Michael Scott Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | [holding snack plate] Snack time! It’s the witching hour. It is the sandwiching hour. |
| Phyllis: | What kind of sandwhiches? |
| Michael Scott: | PB&J. My mom's recipe. |
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| David Wallace: | How could you possibly think that the appropriate way to announce a branch closing was at a compant picinic? |
| Michael Scott: | Well, I didnt know that they didnt know. |
| David Wallace: | What about the fact that they're here today? What about that? That didn't throw up any alarms? No, Michael needed a little but for his comedy sketch and he thought 'Oh hey, this'll be really funny'. |
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| Andy: | Big idea. Double wedding. Me, Angela, you, Holly. |
| Michael Scott: | No, we would never do that, and if we did it would be with Jim and Pam. |
| Jim Halpert: | Yeah, we'd never do that. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah, so there you go. |
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| Michael Scott: | Who here has been the but of a joke that has gone too far? Phyllis. |
| Phyllis: | Michael you make fun of us everyday. |
| Kevin: | Yeah. Every single day. |
| Michael Scott: | Uh, you never said anything. |
| Meredith: | Uh we have. Countless times. |
| Michael Scott: | Well it is hard to tell the difference between you guys saying "Stop! Because I want you to stop" and "Stop!" as in "Stop you're making making me laugh so hard. What you're doing is so funny. You are on a roll I am a busting a gut. Stoppp!" |
| Angela: | That's never been the case. |
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| Michael Scott: | Got to see how Jamaicans live. It is great. You know? They just relax. They party all the time. |
| Pam Beesly: | It's kind of an impoverished country. |
| Michael Scott: | Yeah. Gosh. Great. |
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| Oscar: | Once, once one in a while, I, I'll take a long lunch break. |
| Michael Scott: | A siesta! |
| Dwight Schrute: | Time thief! Time thief! Fire him! |
| Jim Halpert: | Dwight, you've really never stolen any company time? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Never! |
| Michael Scott: | You are a thief of joy. |
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| Michael Scott: | I just don't want my employees thinking that their jobs depend performance. I mean, what sort of place is that to call home? And Meredith needs this job, it's her only source of money. |
| Holly: | Well that's very sweet, but we have to follow the protocol. Those are the rules. |
| Michael Scott: | OK new idea, we don't report her at all. We just punish her. |
| Holly: | We punish her? |
| Michael Scott: | Tell her, can't have sex for 6 months. |
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| Ryan: | It's not part of your job. It's like, maybe you can cook but that doesn't mean you should start a restaurant. |
| Michael Scott: | Well actually I can't cook and I am starting a restaurant. Mike's Cereal Shack. I'm thinking we'll have as many varieties as you can buy in a store. |
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| Michael Scott: | They're wrong, you are creative. You are damn creative. Each and every one of you. You are so much more creative than all the other dry, boring morons that you work with. |
| Jim Halpert: | Who are you talking to, specifically? |
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| Michael Scott: | Oh man, you seem to have caught Jo's eye. How'd you make that happen? |
| Darryl: | I impressed her with my good ideas. |
| Michael Scott: | Mm-hmm! Seriously. How'd you do it. |
| Darryl: | I made a suggestion at the meeting that was good. You were there... |
| Michael Scott: | How do I put this delicately... Does her family owe your family something? In terms of a past injustice. |
| Darryl: | Now Mike I'm gonna have to ask you to leave. So I can learn about this tiny, television [turning on his monitor] |
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| Michael Scott: | As you know, one of my favorite things is fanfare for its own sake. So without further adue, let's all start clapping. |