Michael Scott Quotes From The Office
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| Michael Scott: | Ain't no party like a Scranton party 'cause a Scranton party don't stop. |
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| Salesman: | How about I make an appointment to come back, that way I know he'll be here. |
| Pam Beesly: | That is a great idea. Umm... [looking through calendar] Oh boy... he's really.... |
| Jim Halpert: | Mmmmichael Scott, manager, hi how are ya? Nice to meet you. |
| Pam Beesly: | There he is! |
| Salesman: | Oh hey, great, look at that. |
| Jim Halpert: | Whew, I can assure you we don't need a new system though, happy with ours. |
| Michael Scott: | [enters] Hello, may I help you? |
| Jim Halpert: | [addresses Michael] Jimbo! |
| Michael Scott: | [smiles] Jim... |
| Jim Halpert: | Aaayyyyyyyyy! |
| Michael Scott: | [beat] Aaaayyyyyyy! |
| Pam, Jim, Michael: | Aaaaaaayyyyyyy [Dwight runs up and joins in] Aaaaaayyyyyy! |
| Salesman: | K. I'm uh, I'm gonna be going. [leaves] |
| Pam, Jim, Michael, Dwight: | Aaaaaayyyyyyyy! |
| Michael Scott: | [laughing] What was that? |
| Pam Beesly: | That was funny. |
| Michael Scott: | That was funny, let's go do it to somebody else. |
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| Michael Scott: | She is wearing blue jeans and a black top. So... behold my bachelorette. I give her 10 for looks and a 3 for her ability to describe herself. Hello milady. |
| [woman walks past] |
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| [after finished giving blood] | |
| Michael Scott: | Phew wow, I was so nervous about this I don't think that I ate for three days. [tries to get up and immediately faints] |
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| Oscar: | We don't even have to have a party. |
| Michael Scott: | No, hey. Hey, don't be ridiculous. Of course we are going to have a party. The celebration of Oscar. Oscar night. And I want it to be Oscar specific-- |
| Oscar: | Michael... |
| Michael Scott: | No, no not because you're gay. You're gayness does not define you. Your Mexican-ness is what defines you, to me. And I think we should celebrate Oscar's Mexicanity. So Phyllis I want you to go and find firecrackers and a Chiwawa. |
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| Craig: | What? You like Jan? How can you like Jan? |
| Michael Scott: | Maybe because she's my girlfriend. Was-- or not my girlfriend. We hooked up. |
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| Michael Scott: | Yeah, nothing. How was your day? |
| Jan: | I don't care how your day was, Michael. |
| Michael Scott: | Pfffft. Well. Okay, I don't care how your day was either, Jan. I was just asking you because you asked me. Why do you set me up-- |
| Jan: | Tell me what you did yesterday. |
| Micheal Scott: | I worked. And then I went home to my condo, and Carol came over, and we, had, sex. That what you wanna hear? |
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| Michael Scott: | Packer is a survivor of divorce, Stanley. Packer doesn't speak with his child, Meredith. Packer never lived up to his parent's expectations, Andy. [Andy laughs, embarrassed] Angels loves pussycats. Packer loves... |
| Angela: | No, don't! |
| Michael Scott: | I was going to say dogs. |
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| Michael Scott: | Hi I'm Michael Scott, this is Jan Levinson Gould. |
| Jan: | Just Jan Levinson. |
| Michael Scott: | No Gould? |
| Jan: | No. Thank you very much for meeting with us, have you been waiting long? |
| Christian: | No, not long. |
| Michael Scott: | Uh, Jan what happened? |
| Jan: | Michael! |
| Michael Scott: | Is Gould dead? |
| Jan: | Michael, we got divorced, okay? |
| Michael Scott: | Whoa, you're kidding me! Do you wanna talk about it? |
| Jan: | Michael! [to a waiter] Could we have a table for three please? |
| Michael Scott: | When did this happen? |
| Jan: | We're in a meeting. |
| Michael Scott: | Okay, after you. [mouths to camera] Wow! |
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| Michael Scott: | Don't sell your implants please. |
| Jan: | I'm keeping them. I know you like 'em... They're kind of uncomfortable though. |
| Michael Scott: | That's nice. |
| Jan: | Kind of painful. |
| Michael Scott: | Looks cute. |
| Jan: | My nipples aren't as sensitive now. |
| Michael Scott: | Looks cute though. |
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| [from deleted scenes] | |
| Michael Scott | [to a sobbing Jen] Honey, nobody in the complex likes you, but you have made this place look great. You can't touch anything, which is really a strange way to feel at the place that you live. You have made this home a house. |
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| Michael Scott: | I call her 'Hillary Rodham Clinton'... not to her face. Well not because I'm scared of her. Because I'm not. But yeah... |