Michael Scott Quotes From The Office

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Michael Scott: Could you write down the number to that rehabilitation center you mentioned?
Toby: Sure. Wow. [hands it to Michael]
[Michael flicks the pen at Toby's forehead]
Toby: Ow.
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Michael Scott: [on his cellphone] No, I'll talk to her. No, nobody talks to my baby that way. Yeah I'll let you know how it goes. Alright. Bye, Pickle. [hangs up and walks into the conference room] Pamela Morgan Beesly you need to apologize to your mother right now.
Angela: I'm sorry, I was told I have the floor.
Oscar: Whoa hold on, hold on. What's going on?
Jim Halpert: Nothing! Nothing at all. "It's all goood."
Pam Beesly: I'm not apologizing to anyone. Michael owes ME an apology.
Michael Scott: For trying to find happiness in the arms of a lover?
Pam Beesly: Don't call my mother your lover!
Kevin: Yes! That's what I'm talking about.
Andy: That is not ok dude!
Michael Scott: Ok, in my defence--
Phyllis: Disgusting.
Creed: That's messed up man.
Pam Beesly: Yes. Thank you. Welcome to my personal hell!
Oscar: You have no sense of boundaries, Michael.
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Michael Scott: Hey it's 12:20. Where the hell's Dwight?
Jim Halpert: Ummm... no idea.
Michael Scott: "Never missed a day", my ass.
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Ryan: I found the pudding cups you wanted at a gas station in Carbondale!
Michael Scott: You did it, look at you! And with the plate and the napkin, very nice... thank you Ryan. Did you get the yams?
Ryan: No, the gas station in Carbondale did not have fresh yams!
Michael Scott: [sighs] Oh okay. I'll just have the pudding.
Ryan: You sure?
Michael Scott: Yeah.
Ryan: Okay.
[later]
Michael: Scott: You know what? I feel better. Ryan brought me some chocolate pudding, and his kindness healed my foot.
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Michael Scott: Dwight, I want you to look at Holly right now. Everybody I want you to look at Holly right now. And maybe if you look at her deeply enough you will see what I see in her. And that is that we are all very lucky to have her here. Holly is the best thing that has happened to this company since World War II! Fifty years. She is the best!
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Jan: So where's this train taking us?
Michael Scott: I think the engineer left.
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Michael Scott: I did not go to business school. You know who else didn't go to business school? LeBron James, Tracy McGrady, Kobe Bryant. They went right from high school to the NBA so... [pause] So, it's not the same thing at all.
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Michael Scott: Today I am headed over to the job fair at Valleyview high school to find some new interns. Get some fresh blood. Um, euthanize this place.
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Michael Scott: [to Pam, Angela, Phyllis and Ryan] Ho, Ho, Ho... Pimp.
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Michael Scott: I'm very sorry, I did not know that you were wearing a hearing aid, I just thought you were speaking... abnormally.
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Michael Scott [filming video] Michael, I know what you're thinking. Holly's engaged to another man, and you want to kill yourself. It may seem like a good idea, but it's not.
Erin [giggles] Snot. Sorry, it sounded like you said it's snot. I am so sorry.
Michael Scott Okay, so killing yourself... [laughs] I was just thinking about snot.
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Michael Scott: Guys! I want you to help us work on some banter.
Kevin: Yes! I love banter. But I hate witty banter.
Michael Scott: Here we go! So DeAngelo! You and I have a lot in common. You lost two hundred pounds and I lose my car keys every morning.
DeAngelo: That is true. We do share some similarities. I know how you can fix one of those problems. For me, it was portion control. For you, you need a key chain. Maybe one with a...
Michael Scott: Okay, okay. You know what, I didn't actually lose my keys...
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