Oscar Quotes From The Office

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Angela: Kevin! You screwed this form up again. The amount owed goes at the top.
Kevin: Oh. I'm sorry. I didn't realize I was doing something wrong. If I had, I would've admitted it and stopped right away--
Angela: That's enough.
Kevin: Because I wouldn't an innocent person who doesn't know anything about the form-- [stops after Angela puts on headphones and looks over at Oscar] What?
Oscar: That was good. It's just at the end you weren't saying something that could also apply to the form.
Kevin: How about, I'm sorry I did such a whorish job filling out this form.
Oscar: There you go.
[Oscar and Kevin pound fists]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Oscar: If there's nothing wrong with this Michael, why have you been keeping it a secret?
Michael Scott: Because I wanted you to come to me and say, wow. He is so great and I was gonna say "well it's in the genes." And I was actually going to be wearing jeans. [Dwight giggles] And I'd point to them. Right? No. Because you ruined it.
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Oscar: [to Michael] I made egg salad sandwiches. Do you want one?
Michael Scott: Could you have picked something stinkier to bring on a plane? My God, Oscar, really. Do you have a bag of baby poop in there, too, to share with everybody? No, I'll be ordering my own food. Thank you very much. [turns to talk to flight attendant] Hi, um, I'd like to see a menu, please.
Flight Attendant: Oh, I'm sorry. There are no meals on flights less than two hours.
Michael Scott: Oh, ok. [looks back at Oscar regretfully]
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Michael Scott: Ladies and gentleman, I have some bad news. Meredith was hit by a car.
Oscar: Where?
Michael Scott: It happened this morning in the parking lot. I took her to the hospital. And the doctors tried to save her, life, they did the best they could. And she is going to be ok.
Stanley: What is wrong with you? Why would you have to phrase is like that?
Dinkin flicka. To vote, login or join the TheOfficeQuotes.com community
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Oscar I am leaving early today because tonight I have a trivia contest in Philadelphia. Any other crunch-time, I would love to stay and cook the books for you so you can save face in front of your CEO... but tonight is Trivacalypse!
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Pam Beesly: Wait! Come on! Let's listen to Dwight's presentation.
[Dwight winks at Pam]
Oscar: Wh- what are you winking for?
Dwight Schrute: Zipyourlid!
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Jim Halpert: You're an exec, at Pennsylvania Solar Tech--
Oscar: That sounds fake!
Dwight Schrute: I told you! You are an exec at Stark Industries! A corporation you inherited from your father--
Jim Halpert: Stop! Stop. Stop it. Here's the story. They need Meredith somewhere else ASAP. Ok? So you're taking over you just gotta get her outta there as soon as you can. Alright?
Oscar: Ok I can do that, then what?
Dwight Schrute: Make him pitch to you! You gotta see what he's got. And remember, you're not gay!
Jim Halpert: Stop it!
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Kevin: I wouldn't last in jail, Oscar, I'm not like you.
Oscar: What's that supposed to mean?
Kevin: Oh you don't know about jail? Oh you would LOVE jail.
Oscar: Why would I love jail.
Kevin: Because-- [thinks for a second] you would love it. [smiles at camera]
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Oscar: I'll look on Web MD. What are your symptoms?
Angela: Oh everybody, Oscar found a reason to look on Web MD.
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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons