Michael Scott Quotes From The Office
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| Dwight Schrute: | Seasick? Captain Jack says to watch the moon. |
| Michael Scott: | Captain Jack's a fart face. |
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| [deleted scenes] | |
| Michael Scott: | Can I take a quick break? I need to change the panty liners in my armpits. |
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| Deangelo: | How do you usually start the meetings? Do you start with some chit chat or do you just dive right in? |
| Michael Scott: | I start with some jokes... you might want to develop a few characters. |
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| Michael Scott: | Business to business. The old fashion way. No blackberries. No websites. I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people. |
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| Michael Scott: | Hey! What the hell! Is going on here! Who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a rock for his going away gift? |
| Dwight Schrute: | You did. |
| Michael Scott: | No! |
| Dwight Schrute: | You made me wrap it. I thought it was over the line-- |
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| Michael Scott: | Holly thinks that this relationship is over. Well, you know what? I am not going to give up that easy. I am going to make this way harder than it needs to be. |
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| Michael Scott: | You'll never guess what I know. |
| Dwight Schrute: | [typing] Ok. Let me finish this thought. |
| Michael Scott: | Eric likes Megan! |
| Dwight Schrute: | [still typing] He most definitely does. He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. She finally said yes. They went on a group date the other night, apparently it went very well. |
| Michael Scott: | How do you know this? |
| Dwight Schrute: | People tell me things. I guess I have a face you can trust. I think it's because of my low cheekbones. [finishes typing] Ok, what is it? What can't I guess?? |
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| Jan: | There is, uh, there is one more thing you can do for me. |
| Michael Scott: | Ok. |
| Jan: | Don't date Holly. |
| Michael Scott: | W-Wha-- that's-- I hate her. Wh--God... Why would you even ask me to-- I- I mean not that it matters because I don't but w-- Okay! Alright. Fine. |
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| Michael Scott: | TMI? Too Much Information. It''s just easier to say 'TMI'. I used to say 'don't go there', but that's lame. |
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| Michael Scott: | Hey. Hi. Would you have a snack in your purse? You're a mom, I just figured you might have one. |
| Pam's Mom: | Ah, yeah. |
| Michael Scott: | Oh! Ew, apricot. Do you have any of the very berry or ocean splash? |
| Pam's Mom: | No. |
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| [doing surveillance in Michael's car] | |
| Michael Scott: | And there's clouds. There's clouds in the sky. I think it's gonna rain. Bad for business. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Well it would if they were altocumulus, not cirrostratus. |
| Michael Scott: | [frustrated] Why do you?-- ah ok. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Get your clouds right. |
| Michael Scott: | Shut up. |
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| Michael Scott: | This is a business trip. I would have to be a raving lunatic to try to talk to Jan about what happened between us. Her words, not mine. She sent me an e-mail this morning. |