Pam Quotes From The Office

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Pam Beesly: There is no rush to get to the hospital. I'm fine. I'll get there. And if I don't get there, I don't get there.
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Michael Scott: Ok everybody, listen up. I have some bad news. Due to circumstances beyond my control--
Dwight Schrute: Impulsivity and inattention to detail.
Michael Scott: Hey! I have opened a box, which should not have been opened--
Dwight Schrute: Terrible mistake.
Michael Scott: --and distributed things which should not have been distributed.
Dwight Schrute: Undistributable.
Pam Beesly: Well maybe we can put it back together?
Dwight Schrute: Impossible. He opened it like an ape.
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Pam's friend: I am an ESL teacher.
Michael Scott: Really? See, I didn't think you could teach that. I thought that was something you were born with. What am I thinking right now.
Pam's friend: Are you thinking that I said ESP?
Michael Scott: Yes. Ah I feel like an idiot. Awesome.
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Pam Beesly: When you're a kid you assume your parents are soulmates. My kids are going to be right about that. [Andy walks by in the background] I guess it also means that sometimes love affairs look different to the people inside them. [Andy throws up his hands]
[cut to talking head]
Andy: I'm not insightful enough to be a movie critic. Maybe I could be a food critic. These muffins taste bad. Or an art critic. That painting is bad.
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Pam Beesley: Is Jim gonna propose tonight? He is isn't he? No, he's not. Is he?
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Pam Beesly: This is the last day of our summer interns. It's been nice. We haven't had interns in a while. Ever since Michael's Monica Lewinsky incident. He didn't do anything sexual, he just made far, far too many Monica Lewinsky jokes. It was just easier for Corporate to shut down the program.
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Michael Scott: [holding up a product catalog] Have you ever seen this woman?
Pam Beesley: Her? The one in the really great, mesh, high-back, swivel chair?
Michael Scott: Look at her smile. Her eyes-- look at her eyes. She's got, I don't know what it is exactly. She dresses professional and yet you know there is a side of her that could just curl up on a couch.
Pam Beesley: And great chair.
Michael Scott: Ah. Yeah. Maybe.
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Pam Beesly: Hey Ryan!
Ryan: [walks in typing to Blackberry] Hello, one second. [returns to blackberry] Hey Pam it's great to see you is Michael in?
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Bob Vance: Everyone here whose bowled a 280, please raise your hand. [raises his hand]
Jim Halpert: No way, 280?
Pam Beesly: That's impressive.
Phyllis: Ok. Now everyone here whose bowled under seventy raise their hand.
Jim Halpert: Yikes.
Phyllis: Come on, Bob, raise your hand.
Jim Halpert: No!
Pam Beesly: What!
Bob Vance: You love bringing up that one time, don't you?
Phyllis: Yeah! I do!
Pam Beesly: Jim uses a six pound ball.
Jim Halpert: That is a lie, that is a lie.
Pam Beesly: Yes! He bowled five frames with this pink sparkly thing, until a little girl had to ask for her ball back.
Jim Halpert: But that girl must have had monstrous hands because the holes fit.
Pam Beesly: No, you just have really dainty fingers.
Bob Vance: Ohh. You could always model ladies jewelery.
Jim Halpert: Nobody asked, Bob!
[all laugh]
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I.T. Guy: What was the exact offer?
Pam Beesly: It was for a... video.
I.T. Guy: Yeah, what kind of video?
Pam Beesly: A celebrity sex-tape.
Jim Halpert: Really? What kind of celebrity?
Pam Beesly: Not relevant.
Jim Halpert: How much you pay for it?
Pam Beesly: Not relevant.
Jim Halpert: You paid for it!?
Pam Beesly: It all happened too fast!
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