Random Quotes from The Office

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Phyllis: I sure wish I had more time to talk to my clients though.
Pam Beesly: What?
Phyllis: Isn't that what you said to a bunch of my clients when you were stealing them? That I didn't have enough time for 'em?
Pam Beesly: Oh, I um...
Phyllis: Close your mouth sweetie you look like a trout.
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Michael Scott: I don't get why parents are always complaining about how tough it is to raise kids. I joke around with 'em, you give 'em pizza, you give 'em candy. You let 'em live their lives. They're adults for God sake.
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Dwight Shrute: Angela versus Isabelle. Height, advantage Isabelle. Birthing hips, advantage Isabelle. Remaining childbearing years, advantage Isabelle. Legal obligation, advantage Angela.
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Andy: You give me a gift? Bam! Thank You note. You invite me somewhere? Pow! RSVP. You do me a favor? Wham! Favor returned. Do not test my politeness.
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Michael Scott: [as Dwight is smothering Michael's hair with peanut butter] Smells good!
Dwight Schrute: Tastes good too.
Michael Scott: Oh, don't. That's disgusting.
Dwight Schrute: A lot of calories.
Michael Scott: Well don't leave it on too long.
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Michael Scott: Am I scared to get hit in the face? No. Every day weirdos pay dominatrixes hundred of dollars for that very privilege. I'm scared I'm gonna love it.
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Michael Scott: You've been X Punk'd! We were kidding! And, Ryan, Ryan, he was in on it...
Pam Beasley: You're a jerk!
Michael Scott: Well, I don't know about that...
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Michael Scott: Today we're going to team up for sales calls. Andy, since this was your idea, you get to pick first.
Andy: Hmm, well. Let me think about this for a minute. Oh, I don't know. Michael Scott, PhD, Doctor of Sales.
Michael Scott: Well I appreciate that. That very gracious of you.
Andy: Well it is very gracious of you to accept.
Michael Scott: Well thank you sir.
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Michael Scott: I can't get a stripper here. Sexual harrasment.
Todd Packer: Get one for the girls too, that evens it out. You know, seperate but equal.
Michael Scott: So that's what that means.
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Andy: [with bouquet of flowers] These are for you.
Jan: How thoughtful!
Andy: Except for one flower, which is for my flower. [takes a rose for Angela]
Angela: What am I supposed to do with this?
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Andy: You know, when I tore my scrot, I was, uh, I was seeing this really hot urologist about it and, I thought she was into me. But, now I think she was just doing a bunch of stuff to bill my HMO. You know. She's touching around down there it's easy to get confused.
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Andy: Gentlemen, please. We called this meeting. Andy Bernard, is the name of me. And this is my associate Mr. Kevin Malone.
W.B. Jones: Alright. What do you want?
Andy: Well first of all, I'd just like to say what an honor it is to be sitting here with you gentlemen.
W.B. Jones: You have about ten seconds.
Kevin: We want our parking spaces back!
Paul Faust: Whose parking spaces?
Kevin: W.B. Jones's construction guys park in our parking spaces every morning, and some people have to park really far away and walk all the way to the office, and some people sweat too much for comfort and--
Bill Cress: My God.
Paul Faust: I don't have time for this guys. Just give 'em back their spaces.
W.B. Jones: Okay.
Paul Faust: We good? Okay. Could've done this over email.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons