Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: I don't see how we can possibly sell these for that little without losing money. Delivery alone will cost--
Michael Scott: OK well sometimes, sometimes, it makes financial sense to lose money, right? Like for tax purposes?
Oscar: Actually, I ran the numbers on this, and in this case, it makes financial sense to gain, money?
Michael Scott: Why don't you run them again.
Jim Halpert: What if she's just flirting with you to get a better price.
Michael Scott: If she is it's working.
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Andy: [during the meeting] I'll drop an ethics bomb on you. Would you steal bread to feed your family. [oscar waits] Boom!
Oscar: Exactly, Andy.
Andy: Yeah. I took Intro to Philosophy, twice! No big deal.
Dwight Schrute: It's a trick question. The bread is poisoned. Also, it's not your real family. You've been cuckolded by a stronger, smarter male.
Andy: No that's... not how it works.
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Dwight Schrute: "From the desk of Andrew Bernard." [scoffs] A note! Pathetic. "Dear Dwight, by now you have received my note, how are you? I am well. You are no doubt wondering why I have left this note. It has come to my attention that any physical match with you I would surely be bested." True. "The soft underbelly of my refined upbringing is my underbelly."
Kelly: [watching Dwight outside from inside the conference room] There's Andy! He's in his car. You guys what is he doing?
Phyllis: Why isn't Dwight turning around?
Oscar: The Prius is silent if he keeps it under 5 miles per hour. He deserves the win.
[Pam and Stanley enter the conference room]
Pam Beesly: Oh my God!
Stanley: What's happening?
Phyllis: Andy's running over Dwight with his car.
[collective scream from the office]
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Meredith: Hey, has anything happened yet?
Oscar: It's 4:10. I don't think he's gonna show.
Kevin: Oh, come on man! Believe in something.
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Oscar: Hey, I just wanted you to know, that you can't just say the word bankruptcy and expect anything to happen.
Michael Scott: I didn't say it, I declared it.
Oscar: Still.. that's.. it's not anything.
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Michael Scott: Daddy's here and Daddy is going to take care of you.
Oscar: Please don't refer to yourself as our daddy.
Michael Scott: I am your big daddy and I am gonna kiss de booboo.
Andy: Andy is afwaid.
Michael Scott: Andy afwaid?
Andy: Yes.
Michael Scott: Are you all afwaid?
Dwight Schrute: No.
Michael Scott: Daddy here for youu. My wittle angels.
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Jan: You're broke?
Michael Scott: That's- how did you get that from what Oscar's saying. That's not-
Jan: H-how how-- I mean, Michael, how did this happen? Where exactly did your money go? Uh-I don't-- I don't get this. I really don't. I don't- I don't understand how, you could be so [sigh] irresponsible. I mean- ah!- it's just- it is astounding to me! Really! I don't know what more to say. I hoped that--
Oscar: Jan?
Jan: Yeah, what?
Oscar: Michael left.
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Oscar Martinez: Hey, where's Dwight?
Jim Halpert: You didn't hear?
Creed Bratton: Decapitated. Whole big thing. We had a funeral for a bird.
Jim Halpert: I'm pretty sure none of that's real.
Creed Bratton: YOU'RE NOT REAL, MAN!
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons