Random Quotes from The Office

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Pam Beesly: I hate the idea that someone out there hates me. I even hate that Al-Qaeda hates me. I think if they got to know me they wouldn't hate me. But Karen knows me and she still hates me, so.
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Michael Scott: I lost Ed Truck, and it feels like somebody took my heart and dropped it into a bucket of boiling tears. And at the same time, somebody else is hitting my soul in the crotch, with a frozen sledge hammer. And then a third guy walks in and starts punching me in the grief bone, and I'm crying , and nobody can hear me, because I'm terribly terribly, terribly alone.
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David Wallace: Here's the situation. Your company is four weeks old. I know this business I know what suppliers are charging. I know you can't be making very much money. I don't know how your prices are so low, but I know it can't keep up that way. I'm sure you're scared. Probably in debt. That's the best offer you're going to get.
Michael Scott: I'll see your situation and I'll raise you a situation. Your company is losing clients left and right. You have a stockholder meeting coming up and you are going to have to explain to them why your most profitable branch is bleeding. So they may be looking for a little change in the CFO. So I don't think I need to wait out Dunder Mifflin. I think I just have to wait out you.
David Wallace: Ok now I don't know that I can get this, I do have to go to the board for approval. How's about, sixty-thousand dollars. [pause] Hmm? Sixty thousand. Michael?
[gibberish]
Ryan: We're gonna have to talk about this.
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Michael Scott: She is wearing blue jeans and a black top. So... behold my bachelorette. I give her 10 for looks and a 3 for her ability to describe herself. Hello milady.
[woman walks past]
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Dwight Schrute Slack-lining? Big deal. Untie that rope, give it to a couple of pig-tailed schoolgirls, let them start jumping with it while chanting a rhyme and giggling about boys. Doesn't seem so macho now, does it? It's a JUMP ROPE!
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[in the kitchen, Angela is making herself a cup of tea] [lights turn off]
Angela: Really? [jumps to try and activate motion sensor, Kevin walks through the door setting it off, and the lights come back on]
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Michael Scott: I don't understand. You want to see other people? Only other people.
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Ryan: I want an outsider.
Jim Halpert: Perfect. There are several outside candidates that we think would be really...
Ryan: No, I mean an ousider. Like someone on the margins of society. Who doesn't see things like we do. Like a homeless person.
Pam Beesly: A homeless person. Really? A homeless person.
Ryan: No, you're right, Pam. Let's just leave them to the welfare system. Let that handle it.
Pam Beesly: No, I want you to say that you think the best person to be or new manager is a homeless person.
Ryan: Let me guess who you want Pam. Rachael Ray, the ladies of The View.
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Michael Scott: I don't really get it. 'Cause we're not doing that bad. And our numbers are going to come up.
Jan Levinson: Well it's not all about numbers, Michael. It's about talent.
Michael Scott: Oh, you gotta be...Josh??
Jan Levinson: Our CFO believes that Josh is going to play an important role in our company's future.
Michael Scott: Oh really? What role is that? The king of the stupid universe?
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Michael Scott: It was a pretty dissapointing day. It was kind of a slap in the face, to realize that I wasn't as important as I thought I was to a certain young executive. Who I had cared about. But you know, I'm not going to cry about it. I did that on the way home.
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Andy: Mail call! [sings] His name is Oscar, and he got some mail, and he better open it, or go to jail 'cause it's your taxes. His name is Kevin, and no mail for him, but he got a coupon, for some frozen... yogurt.
Kevin: Are those the lyrics?
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Dwight Schrute: We offer tours of the fields, and of the barn. Perhaps you'd be interested in Mose's table making demonstration.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons