Michael Scott Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | Phyllis, did you break wind? It's okay, if you did. It's a very natural reaction. It's your wedding, you're nervous. |
| Phyllis: | Mmm that wasn't me. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay. Um. I'm sure that Bob... Wow. That is-- that is pungent. I lost my train of thought. Ahh.. are you set on that hairstyle? |
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| Michael Scott: | Guess what? I have flaws. What are they? Oh I donno, I sing in the shower? Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me-- no, don't sue me. That is opposite the point I'm trying to make. |
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| Michael Scott: | So how are we going to energize our office? I mean, I haven't done anything since Christmas, Pam clearly has just given up trying. |
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| Michael Scott: | Myth: Three Americans every year die from rabies. Fact: Four Americans every year die from rabies. |
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| Jim Halpert: | If you were a real star you'd put your face in it. |
| Michael Scott: | I love it more! |
| Oscar: | But that doesn't seem.. safe. |
| Michael Scott: | [to camera] IIII love it! |
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| Deangelo: | You know, I actually tried to start an animal olympics. |
| Michael Scott: | Really? What happened. |
| Deangelo: | Yeah, life happened. |
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| Michael Scott: | Spamster. |
| Pam Beesly: | Um... Pam, plus spam, plus? |
| Michael Scott: | Hamster. |
| Pam Beesly: | Right. |
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| Pam Beesly: | You're bribing me. |
| Michael Scott: | No! [laughing] No, no... Unless you want me to! Do you want me to? Because I will. I will bribe you. No... Your face is saying, don't? Unless I haven't offered you enough? Your face isn't changing. What is it! Talk to me face, tell me what Pam's brain is thinking. |
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| Michael Scott: | My whole life I... have known two things. I love sex and I wanna have kids. And I always thought that those two things would go hand in hand, but now I think it might be one or the other. |
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| Holly: | Michael, you cried at the movie tagline that you made up. |
| Michael Scott: | Well, he had no arms or legs, and he couldn't see, hear or speak... and that's how he led a nation. |
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| Michael Scott: | Some people need dozens of friends to say, 'hey look at me, I'm popular!' But not me, I'm very picky. I need three, maybe two. When you meet that someone special you just know. Because a real relationship can't be forced. It should just come about effortlelessly. |
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| Michael Scott: | The first guy says, 'Well I''m an astronaut, so I drive a Saturn.' And the second guy says, 'Well I am a pimp so I drive a cheap Escort.' And the third guy says, 'I got you both beat. I''m a proctologist, so I drive a brown Probe.' |