Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Ain't no party like a Scranton party 'cause a Scranton party don't stop.
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Salesman: How about I make an appointment to come back, that way I know he'll be here.
Pam Beesly: That is a great idea. Umm... [looking through calendar] Oh boy... he's really....
Jim Halpert: Mmmmichael Scott, manager, hi how are ya? Nice to meet you.
Pam Beesly: There he is!
Salesman: Oh hey, great, look at that.
Jim Halpert: Whew, I can assure you we don't need a new system though, happy with ours.
Michael Scott: [enters] Hello, may I help you?
Jim Halpert: [addresses Michael] Jimbo!
Michael Scott: [smiles] Jim...
Jim Halpert: Aaayyyyyyyyy!
Michael Scott: [beat] Aaaayyyyyyy!
Pam, Jim, Michael: Aaaaaaayyyyyyy [Dwight runs up and joins in] Aaaaaayyyyyy!
Salesman: K. I'm uh, I'm gonna be going. [leaves]
Pam, Jim, Michael, Dwight: Aaaaaayyyyyyyy!
Michael Scott: [laughing] What was that?
Pam Beesly: That was funny.
Michael Scott: That was funny, let's go do it to somebody else.
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Michael Scott: She is wearing blue jeans and a black top. So... behold my bachelorette. I give her 10 for looks and a 3 for her ability to describe herself. Hello milady.
[woman walks past]
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[after finished giving blood]
Michael Scott: Phew wow, I was so nervous about this I don't think that I ate for three days. [tries to get up and immediately faints]
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Oscar: We don't even have to have a party.
Michael Scott: No, hey. Hey, don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. The celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar specific--
Oscar: Michael...
Michael Scott: No, no not because you're gay. You're gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you, to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis I want you to go and find firecrackers and a Chiwawa.
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Craig: What? You like Jan? How can you like Jan?
Michael Scott: Maybe because she's my girlfriend. Was-- or not my girlfriend. We hooked up.
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Michael Scott: Yeah, nothing. How was your day?
Jan: I don't care how your day was, Michael.
Michael Scott: Pfffft. Well. Okay, I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up--
Jan: Tell me what you did yesterday.
Micheal Scott: I worked. And then I went home to my condo, and Carol came over, and we, had, sex. That what you wanna hear?
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Michael Scott: Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parent's expectations, Andy. [Andy laughs, embarrassed] Angels loves pussycats. Packer loves...
Angela: No, don't!
Michael Scott: I was going to say dogs.
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Michael Scott: Hi I'm Michael Scott, this is Jan Levinson Gould.
Jan: Just Jan Levinson.
Michael Scott: No Gould?
Jan: No. Thank you very much for meeting with us, have you been waiting long?
Christian: No, not long.
Michael Scott: Uh, Jan what happened?
Jan: Michael!
Michael Scott: Is Gould dead?
Jan: Michael, we got divorced, okay?
Michael Scott: Whoa, you're kidding me! Do you wanna talk about it?
Jan: Michael! [to a waiter] Could we have a table for three please?
Michael Scott: When did this happen?
Jan: We're in a meeting.
Michael Scott: Okay, after you. [mouths to camera] Wow!
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Michael Scott: Don't sell your implants please.
Jan: I'm keeping them. I know you like 'em... They're kind of uncomfortable though.
Michael Scott: That's nice.
Jan: Kind of painful.
Michael Scott: Looks cute.
Jan: My nipples aren't as sensitive now.
Michael Scott: Looks cute though.
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[from deleted scenes]
Michael Scott [to a sobbing Jen] Honey, nobody in the complex likes you, but you have made this place look great. You can't touch anything, which is really a strange way to feel at the place that you live. You have made this home a house.
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: I call her 'Hillary Rodham Clinton'... not to her face. Well not because I'm scared of her. Because I'm not. But yeah...
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