwight Schrute: I have to do something to his eyes.
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Jim Halpert: You know what, Kev, do me a favor. Why don't you close your eyes.
[Kevin closes his eyes]
Jim Halpert: [whispering] OK. Now imagine that Hilary Swank comes into this office. For real. She walks over to you and she says, "Kevin Malone. I just read your online profile. There's nothing I'd rather do than make out with you right now." Now you tell me something: is she hot?
Kevin: [nods and smiles]
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Karen: Oh nothing. They're just out of Herr's chips. But don't worry about it. My snack food doesn't fall under the umbrella of your authority.
Jim Halpert: Mmmm, that's where you're wrong. I'm your project supervisor today, and I have just decided that we're not doing anything, until you get the chips you require. So I think we should go get some. Now, please.
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Pam Beesly: You came up to my desk and you said, 'this might sound weird, and there's no reason for me to know this, but that mixed berry yogurt you're about to eat is expired.'
Jim Halpert: That was the moment that you knew you liked me.
Pam Beesly: Yep.
Jim Halpert: Wow. Can we make it a different moment?
Pam Beesly: Nope.
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Pam Beesley: Who are you writing down?
Jim Halpert: Oh you don't know her.
Pam Beesley: Who is it?
Jim Halpert: Your mom?
Pam Beesley: Yeah whatever. [giggling] Give that to me..
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[Michael walks into the break room where the rest of the office is]
Michael Scott: [sighs] How can he still not know?
Jim Halpert: We can't figure that out.
Michael Scott: I can't take it anymore.
Dwight Schrute: Wait. What? You can't take what?
Michael Scott: I am telling Andy.
Dwight Schrute: Noo. You can't do that. It shouldn't come from you.
Michael Scott: Who should it come from then.
Everyone: Angela.
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Jim Halpert: Yep. I used to play soccer in school. From second to forth grade. I was on the orange team.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: Oh my God, what happened?
Jim Halpert: We were robbed last night.
Dwight Schrute: Bravo, Watson. [to Michael] Looks like a classic seven man job. Ok, security tapes were stolen. Motives: Financial or possibly HP vintage computer collectors. Hank down at security had clocked out, and that's all we have.
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