Random Quotes from The Office

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Creed: I hate Devil's Food.
Jim Halpert: Well I think Meredith--
Creed: Screw Meredith! I don't think it's fair to let someone else pick the cake on my birthday.
Jim Halpert: Everybody's birthday.
Creed: Today is actually my birthday and I wanna pick the cake.
Jim Halpert: What do you want?
Creed: Pie. Peach pie.
Jim Halpert: You want a birthday pie?
Creed: I want a nice cobbler.
Jim Halpert: Well I'll talk to Angela and we're gonna see what we can do about a pie.
Creed: I don't care who you talk to just make it happen.
Jim Halpert: It'll be Angela.
Creed: Tell her it's for Creed. She'll know what that means.
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Guest: So the merger go smoothly, or?
Michael Scott: It did. Like buttah'. Mike Myers, SNL. You should ask Karen, she was one of 'em!
Karen: I'm the only one left. Everybody else was either fired or quit. And there's one in anger management.
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Michael Scott: SWAG! Stuff we all get. I basically decorated my condo with all of my SWAG.
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Roy: I'm not really into strippers. You know what I find sexy? Pam's art. She's an artist. And I appreciate that. It's very moving. And sexy. The art.
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Andy Bernard: [handing Dwight candy bar] Halvsies?
Dwight Schrute: [taking candy bar] No. Wholesies.
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[Andy knocks on door and walks into Michael's office]
Andy: You wanted to see me?
Michael Scott: Yeah. Have a seat.
Andy: Is it serious? [pauses] Wow. Andy's a wittle scarwed.
Michael Scott: [points at Andy] Right there is the problem. There have been reports around the office that you have been... talking baby talk.
Andy: Why would people say that?
Michael Scott: Well, I have it on good authority that you said the following. [hands Andy note card] Can you read that back to me?
Andy: "Andy have a boo-boo tummy."
Andy: Would you rather me say, 'Hey guys my irritable bowl syndrome is flaring up. Crazy diarrhea happening.' Cause things can get real adult real fast.
Michael Scott: You are also on record as saying 'Wittle-ittle, footy-wooty, numb-numbs, jammies make boom-boom widicowous and whode iwand.'
Andy: Do I sometimes replace r's with w's? Do I sometimes repeat a word to get my point across? Well if I do, Andy sowwy.
Michael Scott: You can't be a baby in the office. It makes me look like I hire babies.
Andy: Well, if we're complaning, a lot of people think your Elvis voice is annoying.
Michael Scott: Okay, who said that?
Andy: I... just people. For the record I think it's pretty fantastic.
Michael Scott: [impersonating Elvis] Well, thank you. Thank you a lot. And for what it's worth I think your baby voice is tops.
Andy: Tchank you Mr. Elphis.
Michael Scott: Your're welcome baby.
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Jim Halpert: Spin serve!
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Michael Scott: [phone rings during meeting] Oh, Todd Packer, terrific rep. Mind if I take it? [answers with speakerphone] Pac-Man.
Todd Packer: Hey you big queen. Is old Godzillary coming in today?
Michael Scott: I don't, uh--
Todd Packer: Look I've been meaning to ask her one question... does the carpet match the drapes?
Michael Scott: [hangs up] Oh my God. Oh that's horrifying. Horrible, horrible person.
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Michael Scott: Pam, please clear my phone lines.
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Micheal Scott Suprise! As you can see, I turned the bagels from O's into C's for Charles.
Charles Miner Thank you.
Micheal Scott Took me all night.
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Michael Scott: So Bernie's huh? We're all going to Bernie's?
Bill: Oh, uh, sorry, we're not going as a group. It's just a private friend, who happens to know all of us from differnet ways, is throwing a private birthday thing, so...
Send "The Office Theme Song" Ringtone to your Cell
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Michael Scott: I had a very good thing going with David Wallace. He was a good guy, was somebody I could trust. There he is. [picks up a framed photo of him and David] You can really see that he is ok taking a picture with me. Even though I was there for disciplinary reasons.
Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons