Random Quotes from The Office
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| Kelly: | Could you scoot over? You're on my dress. |
| Meredith: | I thought you're not supposed to wear white to a wedding. |
| Kelly: | I know but there was an emergency. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Kelly: | I look really good in white. |
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| Michael Scott: | Heads I do it, tails I don't. Best out of seven. (In a bad-ass scratchy voice) Looks like there's gonna be a clean-up on aisle five. |
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| Michael Scott: | This might be Phyllis only wedding ever. It is my job to ensure that none of you look like ragamuffins. So, I am instituting primae noctis. |
| [cut to interview] | |
| Jim Halpert: | Primae noctis, i believe from the movie Braveheart and confirmed on Wikipedia is when the king got to deflower every new bride on her wedding night. So... |
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| Michael Scott: | Man what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? The computer crashes, with the porn. And then Meredith with the accident. And then, Sprinkle. God. That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed. And we have to do something. |
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| Jim Halpert: | It's just that Pam gets me through the day, you know? I really rely on her. I'm pretty emotionally needy. |
| Andy: | And you know what? I am here for you. Let me be, your, traveling pants. |
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| Michael Scott: | I am so used to being the bad boy. I am so used to fighting Corporate that I forget that I am Corporate. Upper management. |
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| Dwight Schrute: | You need an attack plan. Here, I'll be him, you be you. Let's practice. |
| Michael Scott: | Alright. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Hum de dum de dum, coming home from work. |
| Michael Scott: | Excuse me. Mr Wallace? David Wallace? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Yes? What is the meaning of this? |
| Michael Scott: | Can you tell us why you are shutting down Scranton and putting fifteen people out of work? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Well the branch is no longer financially viable. It's simple dollars and cents. |
| Michael Scott: | Yes, but these are employees, sir. These are human beings. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Listen, Scott, we're losing money, okay? It's not a charity, it's a business. It's a dying business. |
| Michael Scott: | Stop it. Stop it. Just-- he's not going to say any of that. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Well, hey, why not. |
| Michael Scott: | Because he'd be intimiated. And I just--let's start again. Just be more scared of me, okay? Don't touch me this time. |
| Dwight Schrute: | Hum de dum de dum de do, I'm coming home from work. |
| Michael Scott: | Excuse me, Mr Wallace? |
| Dwight Schrute: | Ahh! |
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| Michael Scott: | Jim, you're next. Who would you do? |
| Jim Halpert: | Ummm... Kevin, hands down. Yeah, he's really got that teddy bear thing going on, and afterwards we could, just watch bowling. |
| Michael Scott: | Well I'd definitely have sex with Ryan. |
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| Oscar: | I love a good quitting story. It makes me feel like I have control over my own life. Gives me hope! Maybe I'll have one of my own someday. But I dream... so... |
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| Jim Halpert: | Listen. We need to assume that everyone in the office is forming an alliance and is there for trying to get us kicked off. |
| Dwight Schrute: | God... damn it! Why us? |
| Jim Halpert: | Because we're strong, Dwight. Because we're strong. |
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| Kevin: | I just wanna lie on the beach and eat hotdogs. That's all I've ever wanted. |
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| Angela: | I actually look forward to performance reviews. I did the youth beauty pageant circuit, and I enjoyed that quite a bit. I really enjoy being judged. I believe I hold up to even severe scrutiny. |