Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Dwight Schrute: Seasick? Captain Jack says to watch the moon.
Michael Scott: Captain Jack's a fart face.
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[deleted scenes]
Michael Scott: Can I take a quick break? I need to change the panty liners in my armpits.
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Deangelo: How do you usually start the meetings? Do you start with some chit chat or do you just dive right in?
Michael Scott: I start with some jokes... you might want to develop a few characters.
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Michael Scott: Business to business. The old fashion way. No blackberries. No websites. I would like to see a website deliver baskets of food to people.
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Michael Scott: Hey! What the hell! Is going on here! Who thought it would be hysterical to give Toby a rock for his going away gift?
Dwight Schrute: You did.
Michael Scott: No!
Dwight Schrute: You made me wrap it. I thought it was over the line--
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Michael Scott: Holly thinks that this relationship is over. Well, you know what? I am not going to give up that easy. I am going to make this way harder than it needs to be.
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Michael Scott: You'll never guess what I know.
Dwight Schrute: [typing] Ok. Let me finish this thought.
Michael Scott: Eric likes Megan!
Dwight Schrute: [still typing] He most definitely does. He's been asking her out repeatedly for weeks. She finally said yes. They went on a group date the other night, apparently it went very well.
Michael Scott: How do you know this?
Dwight Schrute: People tell me things. I guess I have a face you can trust. I think it's because of my low cheekbones. [finishes typing] Ok, what is it? What can't I guess??
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Jan: There is, uh, there is one more thing you can do for me.
Michael Scott: Ok.
Jan: Don't date Holly.
Michael Scott: W-Wha-- that's-- I hate her. Wh--God... Why would you even ask me to-- I- I mean not that it matters because I don't but w-- Okay! Alright. Fine.
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Michael Scott: TMI? Too Much Information. It''s just easier to say 'TMI'. I used to say 'don't go there', but that's lame.
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Michael Scott: Hey. Hi. Would you have a snack in your purse? You're a mom, I just figured you might have one.
Pam's Mom: Ah, yeah.
Michael Scott: Oh! Ew, apricot. Do you have any of the very berry or ocean splash?
Pam's Mom: No.
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[doing surveillance in Michael's car]
Michael Scott: And there's clouds. There's clouds in the sky. I think it's gonna rain. Bad for business.
Dwight Schrute: Well it would if they were altocumulus, not cirrostratus.
Michael Scott: [frustrated] Why do you?-- ah ok.
Dwight Schrute: Get your clouds right.
Michael Scott: Shut up.
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Michael Scott: This is a business trip. I would have to be a raving lunatic to try to talk to Jan about what happened between us. Her words, not mine. She sent me an e-mail this morning.
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