Jim Halpert Quotes From The Office

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Angela: Who would EVER come to this?
Michael Scott: I don't know. It could be any number of people. It could be a pedestrian. It could be a old person. It could be a looky-loo. Or, it could be... a Bruce Springstein fan? What? Who said that? I did. Why did I say that? Oh I think you know why I said that. I think it is very apparent. I think it goes without saying, bare with me. There's a point there. But what is the point? I don't understand what he's saying. It seems a little shady. It seems a little foggy. Well, it's not a little foggy, there's really something going on here.
Jim Halpert: Do you need us for any of this?
Michael Scott: Do I?
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Jim Halpert: [rubbing a lamp] I will grant you one wish.
Pam Beesley: I wish you would stop rubbing that lamp in that creepy way.
Jim Halpert: Stupid. Everybody knows to ask for a hundred more wishes.
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Jim Halpert: Well we're all getting excited to see this fight. The Albany Branch is working right through lunch to prevent downsizing, but Michael, he decided to extend our lunch by an hour so that we all could go down to the dojo and watch him fight Dwight... FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT- I'm comin'- FIGHT!
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Jim Halpert: Truce?
Pam Beesly: Yeah, I guess, since I won.
Jim Halpert: You did win. You did win. Anyway, I'm going to need three copies of each of these, stapled and collated. [starts walking away then turns and comes back] Totally kidding... [leans in close as if to kiss Pam] I'm going to need four. [kisses Pam]
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Michael Scott: The one true rumor--and this is going to ruin this person's life--is that--
Jim Halpert: Is that Pam's pregnant!
Kevin: I knew it! Her breasts were a tiny bit bigger. At first, I thought, oh she has a new bra with padding, but then I thought, Pam doesn't neeed padding. It just didn't add up, Jim.
Jim Halpert: Ok. Thank you.
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Michael Scott: You show me a white man you trust and I will show you a black man that I trust even more. Pam, tell me a white person you trust.
Pam Beesly: My dad.
Michael Scott: Danny Glover. Yep.
Jim Halpert: Jonas Salk.
Michael Scott: Who?
Jim Halpert: Justin Timberlake.
Michael Scott: Oh, please. Colin Powell.
Karen: Hey, I got one.
Michael Scott: Yup.
Karen: Jesus.
Michael Scott: Apollo Creed.
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Jim Halpert: Oh, Nellie, we're so sorry. We were just...
Nellie: I see you've discovered 'Benjamin.' That's what I call my box full of photos of Henry.
Dwight Schrute: [Long, awkward pause] Why not call
Jim Halpert: Shhhhhh!
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Jim Halpert: You're an exec, at Pennsylvania Solar Tech--
Oscar: That sounds fake!
Dwight Schrute: I told you! You are an exec at Stark Industries! A corporation you inherited from your father--
Jim Halpert: Stop! Stop. Stop it. Here's the story. They need Meredith somewhere else ASAP. Ok? So you're taking over you just gotta get her outta there as soon as you can. Alright?
Oscar: Ok I can do that, then what?
Dwight Schrute: Make him pitch to you! You gotta see what he's got. And remember, you're not gay!
Jim Halpert: Stop it!
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Jim Halpert: I can't believe I'm saying this but Michael is actually killing it with Holly. And I think I know why. It's because Holly is kind of a major dork.
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[on phone]
Pam Beasley: What time is it there?
Jim Halpert: 'What time is it here?' Um, we're in the same timezone.
Pam Beasley: Ah, yeah, right.
Jim Halpert: How far away did you think we were?
Pam Beasley: I donno. It felt far.
Jim Halpert: Yeah..
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Meredith: Hey what's up lifeguard?
Oscar: Jim I think I'm in your way [mocks Jim and walks away]
Michael Scott: Oscar's a douche.
Jim Halpert: [laughs] Naw, he's alright.
Michael Scott: Naw, he's a... no he's alright.
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Jim Halpert: How are your feet?
Pam Beesly: Medium rare. Thanks.
Jim Halpert: The real reason I went to Stamford is because I wanted to be... not here.
Pam Beesly: I know.
Jim Halpert: And even though I came back, I just feel like I never really.. came back.
Pam Beesly: Well I wish you would.
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