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Date Joined: January 10th, 2011

About Me

Just another fan of The Office.

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Posted in Season 4 - Fun Run January 10th, 2011
1. *Upon walking into his bedroom and looking at Jan, sprawled out on the bed, frizzy-haired and probably drooling*
"This is why I do it all. what I have to come home to. (pause)... yeah she probably won't be up for another few hours."

I.T. guy: "What was the purchase?"
Pam: "It was for sex tape."
Jim: "Really. How much did you pay for it?"
Pam: "Not relevant."
Jim: "You paid for it!?"
Pam: "It all happened so fast!"

Michael: Yeah..kind of a good news / bad news . I...was able to be on the scene so quickly because I was in the car that hit her."
Jim: "Who was driving?"
Michael: *Makes his signature bite-the-lip-look-at-the-floor face*
Pam: "Oh Michael."

Jim: "One day Michael came in complaining about a speed bump on the highway...I wonder who he ran over then."

Dwight: It was only Meredith.
Michael: Yeah but did you see the way they looked at me? Like I was a murderer.
Dwight: Hey...why did you do it? Was she talking back? Did ya get sick of that face? this downsizing?

*After Angela says she'll be visiting Meredith at the hosp.*
Dwight: Check to see if she's faking. Car hit me, it wouldn't crack my pelvis. YOu know what, I bet she cracked it at home. Jumped in front of a car to get some workers comp."
Angela: "I wouldn't put it past her."

Michael: I have an announcement.
Oscar: You pushed Darryl out the window?
Phyllis: You shot Dwight?"
Michael: I love all of my employees. Even though I hit one of you with my car.

(my personal fave)
Michael: Guess what. I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me. No...don't...don't sue me."

Michael: ..Cause you know what they say in the Bible about forgiveness. It's next to Godliness.
Everyone: No...that's cleanliness.
Michael: Well just shhhhhhh. Shht.

Michael: Do I need to be liked? Absolutely not. I like to be liked. I enjoy being liked. I have to be's not like this compulsive neeed to be liked. Like my need to be praised.

*After Dwight informed Angela that her cat had passed away*
Angela: How was she looking? Like, *sob*, when you saw her how did she look?
Dwight: Really dead. Like just a dead cat.
*Angela sobs*
Dwight: Hey...don't be sad. Come on. She's in a better place. Oh...actually the place she's in is the freezer. Cause of the odor.."

Michael: Did anyone do anything involving a Indian burial ground? Like park on it? Or dig up a body? Toby...anything you want to tell us?
Michael: I'm not superstitious. But...I'm a little stitious.

Dwight: As a farmer, I know that when an animal is sick, sometimes the right thing to do is to put it out of its' misery. With the electricity that we're using to keep Meredith alive we could power a small fan for two days. You tell me what's unethical."
(talking to Meredith)
"Blink once if you want me to pull the plug."

Michael: "Is there a God? If not...what are all these churches for? And who is Jesus's dad?"

*Answering the phone*
Pam: "Michael Scott's Dunder Miflin Scranton Meredith Palmer memorial celebrity rabies awareness fun run race for the cure, this is Pam."

Michael: "How many of you know someone who has been affected by rabies?" (everyone who knows Meredith raises their hand) "one two three too many to count! It's truly the silent killer."

"I can't beat rabies. No one can beat rabies."

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Quotes from  Michael Scott  Dwight Schrute  Creed Bratton  Pam  Random Quotes from All Seasons