Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Jim Halpert: Hey, dude. Do you know what a rundown is?
Oscar: Use it in a sentence.
Jim Halpert: Uh... can you get this rundown for me?
Oscar: Try another sentence.
Jim Halpert: This rundown better be really good?
Oscar: I don't know but it sounds like the rundown's really important.
Jim Halpert: Charles asked me to do this rundown of all my clients.
Oscar: Why don't you just ask him, what--
Jim Halpert: No, I can't it was like hours ago.
Oscar: What have you been doing?!
Kevin: Try another sentence.
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Pam Beesly: Did you watch The Apprentice last night?
Jim Halpert: Yeah, I can't believe who they kicked out!
Dwight Schrute: Damn it! I missed it! I was out drinking with my laser tag team, I can't believe I did that! I never go out on Thursday nights. [looks down shaking his head]
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Jim Halpert: Oh so Dwight gave me this wooden mallard as a gift. I found a recording device in it. Yes. So. I think if I play it just right, I can get Dwight to live out the plot of National Treasure.
Pam Beesly: You need to be more upset about this. She's your mother too now. Your mother is sleeping with Michael Scott.
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Jim Halpert: [after Jim paired his headset with Dwight's cell phone] Hello this is Dwight.
Pam Beesly: [over the phone] Hello is this Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Yes it is.
Pam Beesly: Oh my goodness you sound sexy.
Jim Halpert: Oh, thank you. I've been working out.
Dwight Schrute: Woah woah woah! Pam! Pam! You are not talking to Dwight right now. You are talking to Jim.
Pam Beesly: [into phone] Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: No! [waving] I'm over here!
Pam Beesly: I'm confused.
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Michael Scott: ... [Michael stands with his feet on both sides of Pam's head as she is laying down] Now, up ahead, a castle is in the distance.
Jim Halpert: [Jim sees the way Michael is standing over Pam] Don't open your eyes.
Pam Beesly: What? [Pam opens her eyes] Oh.
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Michael Scott: Jim, you're next. Who would you do?
Jim Halpert: Ummm... Kevin, hands down. Yeah, he's really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards we could, just watch bowling.
Michael Scott: Well I'd definitely have sex with Ryan.
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Michael Scott: Hey it's 12:20. Where the hell's Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Ummm... no idea.
Michael Scott: "Never missed a day", my ass.
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Michael Scott [reading] "Every time I typed my name, it said 'Diapers'."
Jim Halpert [cut to camera] Just a simple macro. You know, these actually don't sound that funny one after another. But he does deserve it, though.
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Karen: I'm not stupid. Okay? I was at the beach. We don't have a future in Scranton. There's one too many people there.
Jim Halpert: You mean Kevin?
Karen: Exactly.
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[entering a bar for happy hour]
Michael Scott: Ohh, wow. I cannot believe this is happening. It's everything I dreamed. Ohh my God! [laughing]
Jim Halpert: Easy.
Michael Scott: It's not a birthday, it's not a good-bye party--
Jim Halpert: Oh hey, Pam and I are gonna go play pool with one of her friends. And we need a fourth.
Michael Scott: Sucks to be youu!
Jim Halpert: [pause] Would you like to be our fourth.
Michael Scott: That would be sublime.
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Michael Scott: Alright. You're gonna miss the best prank ever.
Jim Halpert: Alright. [pause] Wait. What are you planning on doing?
Michael Scott: Do you really wanna know?
Jim Halpert: Oh God.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Pam Beesley: Tell them what we saw today, Jim.
Jim Halpert: Oh today, we saw a junk yard dog attacking the bones of a rotisserie chicken.
Pam Beesley: Nature.
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