Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Oscar: I get here early every morning so I can set the thermostat. I like it a little cooler, around 66 degrees. I'm more productive. Maybe some people don't like it as cold as I do. But I don't care.
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Oscar: I'm sorry you're offended by my shoes but I'm not going to drive home to change.
Toby: I could loan you a pair of socks.
Oscar: No...
Toby: No they're clean, I was going to wear them to Volleyball practice.
Oscar: I don't think so.
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Angela: My worst breakup, was actually two breakups. Two different men. I was in love with both of them and, when things went bad... they had a duel over me.
Oscar: Yeah Dwight and Andy, we were here.
Angela: No. This was years ago when I was living in Ohio. John Mark and John David.
Oscar: Angela you had two sets of different men... actually duel over you?
Angela: I guess I have...
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Michael Scott: Did you ever have intercourse in this office?
[Dwight says nothing]
Oscar: Are you serious? [scoffs disgustedly] Where?
[Dwight stares at Oscar]
Oscar: [aggressively] Where?
[Dwight continues to stare]
Oscar: [now grimacing] Where Dwight?
Dwight Schrute: It seems like you already know where.
[Oscar silently covers his mouth]
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Oscar: This scary black bar is what you spend on things that no one ever, ever needs, like multiple magic sets, professional bass fishing equipment.
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Oscar: So, Pam told me you do a great Stanley impression. I'd love to hear it.
Jim Halpert: Oh, um. [imitating Stanley] Why do you keep CC'ing me on things that have nothing to do with me?
Stanley: [coming out of the bathroom] Is that supposed to be me?
Jim Halpert: Oh, hey Stanley. I was just doing an impression.
Stanley: I do not think that is funny.
Pam Beasley: He does everyone in the office.
[Stanley leaves]
Jim and Pam: [both imitating Stanley] I do not think that is funny.
Pam Beasley: Jinx, buy me a Coke.
Jim Halpert: Oh--
Pam Beasley: No no no. No talking.
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Oscar: Hi everyone.
Kevin: Oh hello Oscar. How was your gay-cation?
Oscar: That's very funny.
Kevin: Yeah? I thought of that like two seconds after you left.
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Oscar: You have your cats on Nanny Cam.
Angela: Yeah! I mean I usually try to take leave when I get a new cat but I'm out of vacation days. And this company still doesn't recognize cat maternity. I mean somebody has a kid, oh sure, take off a year.
Meredith: She's right I had my second kid just for the vacation.
Angela: Right! Anyways, I just want to make sure Princess Lady is acclimating well. She means more to me than anyone.
Kevin: Any cat, you mean.
Angela: And person.
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Kevin: [looking through Luke's groceries] Wait. Soy ice cream. Did you get real ice cream?
Pam Beesly: Or enough for everyone?
Luke: No man there was no list. But I got Bagel Chips.
Oscar: Oh my favorite part of an ice cream party. Bagel Chips!
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Dwight Schrute: Michael, why do you keep looking at the front door.
Michael Scott: No reason.
Dwight Schrute: Is somebody after you?
Oscar: Why do you always go to that? Has anyone ever been after anyone in this office.
Dwight Schrute: Hey! It just takes one.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons